Of course, in the life of every girl since childhood there is a friend - the only one who will always support you with advice, go for a walk with you, and will be with you always and everywhere. In the life of each of us there was, is or will be a friend - the only and irreplaceable one. An indicative example of a beautiful female friendship can be called the film “Sex and the City,” where Carrie Bradshaw’s friends are always with her and support her in any situation.

Why does male friendship exist, but female friendship is in doubt?

Any friendship is based on trust, the ability to listen and support, the ability to lend one’s shoulder in difficult times and rejoice in joint successes. Very often, friendships arise between people who have common interests or hobbies. Friendship between representatives of different social levels is an extremely rare phenomenon in terms of sincerity of intentions. We need friendship, communication with a person who we can trust with our problems and experiences.

What is often found in female friendships that destroys them?

Envy… It is often always present in varying degrees, and can often accumulate for years until one day it explodes like a volcano. Sometimes it is precisely this that interferes with female friendship - banal envy. As long as the friends have the same standard of living, their friendship can last for years, but as soon as a good job, a handsome man or an expensive handbag appears in the wardrobe, the friend begins to burst with envy. You can argue, but I think: almost everyone has experienced this themselves. Women have a developed spirit of competition since childhood; it arises not only when it comes to one man, it is present in everything.

The main stumbling block in female friendship is men.

This is where friendship ends and the law of the jungle comes first - every man for himself. And if it so happens that interests in relation to a man intersect, the friendship is over. This can include constant criticism addressed to you: how you dress, who you communicate with, how you could go on a date with him, etc. Everyone lives the way they think is right, and such advice leads to quarrels. Sometimes we simply “grow out” of our environment and begin to look at our childhood friends differently. This does not mean that they have become worse, just that interests and opportunities diverge over time.

Women love to cry on their friend's shoulder and feel sorry for them.

This kind of emotional support keeps women together. But when a woman finds a man who is ready to wipe away her tears, all her best friends immediately fade into the background. Of course, there is real, I emphasize this word, female friendship, but it’s rare. And it is built, first of all, on mutual respect, on the attraction of the soul and mind. Women should be interesting to each other as self-sufficient individuals, without envy, gossip and criticism. Perhaps in this option, if there is no rivalry, men and all of the above, you will have a real devoted friend!

Does female friendship exist as a phenomenon or do two girls always remain rivals of some sort? Let's try to understand friendship between women from a psychological point of view and answer the question of whether two representatives of the fair sex can be sincere friends and how strong the emotional ties are in such relationships.

There are a whole bunch of quotes, sayings and jokes about female friendship. “Women's friendship,” along with “female psychology” or “female logic,” is difficult to fully understand.

Friendship does not depend on gender: it either exists or it doesn’t. Betrayal, deceit, and betrayal can exist regardless of whether you are a woman or a man.

“Buts” often arise in female friendships. There is a widespread belief that friendship between women exists, BUT:

• If this is a friendship from school years;
• If it does not interfere with family relationships;
• If you do not cross the line of excessive confidence;
• If one of the women does not constantly burden you with her problems;
• If they suit each other in character
• If there is “someone to be friends with”, etc.

The origins of female friendship

“We were friends since school, we were always together, I knew all her secrets, and she was my main vest and the first one to find out the news. At the institute we moved to different cities, but always kept in touch. Last year she came to visit (it was a given that she would stay with me), but instead of a once close friend, a completely stranger came to see me.”

In such a situation, some women begin to feel guilty and ashamed that they do not feel a connection with their friend and the obligation to imitate this connection. Interests, views on life, and behavior patterns change dramatically over time, but the sense of duty that covers childhood friends obliges them to continue communicating.

Or another common case:

"She is my best friend. She came in the middle of the night when my boyfriend left me, she always talked to me until the morning, I could call her at any time. Then we rented an apartment together, she always helped me out.”

And so this burden of responsibility drags on from year to year, crushing the feeling that “we need to be friends,” although there are no longer any common interests or desire to meet. When the excuses run out, such friends, gathering their strength, meet in a cafe, exchange the latest news for half an hour, and the rest of the time they diligently indulge in memories of the past. Because there’s nothing more to talk about.

Why do women carry this unnecessary burden of old friendship?

Why does female friendship last for years, even if no one is interested in it for a long time? Often, in female relationships, profit or personal motives prevail (speaking frankly, as in relationships between men or women and men).

• Some women are always ready to help, because they subconsciously assert themselves through their dedication.
• Others find benefits in friendship with a woman, since it is easier to arrange leisure time. It is more interesting to visit public places, go to the gym, overcome the discomfort of a new social circle or personal social fears.
• Still others, in friendly communication with a friend, allow themselves to “relax and be themselves,” because they are forced to wear the mask of a pious lady or a modest housewife in the family and at work.
• A separate conversation concerns young mothers who simply cannot cope with the role of a homebody and need to speak out to at least someone.
• Some girls maintain friendships in order to “wait out” the time until their family life improves. With potential love on the horizon, friendship easily dissolves. However, they are revived with incredible ease when the first family difficulties arise.

A kind of friendship for friendship's sake.

Women select friends, as a rule, based on common interests (fitness, swimming, drawing, courses, etc.), lifestyle (young mothers, travelers), and geographic location (friends from the same school, from the same school). At the same time, when the “connecting link” is changed, it turns out that the friends have practically nothing in common.

In this regard, the most advantageous option is student friends, that is, people who appeared at the moment when the personality was formed, the girl was open to change, and many life events were overcome together with her friend. People who meet at this moment, as a rule, can remain friends for years, since the friendship arose consciously and was strengthened by shared experiences.

Emotional subtext

Women are more emotional and dependent than men. Therefore, from childhood they become attached to other girls. The meaning of such relationships is mutual interest and the need for attention, which is satisfied by both parties. In early childhood, they make contact subconsciously, without trying to find benefits in communication.

With age, in connection with the formation of personality, subjective interests come to the fore. And due to an undeveloped sense of responsibility, some girls are ready to neglect female friendship for the sake of profit. This is where the popular belief comes from that friendship between girls does not exist.

Competition among women is the main argument in favor of the fact that female friendship does not exist.

At the same time, they can compete subconsciously, this happens at the level of instincts: a woman (female) must be the best in order to be with a strong man (male) - this is necessary to ensure safety and procreation.

When two women achieve a certain social status, material wealth, enter into a happy marriage and with general satisfaction with life, competition begins to tend to zero.

However, at a younger age, two “friends” often butt heads in an attempt to get what they want. When girls do not yet have permanent partners, they often apply for the same man. This is explained by the general social circle and the distributed social roles within it.

With age, the choice of girlfriends becomes more conscious, based on common interests, benefits for both parties, and includes certain conditions. Often, sincerity fades into the background, giving way to more material aspects, but both girls continue to consider themselves friends.

Psychology of friendship
between women

A woman is naturally endowed with the ability to empathize and emotionally immerse herself in any issue. Female communication has a strong emotional and sensual inner content.

The main feature of female friendship is the tendency to discuss rather than solve problems. It is important for a woman to speak out, receive support and see sincere interest in the eyes of her interlocutor. Unlike a conversation with a man who is practical by nature, women's conversations have a pronounced emotional context, which forms close emotional bonds. In friendship with a woman, openness and trusting relationships develop, which a woman naturally needs.

Women do not educate; their unspoken duty is to support.

If the roles are reversed and one of the girls decides to take a didactic or defensive stance, there is a high risk of conflict or resentment developing. The reason for a woman's resentment (and even a complete cessation of communication) can be anything - a random word, an unanswered message, a small act, an inconvenient request or a refusal to it, etc. Resentment in response to the fact that a friend did not share some news is also common (a feeling of uselessness arises). In such situations, women can remain silent towards a friend for a single month (or even a year), without explaining their behavior either to her or to others.

Damaged pride?

Women by nature are owners, so grievances often arise because one of her friends preferred another company, did not invite her along, or did not share her plans.

Women's conversations and "idle chatter"

Having a heart-to-heart conversation with another woman is a form of “therapy.”

Emotional release during a conversation helps to get rid of the accumulation of negativity inside. In this regard, friendship between women is an ideal tool for stabilizing one’s emotional state. At the same time, the expressed problems do not burden the listening party, but, on the contrary, fuel interest in communication. They become a kind of connecting link, the secret of two allies. Common interests also help to get fresh emotions - already positive ones.

Women tend to talk for the sake of talking.

This passion for small talk, without trying to get anything valuable out of it, without looking for answers - in fact, the exchange of empty information, brings pleasure and has a positive effect on their emotional background.

The point of such conversations is not to find a solution. The woman understands that her friend needs, first of all, the opportunity to speak out and receive an emotional response. Finding answers in such situations is often impossible in principle, since it contradicts the mechanisms of women’s perception of reality. However, such communication helps to significantly reduce the emotional distance between girls, bringing them closer.

Social adaptation through friendship with other women

Women's friendship is a powerful tool for building social relationships in which you can assert yourself, gain benefits, and develop. This is a basic human need - to be accepted in society. A woman can become better only in comparison with her own kind.

From the sandbox, children look for people who would understand them. The beginnings of female friendship are formed already at this stage, since from a physiological point of view, boys and girls develop differently. And the psychological perception of men and women differs throughout life. What another woman can easily understand may remain unknown and incomprehensible to a man, since he will not be able to find logic. In female communication, the main role is played by emotional presentation and sensitive perception of information.

This is the main difference between male and female friendship: the goal of female communication is the process of communication itself, while male communication is the search for solutions and logical understanding.

The other side of female friendship is the gossip, quarrels and intrigues that are stereotypically attributed to it. However, such manifestations of friendship between girls exist more often in adolescence, when, as we mentioned earlier, personality is being formed. Despite this, the girls continue to be friends and maintain relationships even after serious betrayals. Especially if the social circle of both (or one of them) is not wide. It is important to understand the motives of friendship with each person, so that if it fails, you will not be left with nothing.

Friendship and love between women

In essence, female friendship is the same connection as between a man and a woman, but without sexual overtones.

“Women for the most part are so indifferent to friendship that it seems insipid to them in comparison with love.” F. La Rochefoucauld

Women do not marry, but their relationships certainly include interest, respect, support, joint leisure, and intimacy. Moreover, in female friendship the manifestation of these qualities is sometimes much stronger and brighter than in a married couple. Meetings may be less frequent, but more interesting, the impressions are stronger, the support is better.

At the stage of formation of sexuality, girlfriends can “fall in love” because they do not understand the emotions that appear for the first time, and give them vent in the available ways. So, some girls may fall in love with a friend, confusing hormonal changes with the manifestation of warm, friendly feelings.

As for love between women, this phenomenon also takes place, contrary to the usual ideas about love as a relationship between a man and a woman. Love between women, like friendship, is based primarily on a subtle emotional connection.

When friendship between women definitely does not exist

Any action of a woman is based on her emotional state. Women trust their feelings more than men. However, just as often they are confused in their feelings. When you ask almost any woman about her friends, there's a good chance you'll get an answer like:

“We have a best friend Masha, friends Lena and Natasha, friends from work and a few other people whom we sometimes meet.”

And there will be a clear gradation: girlfriend, close person, friend, acquaintance, neutral people to communicate with, etc. Each of which will have its own “function”: vest, company, take up time, useful communication.

What prevents women from building friendly relationships with other ladies?

As practice shows, there are 2 main reasons that are closely related:

• Envy;
• Personal unfulfillment.

They already lead to resentment, betrayal, and talking “behind one’s back.” When women begin to be “on opposite sides of the barricades,” friendship is out of the question—the constant desire to prove something and be better comes to the fore.

If at least one of the women begins to feel discomfort, their relationship is at risk.

Women's friendship is hampered, first of all, by upbringing and inconsistency of views. Friendship is a highly moral concept, based on the principles of morality and responsibility, which is instilled in girls from childhood. “Being able to be friends” can only be achieved by those for whom these concepts are not an empty phrase. Excessive egoism, reluctance to accept another point of view, acquired indifference, inflated self-esteem are the main enemies of female friendship.

Selfishness, by the way, inevitably exists in any female relationship, although it manifests itself in different ways. Regulated selfishness helps maintain friendly relationships. But when it gets out of control, confidential explanatory conversations cannot be avoided.

Friendship between women collapses when at least one of the parties has an opinion like: “You are my friend, so you must...”.

Any relationship is an exchange of emotions and energy, both positive and negative. When problems arise with one of the women, a conflict often arises: “she didn’t support me, but she should have.” This is a failed approach. Demanding support from any person is useless. If someone “should,” friendship becomes an obligation, and its very essence is lost.

Don't try to keep in touch with old friends just because you feel responsible for the past. Everything you could give, you gave. Dating “out of politeness” to your detriment means wasting time on an unloved and useless activity. Learn to change your social circle in a timely manner, otherwise the chances increase that you will be “sucked in” by a past that is not at all interesting to you.

And yet, there is no such thing as female friendship or...?

Whether female friendship exists depends on many factors, and the main one is the desire to be friends, which is present on both sides.

Mutual respect, reasonable dedication, lack of demands and ulterior motives are the fundamental components of friendship between women. The presence of common interests, a shared past, matching temperament and life goals can maintain this friendship for years. Only by being yourself in a relationship with a friend, being honest and appreciating the openness of this friendship, can we say with confidence that female friendship can happen. After all, you are not friends with a woman, but with a person.

It is impossible to measure true friendship; it is needed no less than air. What about female friendship, which most people call a myth? Is there female friendship? Does it happen at all? Why doesn't female friendship exist? What is female friendship? Maybe the only girls' best friends are diamonds... To the question " Do you have any friends?“A modern boy or girl can answer “Yes, 200” or “300,” because so many people are on the VKontakte friend list. They say about such people: “ There are a lot of friends, but there is no true friend" But it is necessary to separate the concepts “ friendship" And " acquaintance».

Why don't female friendships exist? Is it so

For a woman, like for every person, " without a true friend - great sadness" Sometimes we really need to communicate “like a woman,” without a man’s mind and logic. Someone calls their mother, who can always help, make them truly happy, or their sister a friend. But unlike consanguineous relationships, friendship is an individually selective relationship with mutual affection among the participants. The question arises: who should you choose to be your friend?

Each in her life has certainly encountered both cases of true devotion, mutual assistance and support between women, and servile pseudo-friendship, beneficial only at a certain time. Strong female friendship, real, without mistrust and flattery, is not a rare phenomenon. Another thing is that there are more obstacles to its existence than reasons to preserve it.

Why is there no female friendship? For many women, friendships break down when family comes along because friends fade into the background. For some, female friendship exists until... until a potential beau appears. Competition constantly gets in the way of friendship. The biggest bone of contention between women is envy, the reason for which is sometimes ridiculously petty. Friends are made not only in trouble. A true friend shares positive feelings with you - she sings with happiness when you feel good!

Friendship is an art that depends on both parties. This is a treasure that must be found and preserved. Close relationships between representatives of the fair sex can give incomparable pleasure. If you are frank in your communication and discuss not only fashion and men, if it is not femininity that comes to the fore, but friendship, then we can sincerely congratulate you.

Does female friendship exist? Some girls believe that there are no true and faithful friends and never will be. Everyone has their own opinion, but I will answer “YES”. And everyone will have their own symbol of female friendship.

The theme of female friendship leaves no one indifferent. When entering into a discussion, everyone remains with their own opinion, since they rely on past experience and perception. Men are skeptical about female friendship; psychologists cite scientific factors confirming its existence. Close friends defend female friendship. Ladies who have suffered betrayal do not believe in her. Let's take a closer look at the situation and find out whether female friendship exists.

Friendship between women: an excursion into the past

Since ancient times, men have acted as protectors and breadwinners. Women were assigned a different role. The ladies spent time at home, organizing their lives and raising children. The circle of communication was limited to conversations with neighbors, mother, and acquaintances. Warfare forced men to participate in battles. The girls again remained in the women's circle. Friendly relationships developed. From them friendships between women were formed.

There is no need to go into such extremes. Remember your upbringing and take a closer look at what attitudes you give to your children. We invite girls to play with girls, but we send boys to male company. This division is inherent within us; the choice is made unconsciously. Yes, preschoolers get along well with each other. But, growing up, they definitely make friends of the same sex.

Why do girls prefer to communicate with girls? Because they have common interests. It’s better to play mother-daughter, draw, dress up dolls, than play football with the boys. There are exceptions to the rules. But we are talking about the majority. It turns out that the basis of female friendship is psychological and social aspects. Forming friendships begins with common interests.

How is female friendship different from male friendship?

The friendly relationship between the girls develops into a strong friendship. Ladies prefer communication with their own sex rather than the opposite. Communication functions play the main role. How is female friendship different from male friendship?

Such differences are not presented in order to elevate women and humiliate male friendship. They are laid down by nature and are necessary for better understanding. Logic, a penchant for analytics, and restraint are qualities that come in handy for men in the professional sphere. Without emotionality and sensuality, women would not be able to raise children. After all, young children in the first months react to emotions, and not to serious conversations.

Is there friendship between women?

Surveys have shown that most girls believe in female friendship. When answering questions asked by psychologists, women relied on their experience. Therefore, belief in friendship between women is supported by several factors. The ladies believe in friendship, which began in school. They deny its presence if the girls acted as rivals in the fight for a man. They also note that friendly relationships are possible when a friend does not interfere in family life. A third of the ladies surveyed do not believe in female friendship. This conclusion was formed as a result of the betrayal of one friend. The opinion of most women is that friendship is friendship, but it is better to keep your friend at a distance, not trusting 100%. Leave secrets that only you will know. Do not talk about secret things, relationships with your beloved man.

To avoid misunderstandings with your friend, do not create suitable conditions. Don't leave him alone with the guy. Limit communication between your friend and your boyfriend. Meet only in groups, organize double dates. If you notice that your friend is staring at her husband, then do not invite her to visit.

When communicating with a close friend, the girl trusts all the secrets and shares her experiences. It's no secret that women discuss relationships with men and other problems. As a result, the friend has information not only about her life partner, but also about her surroundings. Taking advantage of this situation, some girls take the man away from the family or beat the guy off. If a similar situation happened to you, then do not give up on friendship. Each person has his own moral principles and beliefs. Most likely, you made a mistake in choosing a close friend, you let in an envious and deceitful person.

When does female friendship end?

Female friendship is distinguished by strength and loyalty, if you are lucky and manage to find a true friend. If friendships were not formed at school or college, then it will be more difficult. A person acquires principles, foundations, rules and looks for a person with similar interests. When choosing a friend, pay attention to her surroundings. A large number of acquaintances and friends around will indicate that you will have superficial relationships. A girl like this has no time for friendship.

How to maintain female friendship?

Every relationship takes work. You can’t keep a friend in reserve and remember her as needed. When you need to show off your new jewelry or cry into your vest. Don’t forget to congratulate your friend on the holidays, invite her for a walk, organize family trips. How to maintain female friendship?

Choose a friend based on your interests. If you don’t have a close friend yet, then take a closer look at your friends. Study habits, interests, manner of communication. You should be comfortable with this person. Friendship will not work out if you are an avid homebody, and your friend likes to spend all her time in clubs and parties.

Don't teach me how to live. Advice, support, expressing opinions are normal relationships between women. When pressure begins, conviction that one is right, discussion of a friend, then communication turns into teaching. Don’t put pressure on your friend and don’t allow this to happen to you. At the stage of friendship formation, you accepted each other with all the advantages and disadvantages. If you see that you can help your friend, point out the negative aspects of character and behavior, do it gently and without moralizing.
Understanding. Eliminate envy from relationships. Such a feeling destroys friendship and a person. When listening to your friend, do not blame or condemn her actions. Try to put yourself in her position and speak out as you would have done. In friendship between women, mutual understanding and respect are important.

Don't forget to put acts of kindness into your relationship. Don't wait for your friend to ask for help. If you are able to support with advice, financially or in any other way, then offer help. Not everyone knows how to ask; many are shy, afraid to interfere, or do not know how to express feelings and emotions.

Friendship between women and its psychology is a hot topic that is being studied, research conducted, and conjectures made. Do not treat this phenomenon as a phenomenon. The strength of relationships depends on the base on which they are built. If female friendship is formed on the basis of loyalty, trust, and respect for each other, then it will last from school to old age. Selfishness, envy, and betrayal are not the best supporters of any relationship, including female friendship.