There are things that we simply cannot change or somehow influence. So why apologize for them? So that later we would actually begin to be blamed for something of which we are not guilty? When apologizing, you need to know when to stop. Here's a list of things we shouldn't apologize for.
1. Period of menstruation
Maybe your man is sulking at you because sexual pleasures have come to an end for some period, you should not apologize for this. Let him sulk at Mother Nature. You did not choose this “pleasure”; evolution imposed it on you. So why apologize? Well, if he doesn’t understand this, then he’s worthless.
2. Small (large, soft, sagging, etc.) breasts
The fact that your breasts have become exactly this way and not any other is, again, not your merit. And the fact that you begin to apologize for her will not change the matter, but on the contrary will create the impression that she is in fact the fruit of some of your ill-conceived “machinations” or, in general, “meditations”. Your man has no right to reproach you for the fact that your breasts have developed regardless of his preferences. Which means there’s no need to apologize for it.
3. Number of former partners
The fact that you apologize to someone for having previously had sexual relations with this or that person will not make it any easier for you or the person to whom you are apologizing. What is done is done. And if your current boyfriend suddenly turned out to be a “boy,” the merit in this is not yours, but his. You cannot change the state of things, which means you shouldn’t waste your nerves on such apologies.
4. Pimples
We're getting ready for a dinner party, and suddenly a pimple pops up on your face. Will you apologize? Not worth it. This won't make the pimple go away. And it won't improve your mood. Although, no, to your partner, maybe yours: “Forgive me!” and will cheer you up if he belongs to the category of snobs, but it certainly won’t make you feel any better, neither morally nor physically. You didn’t hit that pimple on your forehead with a stick. So why apologize for something you didn't do?
5. Character
“Sorry I’m like this!” - a frequent remark. But who is to blame for the fact that you were raised by such a kindergarten, school, mom and dad, and the entire society that has fallen on your shoulders? That's right, no one. Maybe you need to change in some ways, but you shouldn’t apologize for the fact that you have just such a nature and no other. Breaking your personality to please someone else, adjusting it to someone else is bad. Why doesn't he adapt to you? Right. He knew what he was getting into when he started a relationship with you. And therefore there is no need to apologize for your nature.
6. Makeup and outfits
Every woman has the right to choose the style of her makeup and outfits. If someone doesn’t like something about her “outfit,” don’t expect an apology. Apologizing for liking yourself but not liking others is stupid. It’s not worth bending over for everyone. As well as apologizing for wearing makeup and outfits that you like and not them.
Conclusion
You should not follow the lead of third parties. Apologizing to someone for something that is beyond your control means lowering your own self-esteem. Considering the opinions of others more than your own is a bad move, which in the future will definitely affect you and your life for the worse.
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A serious man who dreams of a close-knit family and children, isn’t this the dream of every representative of the fairer sex?
Imagine the situation: you order a decaf latte and they bring you a double espresso. What do you say? “Sorry, but this doesn’t seem to be exactly what I ordered”? That's right. But it’s better to remove the word “sorry”.
A recent study found that women apologize more often than men. And not because we are more polite. The fact is that for decades society has instilled a feeling of guilt for the fact that we even have our own opinions or desires and needs. It's time to stop asking for forgiveness for existing and the choices we make. Never apologize for...
1. Your “love status”
Being free (not lonely, but free) is not a crime, no matter how often your mother hints to the contrary, asking when she will finally see you in a white dress. And if you have a partner and for some reason you do not want to enter into an official marriage, this is also not a crime. Without a stamp in your passport, it is quite possible to live, enjoying each other’s company.
Are you married and happy as a housewife? This is no less a worthy choice than any other if you are happy and feel in your place. Whatever your Facebook status, your personality is not determined by your personal situation. It doesn't matter who thinks about it or what. This is your life, and you should live it, not your mother or friends, who know exactly how it should be done.
2. How you use the womb
Yes, sorry (oops, apologies again!) for being straightforward, but that’s exactly what it’s called. Are your parents tired of hinting that they want to babysit their grandchildren, while you firmly understand that motherhood is not your path? You have every right to do this and do not have to make excuses for it, even if you change your mind ten years later. Or you won't change your mind.
To give birth or not, how often to give birth, how many times to give birth - concerns only you
Or maybe they tell you that only selfish people give birth to just one child? Or does your friend, foaming at the mouth, prove that the earth is overpopulated and having a third child is pure madness (and you want five)? It's just your choice. To give birth or not, how often to give birth, how many times to give birth - concerns only you. Even if we are talking about surrogacy (consider it a rented womb, that is, temporarily yours). Being a parent is a lifelong choice, and you should not make such decisions to please other people's beliefs.
3. The way you raise your children
There is not a speck in your house, the children are clean and tidy, the dog does not bark and obeys all commands, but one of your friends still said: “Real mothers don’t have such order”? Or your child is watching a cartoon while you decide to relax for ten minutes with a cup of morning coffee, and you feel guilty: a good mother would be working on the child’s development now, and not turn on a cartoon for him? Or maybe you secretly can't wait for the day when your children finally grow up and leave their parents' nest? Whatever it is, don't beat yourself up. You are doing the best you can. No one can say what it means to be a “real mother.” That's why you are the real mother you are.
4. How often do you have sex?
It is believed that the happiest couples have sex at least twice a week. And if once is enough for you and your husband, does that mean your marriage is on the verge of collapse? Or do you consider it necessary to make excuses for your increased libido when your girlfriends raise their eyebrows at your revelations like “And we have three times a day”? As long as you and your partner are satisfied with the frequency of intimate contacts, no one’s opinion should bother you. When we have sex against our desire, it takes a toll on our psyche and relationships.
Every day, twice a week, once a month... This does not characterize your union, nor the strength of love, nor the degree of happiness. The main thing is that you feel good as often as you want.
5. How successful are you?
Are you over 30 and not yet earning six figures? This means you have no ambition and are a failure. Are you in love with your job and enjoying your career? You're too focused on this. Have you achieved success, but are you hiding it so as not to be envied? Or maybe you are VLD - just a housewife? What a shame, because you had such potential.
At best, you will feel pride for a short time, but disappointment will follow.
Anyone who utters this phrase should first try to be “just a housewife” and raise children at the same time - he will probably be greatly surprised by how much effort and potential this requires.
No matter what you do or how much money you earn, work is important not only for you, but for the whole society. And trying to reach the bar of success set by other people will not lead to anything good. At best, you will feel pride for a short time, but it will be followed by disappointment, because this is not what your soul is about.
Common reasons why people don't apologize have already been outlined by the blog writer. However, as for the fair sex, it has its own specific characteristics, which is discussed in this article.
Reluctance to apologize is a male tertiary goat trait, but women are much more stubborn in this regard. The fair sex resorts to apologies and asks for forgiveness much less frequently than the stronger sex, although women stubbornly deny this. However, the “better half” denies everything that she doesn’t like or seems suspicious...
Neither the smart, nor the stupid, nor those who feel guilty, nor the loving, nor the kind, nor the fair, nor the young, nor the old, nor the experienced, do not apologize! They don’t apologize to anyone, not even their father, brother, husband, boss. They don’t apologize even to their own detriment! There are many among these stubborn people who will endure years of difficulties, but will not apologize! “To spite grandma, I’ll freeze my ears off!” - it’s said just about them!
In those rare cases when smart, beautiful women do condescend to admit their guilt and apologize, they do it formally, casually, for show or “under pressure.”
Has anyone seen a daughter-in-law apologize to her mother-in-law, or vice versa, a mother-in-law to her daughter-in-law? Such an event occurs in nature, but is observed only slightly more often than a solar eclipse!
There are, of course, exceptions: for some insignificant or obvious trifle, a woman will apologize. Well, if you accidentally scalded someone with boiling water or dropped an iron on his leg, you spent his entire salary on some crap, etc.
But overall, women's reluctance to apologize is astounding and deeply puzzling. And especially those who are still little acquainted with the fair sex.
Such primitive psychology is not taught in schools, universities, or advanced training courses. This behavior is adopted naturally, that is, through imitation. Daughters from mothers, granddaughters from grandmothers, younger sisters from elders, and all together - from friends, from glamorous magazines, and especially from women's sites, which are full of stupid articles of various kinds of pseudo-engineers of human souls and unemployed psychology graduates.
The main reasons why women don't apologize.
1. A woman is always right.
All reasonable people know this. After all, the scripture also says that it was Adam who slipped the apple to Eve, which is why, as a result, people were expelled from paradise! 😦
What a woman wants, God wants! And what a man wants, the devil wants! Charles Darwin drew attention to this fact in his famous book “The Origin of Species,” where he noted that it was thanks to women’s rightness that the rapid evolution of Homo sapiens as a species took place.
Some uneducated, dark people are trying to argue: is it really that a man is never right?? Happens! And quite often. However, whether a man is right in a relationship with a woman has absolutely no meaning! 🙂 A woman is right by nature, but a man is right only by his knowledge, of which he does not have much.
All real men, henpecked men and women, have clearly learned the presumption of women's innocence a long time ago and do not rock the boat! But the weaklings and wimps are still fussing over there! 👿 It never dawns on them that asking for forgiveness is a purely male responsibility!
2. A woman is not obligated to ask for anything at all!
And why ask if they love her! If he loves you, he will forgive you. If he doesn’t forgive, it means he doesn’t love. And if he doesn’t love you, then why apologize? Impeccable logic. 😎
Any gentleman knight always knows about all women's needs. And without any prompting from her! He thinks about this day and night, in his sleep and in reality! And if he doubts something, then he directly asks his girlfriend about what her darling wants! Did she suddenly have any new desires? After all, all smart, beautiful women are rich in desires! They appear spontaneously, for no reason, and can be quite unexpected. And even if it seems incredible to him that the woman is wrong, he immediately asks for her forgiveness.
But there are not so many such real, independent men! Most people stupidly pretend that they know nothing about such etiquette! Rude, uncouth louts!
3. In the event that a thought nevertheless arises in a woman’s head that she probably should have asked for forgiveness or at least made a trivial apology, then a special brake-analyzer is immediately launched in her brain, which makes complex logical calculations: “Will she forgive or won’t forgive?”
Sometimes the brake asks a man directly: “If I apologize, will you forgive me?” And if an ungrateful man still stubbornly does not answer this question, then the brake can meet him halfway and apologize. But in exchange for a modest gift or some other compensation.
Someone will say: “This is not an apology, this is a trade!” But no! What kind of trade is this? This is impeccable female logic! If they don’t forgive, then why apologize!? And if you’re asking for forgiveness, it’s not for nothing!
4. If the brake level turns out to be insufficient, then the limiter “pride won’t let you!” is activated.
Pride is actually a terrible thing! She is like paralysis: she doesn’t give - and that’s all! How many complaints have friends heard for this reason: “I want to return to my husband, but my pride does not allow it.” 😦 “I want to ask the guy for forgiveness for everything, but I can’t humiliate myself!” They cry, 😥 but they cannot ask for forgiveness! Pride “takes my breath away!” Again, they hope that “if he loves you, he will forgive you.” Oh how!
If you want to return to your husband, then step on the throat of your pride, save it for more suitable occasions. In particular, don't give it to just anyone. This is the proper use of your pride.
What is the difference between a smart woman and a stupid woman, point 2? And the fact that the smart one cleverly uses her own apologies for manipulation, while the stupid one “is hindered by pride.”
5. You can always wait with an apology: what if they forgive you anyway! So why, in this case, rush to apologize!?
A favorite tactic in this regard is “stupid frost”. 🙂 That is, pretend that nothing happened, everything is within normal limits. And if “nothing like that” happened, then why ask for forgiveness? Moreover, men have short memories, weak nerves and a strong addiction to sex. He got angry and angry and chewed it. And if he started to struggle, he ran into the woman’s last argument. And then he will have such a hard time.
6. If a woman does condescend to apologize, she will never be the first to do so! Not first, but only on a first-come, first-served basis. The woman is not the first to apologize. Yes, and the second one too. Why apologize second if the first one has already apologized!
And in general, the one who has the weakest nerves is the first to apologize. And the woman has nerves - be healthy!🙂
7. Often smart, beautiful women want to apologize, but they cannot overcome their nature! That's the tragedy! Then they resort to a workaround - nonverbal forms of apology and nothing other than hints and allegorically... Well, cook a delicious dinner, put out a couple of beers for no reason, buy the offended one some small new thing or please him with unexpected hot sex, etc. And although such forms of apology are not entirely understandable for male stupidity, they are quickly cut short: apologies are good, but sex is better! 🙂 Especially if the intimate partner begins to somehow take the initiative or move at least a little.
Why should a woman ask for forgiveness if she gives love? Dude, what's more important to you: an apology or sex? You can live without apologies, but without sex... 😦 Or does someone disagree?
8. Fear of gloating and ridicule from a man. Some ungrateful bastards, instead of accepting an apology, kissing such a clever girl, giving her flowers, taking her to a restaurant, etc., begin to tease her with their idiotic remarks! “Ah-ah! Look how screwed up you are! This will continue to happen to you! But you are a fool and you never listen to me!”
Fools! You can only tease a woman fearlessly from afar, like a bear in a zoo. If you do this by getting close to her, she can rip your arm off! Or something worse!
9. A woman, especially the dominant one in a marriage, by apologizing, loses her position as a manipulator and space for maneuver. When she asks for forgiveness, she seems to fall from her pedestal.
The moment you ask for forgiveness, you lose freedom. (Tetcorax)
And this is unacceptable! Where have you seen a mousetrap asking the mouse for forgiveness? Besides, asking for forgiveness is so easy! There is no art in this!
Ideally, a woman tries to receive forgiveness without asking for forgiveness itself. Apologizing doesn't fit into her acting role. Instead of apologizing, you need to make the offended person feel guilty! And it’s not at all difficult for a woman to come up with a reason for this!
10. There is no need for an apology.
He doesn’t apologize because he doesn’t think it’s necessary. And especially, he will not apologize to someone to whom he is indifferent, with whom he is angry, whom he does not respect or despise.
But still, the most important reason is that the woman simply does not understand that she must apologize. He doesn’t understand - that’s all! He doesn’t understand and doesn’t want to! Why doesn't she understand this?...
See point one.
Relationships can be long, or they can end with the appearance of the first rays of the sun. We don’t know what you strive for when meeting girls. But for sure, if you want to build a long-term relationship in full accordance with the canonical wish “until death do you part,” then you will be picky in your connections. The greater the expectation, the more careful the choice. Therefore, it is better to immediately pay attention to the points that directly indicate that you should not expect anything serious with this girl.
1. All the talk is about her Actually, there is nothing wrong when a girl talks more than a guy. In general, it is unusual for men to just chatter like that. But when she talks only about herself and her problems, without being interested in yours, then this is a sure sign of her selfishness. You got promoted at work, and she keeps talking about her new perfume. Has your friend been in a serious accident? Yes, what is there! It’s much more important that she didn’t go to the solarium today.
2. You have different values
Opposites may attract, but not when you have different values and worldviews. And now we are not talking about the situation when you support Spartak, and she supports Zenit. There are disagreements that are much more significant. For example, different attitudes towards managing money and expenses or different ideas about family. Such differences (and others like them) can lead to further complications.
3. She's always too busy
Of course, it would be worse if she was free all the time. You hardly need a slacker. But if she rejects any of your proposals for a meeting, citing the so-called busyness, it means that she doesn’t really want to meet. At least that's what the prioritization of her schedule suggests.
4. Her boyfriend dumped her
But now pay more attention so as not to miss the thought. We don’t mean that her boyfriend once left her for some reason. The timing of their separation is important here. If this happened recently and she brings it up often, then you could be serving as a temporary refuge for her, a way to distract herself, or, worse, annoy her ex. In this case, you should abandon such a relationship. And if you really like this girl, then give her time to recover from the breakup, and if she’s worth it, she’ll appear in your life again. Who are you for her: a guy for once or a guy forever
5. One-sided desire to make contact
6. She has changed since you met.
Some people at the beginning of a relationship, trying to please their partner, try to seem better than they really are. And often in this case they resort to lies. In metaphorical terms, this means that when she met you, she declared her love for hockey, and when you started dating, it turned out that she doesn’t even know what a puck is. If a girl lies at the very beginning, she will not stop doing it later.
7. You can't be yourself with her.
If you have to be unnatural, affected, overly serious, silent or irritable around her (in general, not be yourself), then it is better to refuse her. And it's not even that she's bad. You're just not right for each other. It’s much worse if a girl hinders your development and with her you degrade. It’s better not to let someone like that come within range of a cannon shot.
8. She's unfaithful
We're not even talking about the situation where she cheated on you. What matters is how she behaved with other guys. If you know that she cheated on all her exes, then what is the likelihood that this girl will remain faithful to you?
9. She's against your friends
By and large, your girlfriend doesn't have to like your friends. You probably don’t always like them either. And if she doesn't want to spend time in their company, that's not so bad. But if she forbids you to do this too, then go to hell with her. Why do you need an extra dictator in your house?
10. She doesn't trust you
Unreasonable jealousy doesn't make her cute. Try to convince her of this. And even if after this she still continues to not trust you and you keep coming across traces of her espionage, then stop tormenting the girl - break up with her.
11. She never apologizes or takes responsibility.
Relationships are built on mutual responsibility and the ability to find compromise. You, as a man, must make greater concessions than she does. But if a girl never admits her guilt, even when this guilt is obvious, and never apologizes, then this indicates her immaturity for a relationship. 10 qualities of a girl that you need to pay attention to
Still from the film “One Day”
So, you hurt her, made her cry, and now she's trying to forget your name. We understand that the situation is not simple, but getting out of it without losses is quite possible. In this material we decided to tell, while maintaining relationships and a head on our shoulders.
But before you want to take our advice, remember one important rule: ask the girl for forgiveness only if you fully admit your guilt and are ready to make amends for it with all consciousness.
If this sounds like you, let’s move on to practical recommendations.
Preparing for an apology
Before you start your fiery speech with words of remorse and despair, you should mentally prepare for this and understand how badly you screwed up, and what shocks your girlfriend experienced after that.
1. Calm down and take a short break
We must understand that it is impossible to have a constructive conversation in the power of emotions. If at least one of you is after a quarrel, you should take a short break, collect your thoughts and calm down a little in order to be ready to adequately analyze the situation.
You shouldn’t immediately throw yourself on her lap and beg for mercy after you’ve done something unpleasant. Give yourself and the girl time to later solve all the problems in an adult way.
2. Understand where you were wrong.
We all tend to justify our mistakes. Therefore, before you apologize to your girlfriend, make sure that you do not say: “You, of course, forgive me, but I think that I am not to blame for anything.” Even if you really are not guilty of anything (which is unlikely), such an approach will obviously be a losing one.
In order to sound sincere and receive the forgiveness you deserve, you need to comprehend everything that you have done. Try not to lie to yourself and identify the real reason for your quarrel.
In the process of so-called soul-searching, you can come to unexpected conclusions that will lead you to identify all your mistakes and be ready to repent.
3. Choose a place and method for your apology.
Now you just have to figure out where you will apologize to your girlfriend in order to take the first step towards restoring your relationship.
If you live with her and will see each other anyway, make sure there are no distractions. If you understand that this is hardly possible, invite her to some cafe to talk in private.
If you and your girl live at a distance, and she doesn’t want to see you, you’ll have to resort to another form of communication, for example, apologizing to her via SMS or on VK. Completely different rules will apply here, unlike live communication, and we will tell you about them a little lower.
How to apologize to a girl if you really offended her
So, in this paragraph we will tell you exactly how to say what should melt her heart. The main thing here is not to look for bright and beautiful quotes on the Internet, but to speak in your own words and be as honest as possible with her and yourself.
Here is an approximate algorithm of actions that should be followed if you meet face to face:
start by saying that you fully admit your guilt and understand the gravity of what you did;
try to give an explanation for your actions, and this will definitely count towards you. If you find it difficult to find a justification for your actions, try to dig a little deeper and say, for example, that you were rude to her because of not quite the right upbringing in childhood and not the best example of communication in the family, and also because of the current toxic environment, the influence of which It’s not yet possible to completely level it out;
now say simple words of forgiveness that should sound honest and sincere;
after that, tell your girlfriend that you realize the mistake and therefore are never going to repeat it;
don’t forget to say that you value your relationship and value it very much, so you’re ready to do everything possible so as not to upset her like that again;
if you see that your girlfriend has begun to soften a little, try to lightly touch her hand, and if you notice that she doesn’t mind, try to hug her gently.
Looks easy, right? However, remember that the girl will not necessarily listen to your explanations in silence.
Listen to your girlfriend's position
As you already understand, it is unlikely that your apology will be one big sentimental monologue. It is quite possible that at some point your girlfriend will want to express her opinion about what happened, in which case her reaction will most likely develop in two possible scenarios.
First scenario(desired) - you will still manage to beg for forgiveness, and she will become emotional, forgive you and begin to talk about her experiences and reverent attitude towards you. Don't interrupt her and listen to the end.
Second scenario(more likely) - you will have to answer for the insult caused to her, humbly bowing your head and listening to everything you deserve. There will be strict criticism and accusations, which you will have to accept with courage, in no case falling into a similar tone. If you suddenly allow yourself to confront her, it means that you have lost and failed the task. Your apology is unlikely to be accepted, so you'll have to start all over again. However, if you endured everything with dignity, your girlfriend may soften and, most likely, forgive you.
How to ask a girl for forgiveness remotely
If for some reason you can’t communicate live, then they can help you: a phone number and her number, a profile on social networks, paper, a pen, an envelope and a person who could give her all this. There are a lot of ways to apologize in absentia, it all depends solely on your readiness and creativity.
Naturally, no one canceled the classic messages online with the same words that you would say in a meeting. The advantage of this format is that you have time to think before sending it all, as well as the opportunity to attach a photo of you together or your favorite song.
But if you think that this will not bring the desired effect, you can take a more serious step and record an apology video for her, sending it to her in a personal message or, even better, posting it on Instagram or YouTube. Here you can experiment as you like - sing a song, read poetry, dance sensually alone with her photo, show some cute trick, come to an open microphone and perform a stand-up routine in which you apologize to her, and much more.
In addition, there is always the option of handwriting her a letter on a piece (or several sheets) of paper, sealing it in a beautiful envelope, buying her a small gift that only she will appreciate, and sending it all by courier to her place of work or home. People do this often, believe me.
If you feel that you are very guilty, all methods will be good. The main thing is to do all this with maximum dedication and honesty, because pretense is very easy to notice.
If you think that the girl was offended just like that, and you are not to blame for anything, try to analyze this situation in more detail, looking at it not only from your side.
Sometimes guys mistakenly think that girls create scandals and whims out of nowhere for the sake of... fun, because this should be a kind of shake-up for the relationship or a way to make a man more flexible.
But, by and large, guys simply see the situation one-sidedly and selfishly, without thinking that in some moments they can really go too far.
Advice: Never jump to conclusions or make impulsive decisions. Always put yourself in a girl's shoes - this is the surest way to understand her feelings.
By the way, we even have a special one in our relationship. Well, are you ready to find out the whole truth about yourself?
