I wish the power engineers
Behind the energy bank
Celebrate with dignity
Your biggest day of the year!
And of course I do too
With a smiling face
And with a light bulb as a gift
I'll come to congratulate them!
Thank you energy guys!
It's hard for us without you.
Turn on you still
And light to us, and heat.
Let the clouds all disperse
Luck will find you.
Happy Energy Day to all of you!
You - glory and honor!
At the end of the day, the shadow will thicken,
City windows will light up,
And energy your day
Celebrating this weekend.
Perceive the city as always,
As a given, light and current are common.
Never notice
Something that has become familiar to everyone.
No one will say: a miracle is light,
After all, he will be again tomorrow,
Microwaves we at lunch
We turn it on! The food is ready!
On TV again
We wonder about something
Nothing can take away the light
Forever and ever, as it were.
And he gets up early in the morning
That guy in the old overalls
He is in love with his work
He has no equal in skill.
And only then will they exclaim: “Light!”
In the kitchens of the dark townspeople,
When suddenly an emergency happens,
And nights of darkness will come around.
I want to drink for you too
Guys from city substations,
Let the light burn for a century and an hour,
Your work is blessed without gloss.
Let him be forever famous
Whose work is not noticeable, but significant.
Let the energy ignite the light
To your happiness and luck!
TV and soldering iron,
Refrigerator and iron
Conversed on this holiday
To congratulate you suddenly.
Thanks for the energy
We all speak in unison
And, of course, very
Thank you all!
You have energy on the day
I wish you happiness
Will be in your life
Always let 220.
Wish that phase
You didn't miss
To the heating main
Didn't break through in the winter.
Gas to continuously
Walked along the highway
So that the houses are warm
And the light was not turned off.
I wish good luck
At 100 watts shone,
In you, so that continuously
Energy seethed.
Happy energy day today congratulations,
If 220 - then with love.
And live so that the buzz is always without delay,
Not straining and proud of fate!
Let the light of the soul illuminate the road
Enough energy to get things done.
Let work bring only happiness
And they rejoice in their achievements!
Happy Energy Day, cheers
Congratulations, friends.
Let it burn with a bright light
And shines, life boils.
Constantly rewards,
And, like an outlet, it charges.
Good luck, sparkle with joy,
Doesn't make you rush.
Happy Energy Day! Let happiness
Sparkles in life every day
And the mood will be clear
And laziness will become annoyed.
Let wealth soon catch up
Dreams come true easily
Success will drop on your head
And noisy happiness will beckon!
You are an energy man, that's cool
After all, you give light to all people
And the biggest miracle
Called the internet!
Your energy is seething
And so it will always be!
Let the heart sound cheerful
And sadness will be alien to you!
Happy energy day, I congratulate you,
I wish you successful work
So that there are not enough hands for the salary,
So that everything is great for you!
May you be happy at work
Let the schedule be great
Let the boss want to work for you
So that you celebrate the holiday!
M tension arises between people if they have different potential
K Oda leaves childhood, in what wires ...
H There is no more permanent connection than temporary twisting!
***
F Aza is generally useful, but unpleasant to the touch ...
IN there are only two faults in the electrician: either there is no contact where it is needed - or it is where it is not needed at all
***
TO Every electrician wants to know where the phase sits.
...And Most importantly, we give a lifetime warranty on our products.” Plant of personal protective equipment for energy...
IN Moscow - Mosenergo. In St. Petersburg - Lenenergo. And in Kherson, too, there is energy.
ABOUT a knowledgeable electrician is afraid to take his wife by two breasts at the same time.
E if you crossed the road black cat, followed by a black mouse,
and behind her is a black Bug, and behind her is a black Granddaughter, then Dedka dug up not a turnip, but a cable!
WITH advice to a young electrician:
-If your hands are in dielectric gloves, it doesn't matter where they grow from.
E If the Russians loved to work, they wouldn't call a switch a switch!
TO Everyone knows from childhood: a thing wrapped in blue electrical tape will last forever.
IN as a single world currency will be kilowatt-hour.
Arthur Clark
TO Every time I open a junction box somewhere, I am convinced again and again that electricians in our country are creative people!
H and to the transformer booth it is written: “You won’t take US with your bare hands !!!”
G A hot soldering iron looks exactly the same as a cold one...
At electricians have one law: "Either on the shield, or under the shield!"
D For a good electrician, there is no such short circuit that he could not lengthen
H observation of electricians: Not fully drunk alcohol speaks of unhealthy energy in the team.
W ground ungrounded ground ...
IN In Russia, wireless technologies will always develop rapidly, because the wires we stupidly fuck.
ABOUT Announcement: I'm getting out of Internet addiction. Quickly, cheaply, permanently. Electrician Sidorov.
TO As you know, the resistance of the human body is about 100 kOhm. Every 100 g of vodka taken inside reduces the resistance of the body by 1 kOhm. How much vodka do you need to drink to reach the state of superconductivity?
WITH the resistance of a conductor is much greater than the resistance of... conductors
G The city's electrical networks will recruit 10 more young electricians.
WITH the administrator fancied himself the god of the network, the electrician rudely dispelled this myth
ABOUT announcement. IN kindergarten dumb electricians needed.
E lecturer: "I fell in love with her when she called a condom a 'fuse'"
"H start life from scratch, "said the electrician, sticking a screwdriver into the shield
E If you rub the magic lamp for a long time, you can hit with a non-magical current
E lecturer at work: "The last cartridge is for yourself!
H what is step voltage? (This is the tension that occurs between the legs when approaching the bare end)
Natalya Kuzmitskaya
Script congratulations on December 22 for power engineers on their professional holiday
All children go to scene, sing: (on the motive "We start KVN"):
Back in this room
There's not enough room in this room
We are all together again
Gathered for an important reason.
This means - holiday,
Congratulations, poems and songs,
It means joy
Smile for a friend!
Adults sing: The desired hour has come,
We were so looking forward to it
A little excited now
Why, why?
We congratulations from the bottom of our hearts,
Energy, you.
Now your babies
You congratulate now!
Children read a montage of poems
1. Calls and telegrams
They fly along the wires:
Today power engineers
Everyone wants to congratulate!
2. Say warm words to them,
Light up smiles
And everyone without exception
Send a big hello!
3. And here we are,
And we welcome you
And see the warmth
Your gentle eyes!
4. Thank you, relatives,
For your great work!
You gave life
Turbines and blast furnaces!
5. Plants, and factories,
And trains!
Theaters and schools
And kindergarten!
5. Light and warmth, peace and comfort
Us power engineers create everything!
6. Look at our city!
From a distance it looks like a mountain!
All in chestnuts, trees, maples,
It's so green in summer!
7. And beyond the river, and beyond the field.
Pipes of our station!
Look at the blue sky
Towers at the substation!
8. Turbines hum in the CTC,
The units are durable
They say they are ma-hee-ny!
Would like to see, right?
9. The air shuddered, flew
Thunder, thunder wave.
We were told: Don't worry,
Blow out valves!
10. Let us grow only
We will be a good replacement for you.
crane operators, bulldozers,
Electric welders, signalmen,
Various block machinists,
accountants, economists,
Well, in general, we will be a glorious change power engineers!
11. Settlement power engineers
No wonder they call Donskoy:
Here are our moms and dads
Grandmothers and grandfathers,
Great-grandmothers, great-grandfathers
Our glorious energy live!
12. In addition to the station, worries
There is nothing more important.
Russian prosperity,
And not just steam and light!
13. Our native station
Please take care and keep.
Just imagine: no it,
How will the country live?
14. She warmed everyone with warmth,
The kids are very happy.
Outside the window, cold, blizzard,
Come on, winter, dance!
Children perform a dance composition "If there was no winter"
Girls come out with a doll: (sing): Top, top, baby stomps.
Small in stature, and stupid.
Soon he will grow wiser, grow up,
He will come to work for you at the state district power station.
Top-top, top top, will not be easy,
Top-top, top-top, first steps!
boys: (motive "Marusya" from k / f "Ivan Vasilievich is changing profession» )
We go to kindergarten
But the thoughts of the guys
Around the problem of an adult revolve:
We'll grow up soon
We'll go to work
Professions in the garden are chosen!
Station work is hard
Station work is important!
Current is current - everyone in the world needs it,
Can heat and illuminate
There is no current - well, what could be worse?
Here's the trouble! – Ah! Oh!
Here's the trouble! Oh! Oh!
There is no current - we will grieve!
Two girls and a boy: ("Factory")
You see, I walk in the dark all night,
You see, I can't find my mother,
You see, in the dark kitchen we are together
Together with the mouse, we gnaw crackers,
Understand! Understand!
And outside the window - the lights are not on!
Look out your window, don't look...
Boy: Don't look, don't look there!
Turn on the light - and trouble will rush off!
Our state district power station - it will always be, you understand?
And you and I, when we grow up,
Let's go to work with dad
Let's go to work with mom
Understand? Understand!
Girls
Float across the sky...
High above the chimneys of our good station
The rains are.
boys: (in style "rap")
We are looking at the state district power plant, it is surprising to us,
We do not believe our childish eyes,
What size! What scope!
What power is in your hands!
Girls: Little white benches, little white tables
You bought us.
From the kids "Apple Trees", grateful "Apple Trees",
Everyone "Thank you" to you!
boys: ("rap") We come here for the umpteenth time,
Rather, let us into the workshops!
Better to see once than hear a hundred
Climb up the pipe, look at the roofs!
Girls: White boats, white boats
Float across the sky
Snowy, frosty, white, cold,
They carry the winter…
Boys ( "rap"): We are not afraid of frost! Every day, every hour
Our station warms us!
And it’s not in vain that the child is proud of her,
Novocherkassk GRES!
Child: All the guys are very happy from the bottom of your heart congratulate,
But today is a rare case, we will criticize you.
This afternoon December afternoon
We will sing ditties!
Children perform ditties (to the melody "Yaroslavl guys")
We are happy to perform for you
Here on the scene we climbed.
To you from our kindergarten
Oh, we brought ditties.
Congratulations Kindergarten
their power engineers.
Too bad he doesn't feel
Take care of them.
In your new bright hall,
All under "Euro" there and here.
Maybe you just don't knew:
Children are given the best!
But we are your grandchildren,
Your daughters and sons.
Why in our house
Ceilings leaking?
Only autumn has just arrived -
And in the garden the drops are ringing.
What did it take us
Oh, yes, with basins, a rigmarole!
And not euro - our windows,
And not the euro is our door.
Swap home with you
Oh, now we want!
Long thought-guessed:
To ask us?
Can we today
Oh, miss this opportunity?
The president is friends with sports,
Develops sports in the country.
And the waters in our pool
Not even at the bottom!
It's been under renovation for many years.
We all mourn for him.
We must splash in it
Bright, hot, summer day!
We wish our station
In a life difficult to resist.
She can (we know
Long, long time to give light.
All children go to scene, sing to the motive of the group "Factory":
1. Today we spoke to you from the bottom of our hearts,
And, believe me, the kids are very happy about this meeting!
wonderful scene and such a wonderful room!
I'll tell you at home today how I sang and danced,
Sang and danced!
Chorus: Station native, live,
Many years, and surprise everyone with this!
And warm the world around!
2. Don't forget about us, help sometimes,
And we will always live with dignity in our garden.
We will come to you, you congratulations, we wish you many years,
And in your hearts we will leave our "Apple Trees" Hello.
"Apple Trees" Hello!
Chorus: Station native, live,
Many years, and surprise everyone with this!
Native station, live, do not grow old,
And warm the world around!
Related publications:
Scenario of the matinee "Congratulations from the Brownie's chest" Scenario matinee for children preparatory groups"Congratulations from the Brownie's chest" Prepared by the music director of the MB DOU d / s No.
Holiday dedicated to the International women's day- March 8, children senior group"Rainbow" began with a cheerful dance with umbrellas and congratulations.
Once upon a time, in Rus', traditions and customs were passed down in the family from generation to generation - “by word of mouth”, “from heart to heart”.
In my photo report, I wanted to tell about my children. They are still very small and do not know how much. On the eve of the holiday with us.
Rain, his mother, in the morning
It pours as if from a bucket
In general, this is not a problem
If you don't give birth in a puddle
And ugly as a pig
However, this is for me.
Just ordinary things
But what happened then,
I don't always believe
You are probably wondering
What happened there?
I remember, to be honest,
I don't want... well, okay
Well, take a seat
I'll start my story now
Hardly anything like
You will hear at least once
It was on a Monday
number twenty third
And in the beginning it seemed
Everything is as it always is
I got up in the morning as usual
More precisely, at seven zero five
Hit the wall a couple of times
So that the neighbor does not think to sleep
Washed face, combed,
With a fridge in the kitchen
casually talked
The conversation was as usual:
Eating today is not fate
Tightening the belt
I went to work
I see, suddenly one passerby
He led himself after me
Something seemed strange
Me in his clothes
It was also strange
That no one saw him
But it wasn't dark.
And when he, having caught up,
He began to say something to me
I made a vow to myself,
I won't drink anymore
“I,” he said, “God's angel,
descended to you from heaven
But see me, however,
You can only, you bastard"
"Do you see what a thing -
Like an echo he echoed -
It's like we have in the sky
Napoleon would pass
Chaos, terrible mess
Send us the fifth day bow
Do you know who's to blame? -
He let out a groan with a question -
You, my son, are in the ribs
You are our cross and common stress"
"I?!" – "No, I'm a scoundrel!"
"But wait, angel buddy,
I didn't do anything
I'm pure as Mother Teresa
I just drink vodka and that's it.
And it seems that in the eyeballs
I'm long overdue"
"Come on, shut up
Yes, look at the sky!
Do you see the stars? No you don't see
There is neither sun nor moon
And you are the one to blame for this!
Are you an electrician?
"I'm electric"
"Are you climbing the poles?"
"I'm getting in, wait,
I don't understand where you are going?
Tell me everything!”
"Do you cut wires?
Light in houses for non-payment
Are you turning off citizens?
"Cut off, turn off
Still do not understand"
"Do you remember, your mother, like on Wednesday,
Forgive me, Lord, no light
Promised the whole planet
Are you leaving this summer?
You said you would cut
All over the world wire
And then even at the devil
There will be hell with two "
“What, did I really do it?
Damn it, that's it!"
"You don't remember the devil!
They got the most
There in hell is solid hi fi
Still, the twenty-first century
internet, microwaves,
Shower for sinful frying pans
It all depends on the wiring.
Well, you, having drunk vodka,
Managed everything in an hour
Destroy that for centuries
Created there by us
The devils moan that it's frozen
Their body is incorruptible
They go with complaints, damn it,
In housing and communal services heavenly "
"What to do? I'm then
I drank vodka to hell
And I don't remember shit
Cut what then
I mean, what kind of wires?
"Don't be afraid, don't worry
We have you right now
Let's bring it to those conditions
In which were you last time
Remember everything, believe me, my son,
Even when I came home
Time was - night hour
And wife-those frying pan
Shine right in the eye "
“Here, bitch, but she said,
It's me about the toilet"
"Okay, that's enough, here's a bottle
Without a snack, drink without delay
To avoid a hangover
Here's a magic potion for you
Drink, you will immediately forget
What will happen to you next
And in the morning you'll find
What are you lying with your face ... well, you will find out there ”
Everything came true, I want to tell you
As that angel spoke
Stars, the sun is in the sky,
So I fixed everything.
Too bad no one will believe me
They will say: “Drinks too much!”
So be it, but we know
Who will save the world in the end!
Electrician is one of the most important professions in modern society. Jokes about electricians are based on fictional stories, but we should remember that without these specialists our life will not be very comfortable. In jokes about electricians, you can find professional humor, which, nevertheless, is understandable to everyone.
Most of all, probably, about electricians will be interested in people whose activities are related to wiring, electricity, phase and transformer. After all, it's so cool, when reading a joke, to see yourself in the hero of his plot.
I work as an electrician, the boss wrote a work order: "Check the fuses for operation, repair if necessary." For the rest of my life I was puzzled by work.
They called an electrician to the factory where the machine broke down. The electrician walked around him, measured something, twisted it. Then he clicked some detail in it, and the machine started working.
Director:
- How much do your services cost?
Electrician:
- 500 Euro.
The director is puzzled, but not at a loss:
- Please send an estimate of the repair work performed
Estimated text
1. Click - 1 euro;
2. Knowing where to click - 499 euros.
Drunk electrician holding on to a pole. And next to it is a bare wire.
The electrician looks at him and says: - Nooooooo…
And he takes the wire with his hand - at this time he is shocked:
- All! Understood…
Electrician joke:
- Who is the coolest in the world?
- Electricity. He beats everyone, but nobody beats him.
- Why is he so cool?
- He is smart. Always takes the path of least resistance.
Three boys sit and chat.
- My grandfather, - says the first, - he was a tanker during the war!
- And mine, - says the second, - a pilot.
Third: - And mine was an electrician!
- Quit flooding, there are no such troops!
Third:
- I’m telling you for sure, he even has two lightning bolts drawn on his helmet!
Two electricians meet, one is single, the other is married.
The second asks:
- Why aren't you getting married?
- I'm looking for a three-phase wife.
- How is that?
- So that there is a beauty on a visit, a hostess in the kitchen, and a kurti ... nka in bed.
After a while they meet:
- Well, did you find a three-phase wife?
- I found it, only it has a phase shift ...
- ...?
- She is a mistress in bed, a beauty in the kitchen, and a kurti .. nka is visiting.
At work, electricians are so harsh that they have a 4 mm steel soap dish welded.
The husband comes home. His wife says to him:
– The switch is broken, please fix it.
What am I, an electrician?
The next day:
- The faucet is leaking, it needs to be fixed.
What am I, a plumber?
On the second day, a man comes home, the tap does not flow, the switch works. - Who did it?
- Neighbour.
- What did you ask?
- Sing or give.
- Well, what, you sang?
- Am I a singer?
Announcement:
Household needs an electrician. Work schedule: two days off a week, on Saturday, if they call, then you have to go out, and if they don’t call, then don’t go out, and on Sunday, even if the wiring lights up, you can not go, but we guarantee payment.
The sapper and the electrician make only one mistake, but the electrician also dances before he dies.
The electrician sits on a pole. Too lazy to go down for the wire. Asks passing grandmother: - Granny! Give me that wire! - Take it, son. In the brain of an electrician, it flashes: "yeah, that means it's not a phase."
The lady calls the electrician.
- I asked you to come and fix the bell!
- And I was with you.
But I didn't go anywhere.
- I came, called, no one opened up for me, and I left.
And now for the sports news: yesterday, at the swimming competitions, electrician Sidorov closed the top three.
Electricians. Master to student: - So I can grab this wire with my bare hands and it won't kill me. Do you know why?
- Nope.
- Because I turned off this part of the substation!
- Ah-ah-ah-ah! Understood.
- But you will stand in rubberized clothes, in rubber gloves in rubber boots and on a rubber mat, and you will still move!
- And why?
- Yes, because you need to learn notes, and not clap your ears!
If your phone is turned off, then the telephone operator is joking. If the light - electricians joke. And if water, electricity, telephone and gas, then Russia has finally recognized your sovereignty.
Three men are arguing about whose profession is ancient.
Builder:
- Yes, our profession is the oldest. We also built the Egyptian pyramids.
Gardener:
- Yes, where are you going? Our specialists planted the Garden of Eden.
Electrician:
- What are you all arguing about? Even before God said "let there be light," we already had all the wiring laid.
What is your profession?
- I'm an electrician, at the factory ...
- How much do you get?
- And it depends on what kind of soil ...
Why is there a greenhouse effect, just the other day two women knocked on my house about the end of the world and began to talk. And it's true: the next day, electricians cut off electricity throughout the street, changed the supports.
A man enters the control room, and an electrician is sitting there.
Man: Why are you sitting here?
Electrician: - This is my office!
Gossip:
And they also say that in America, deaf-and-dumb electricians are not given dielectric gloves.
Hello, Seryoga, I have a wiring problem here... are you an electrician?
- No, I'm a turner!
- Well, it's still connected with the current, let's go help!
The electrician sadly looks at a large pile of ashes near the transformer box and says: - I told you “phase”, and you told me “zero, zero!”
An electrician, a chemist, a mechanic and a programmer ride together in a car. Suddenly the engine stalled.
- The electrician says, - "Probably the battery is dead."
- The chemist says, - "No, probably not the right gasoline."
- Mechanic, - "I think this transmission is not working."
- Programmer, - "Can we get out of the car and go back in?"
The ensign asks the soldier:
- Is it true, Kuzkin, that you are an electrician?
- That's right, comrade ensign.
- I found you a job in my specialty. You will check at 22.00 whether the lights are off in the barracks.
In the entrance of the house near the respectable gentleman lying on the floor are an electrician and two ambulance doctors.
Electrician:
- Some kind of nervous ... I finished the work, I ring the doorbell and say:
"Master, the meter is on..."
Electrician at work: "The last cartridge is for yourself!"
Girl, let's meet. I'm electric. I work with a voltage of ten thousand volts. Recently received the sixth category.
- The sixth category - stunned! And ten thousand each!
Elected become electricians, so if you have not hit 220, you should not even think about the profession of the lord of darkness.
I called her to me and playfully hinted: they say, there will be no problems - we, electricians, use rubber protective equipment not only at work. She replied that although she was not an electrician, she was also taught not to walk on cables.
In the operating room:
Doctor, I think we've lost him...
- Oh, what will happen now?
- Nothing, nothing.
- Now the electricians will repair the light, and we will find it.
He shouldn't go far...
- Where will he go in the dark ... Under anesthesia ...
- Yes, and his kidney, here I have left here.
Every time I open a junction box somewhere, I am convinced again and again that electricians in our country are creative people.
The electrician's son comes home with a swollen cheek.
- What's happened? the father asks.
- Yes, one end of the wasp turned out to be uninsulated.
In the bus:
- Your ticket?
- No, what about yours?
- I'm a controller, actually!
- And I'm an electrician, so now I don't have to pay for electricity ?!
Hey, Vovan, here on the sign it says "Caution, do not dig - communication cable!"
- What will happen? This is not a high voltage wire, but a communication cable!
- And it will be that in which case an electrician will come and get in touch with you!
A drunken man stands near the women's toilet and presses the light switch button. A woman comes up and says:
- Man, you, apparently, need to go to the men's toilet, you were mistaken! The man shakes his head and says:
- Nope. Woman again:
- Man, you made a mistake, you need to go to the men's room!
Man again:
- Nope.
Angered woman:
Man, you need...
The man interrupts her and, stuttering, says:
- Well, go away, I'm an electrician-ik.
End of the day...
A breathless trainee electrician runs into the change house to the foreman and shouts:
- Stepanych! What to do? The girls have already plastered the walls, but I forgot the wiring!
- Oh, student, how much to teach you that you can’t forget about vodka at a construction site!
Why do the lights dim in the cinema? The electrician slowly, slowly removes the plug from the socket.
Electricians have one law: "Either on the shield, or under the shield!"
A sailor looks into a suite on a steamer and asks a gentleman who is there:
- Excuse me, sir. I am the ship's electrician. We had one passenger accidentally electrocuted there. You will not have cognac and lemon wedges?
- Of course of course. Here's cognac and lemon.
- Thank you, sir...
The sailor closes the cabin door, gulps down all the cognac in one gulp, bites into a lemon, sniffs his sleeve and says:
- Damn, for how many years I have been working on this ship, and still I can’t calmly see how one of the passengers is shocked ...
Two electricians stand in the corridor of the office center and look at the wall.
One says:
- Che Second:
- Let's cut it. And there - who will yell first ...
Village. All day long three electricians drip in the transformer box. The whole village was de-energized. Business for the evening. The whole village gathers around the transformer.
- When you turn on the light.
- My refrigerator is already defrosted.
- How can!!!
Electricians Responsible
- Citizens... Be patient for a couple more hours... We'll finish soon. We are trying for you. After we finish, you will forever forget what electricity is.
The electrician runs to the signalman,
“Give me your claws, you have to climb the pole.” He gave it to him.
An electrician comes running in ten minutes,
- Hey, signalman, give me one more claws.
- And where did they go?
- Yes, they remained on the pole.
I'm making a chair for my mother-in-law here!
- And how much is left?
- No. The only job left is for the electrician.
From an explanatory electrician. "I got 250 grams of alcohol to wipe contacts. In the process, I inhaled alcohol vapors, lost self-control and drank everything else."
"Let there be light!" - said the electrician and climbed for matches.
After being electrocuted, an electrician trainee is asked:
- What's your name, remember?
- Not sure!
- Will you stand up?
- Not sure!
"Well, are you sure of anything?"
- Yes! From the point of view of paradoxical induction, this situation catastrophically mystifies subjective abstractionism.
"I'll start life from scratch" - said the electrician, sticking a screwdriver into the shield.
The electrician does not fall far from the pliers.
In the semi-dark entrance, an electrician is busy with a broken lamp, the tenant who entered sympathetically says:
- Isn't it dark? Can the light be turned on?
One electrician talks about his work:
- If you knew how many volts I held with these hands!
- Ah, so you play cards at work?
An electrician from the housing department receives a call on his mobile and is told: he has an accident at home, the sockets are cut off, the light is not on. Runs home, rushed to eliminate. His wife: - Wait!
Pours 100 grams. The electrician was surprised and drank. After some time, everything was fixed, it is necessary to run further according to the requests. His wife puts $ 50 in his pocket, the electrician is completely crazy, and his wife: Take it, take it, you can’t relax in your business.
Why is the remote not working?
- Of course, I'm not an electrician, but in my opinion, the remote control does not work, because there is no TV.
After the marriage, nothing shone for the electrician.
The plate on the door of the transformer booth.
"Don't get in! I'll kill you! Electrician."
They built a building. Electricians came, installed a new electrical panel, applied voltage. The next morning, the foreman looks, and the shield is all torn up, bent, burned.
The foreman calls the master on the carpet: - What are you doing at all? What's happening?
Master: - Ah ..., yes, these are guest workers email received from the network.
- So what? All received?
- Everyone got it, but no one had time to read it.
From notebook electrical:
- It is very difficult to find a switch in a dark room, especially if it is in the corridor!
Two electricians meet in the next world.
- What, phase? one asks sympathetically.
- No, land! - answers the other.
- Do not pin, the earth does not kill!
- How it kills! Especially if you fall from a pole onto her upside down!
The chief power engineer says to the head of the personnel department:
- Lena! Check the new electrician's file again. Every time after working in the control room, he erases fingerprints from the machine.
The electrician says to the mistress of the house:
- I found the reason why your lights went out - this is a short circuit.
So lengthen it.
From a letter to A. B. Chubais.
Dear Anatoly Borisovich, the electrician Vasily Andreevich Prokopov writes to you. Do something. In view of the great external resemblance to you, I am beaten very often.
How an electrician lives is a state secret. What does he live on - commercial.
A man comes to an electrician neighbor and sees: he is standing with a frying pan in his hand, frying scrambled eggs, only doing it in a strange way. From one electric stove he rearranges it to the second, from the second to the third, then again to the first.
Man:
- What are you doing?
- Yes, I have a wire to the electric stove from the traffic light!
In a lunatic asylum, a lecturer gives a lecture on the advantages of the current government. They all clap, except for one.
- And you, comrade, why don't you applaud?
- And I'm not crazy, I'm an electrician!
