Every person on his life path wants and strives to find happiness. And everyone puts their understanding into this word. But, probably, no one will argue that one of the important components of happiness is friendship. True, true friendship, like true love, is a rather rare phenomenon. A quote by Marlene Dietrich even says that friendship unites people much more than love.

Trust, patience and reciprocity are what truly friendly relations are based on. And quotes about friendship will prove it to you.

Friendship is about learning to be human. And although no one is immune from mistakes, the main thing is to be able to notice them in yourself.

Everyone wants to see a faithful and sincere, spiritually rich and comprehensively developed person as their friend. And for this you need to be like that yourself. The ancient Greek poet Euripides, who is so much loved to quote, formulated even before our era: "Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are."

Of course, this doesn't always work. To quote the French philosopher Paul Valery: “Don't judge a man by his friends. With Judas, they were impeccable.” But, I want to believe that this is still an exception to the rule.

Friendship is such a great feeling that great people often talked about it. Poets, writers and philosophers have often addressed this topic. Therefore, there are so many wise quotes and aphorisms about friendship.

Sayings of great people about friendships

A true friend is with you when you're wrong. When you are right, everyone will be with you.
Mark Twain

A friend is a person who knows everything about us and yet loves us.
Elbert Hubbard

Love can be unrequited. Friendship never.
Janusz Wisniewski

Do not rush to choose friends, even more so to change them.
Benjamin Franklin

Only the hand of a friend can tear the thorns out of the heart.
Claude-Adrian Helvetius

In the hustle and bustle of this world, friendship is the only thing that matters in personal life.
Karl Marx

Sincerity of relations, truth in communication - that's friendship.
Alexander Suvorov

He who does not seek friends for himself is his own enemy.
Shota Rustaveli

People can drink together, they can live under the same roof, they can make love, but only joint activities of idiocy indicate real spiritual and spiritual intimacy.
Eva Rapoport

What is alive who did not know the saint of friendship? It is like an empty pearl.
Alisher Navoi

In the building of human happiness, friendship builds walls, and love forms a dome.
Kozma Prutkov

Whoever is human gives others support, wishing to have it himself, and helps them to achieve success, wishing to achieve it himself.
Confucius

Publius

Friendship is when a person feels good just like that.
Yuri Nagibin

Friendship multiplies joys and crushes sorrows.
Henry George Bon

Stretching out your hand to friends, do not clench your fingers into a fist.
Diogenes

All the honors of this world are not worth one good friend.
Voltaire

We love friends for their shortcomings.
William Hazlitt

The Lord gave us relatives, but we, thank God, are free to choose our friends.
Ethel Mumford

Without true friendship, life is nothing.
Cicero

Henrik Ibsen

Friendship penetrates into the lives of all people, but in order to preserve it, it is sometimes necessary to endure grievances.
Cicero

In my life I have become convinced that talking with friends most of all and most inconspicuously takes away time; friends are great time thieves.
Francesco Petrarca

People are born to help each other, as the hand helps the hand, the foot helps the foot, and the upper jaw helps the lower.
Marcus Aurelius

He who is a good friend himself has many good friends.
Niccolo Machiavelli

Who wants to have a friend without flaws, he remains without friends.
Bias

The friendship that ended never actually began.
Publius

Friendship is not such a miserable light to go out in separation.
Johann Schiller

A true friend is someone who will hold your hand and feel your heart.
Gabriel Marquez

Friendship does not need a slave or a master. Friendship loves equality.
Ivan Goncharov

There are people we forgive and there are people we don't forgive. The ones we don't forgive are our friends.
Henri Monterlan

You don't have to be a dog to be a friend.
Mikhail Zadornov

It is better to be in darkness than without a friend.
John Chrysostom

Love demands infinitely less than friendship.
George Nathan

Friendship is the harbor to which a person aspires, it brings joy and peace of mind, it is rest in this life and the beginning of heavenly life.
Torquato Tasso

It's not so hard to die for a friend as it is to find a friend worth dying for.
Edward Bulwer-Lytton

The most beautiful gift given to people after wisdom is friendship.
François La Rochefoucauld

The law of friendship prescribes to love a friend no less, but no more than yourself.
Aurelius Augustine

The best pleasure, the highest joy in life is to feel needed and loved by people.
Maksim Gorky

You can never do too much for a devoted friend.
Henrik Ibsen

Abraham Fisher, Friends (2011). Image from artdoxa.com

Thinking analytical psychologist Julia Zhemchuzhnikova.

Acceptance, development, joy, tenderness

Let's start with how to distinguish friendship from all similar relationships.

- From childhood, I really like the song: "A friend will not leave you in trouble, he will not ask too much" - in my opinion, this is an ideal designation.

And then there are various refractions of friendship - up to the now popular "friendship" in social networks. A complete stranger asks for friends, and you think: "accept him as a friend or not accept him." For me, there is still a certain pause, and it’s difficult for me to just press a button to call a stranger a “friend”.

Friendship is the highest form of human relationships.

Someone from the ancients said that friendship is love devoid of sexual relations.

First- this is acceptance: a friend, like a loving person, accepts you as you are, with all your perfections and imperfections that he may not like.

Second is development. That is, friendship is a developing relationship. We need someone to support us, to encourage us to do something, just to be around or to do something together. The most enjoyable thing is doing something with a friend: running, raising children, building spaceships. Therefore, many businesses start with friends, although this is not very correct.

We learn from friends unconsciously - perhaps this is the most enjoyable form of learning.

That is, a friend is not the one who slips you books or leads you to training. He reveals to you by the very fact of himself, his presence, some new facets, and you move along with him.

Third the component of friendship is joy. A friend is someone you have fun with. You just think of a friend and you're happy.

Fourth the component of friendship is tenderness, warmth. Maybe at the moment the thought of a particular friend does not give you much joy, but you always feel warmth and emotional closeness.

This is the base. And how often you see each other, how you communicate - these are the details of your relationship.

More importantly: it is IMPOSSIBLE to be friends against someone. This is a conspiracy, association, coalition, but not friendship. The stories of all wars and betrayals are about this. Friendship is an extremely positive process.

Friendship differs from other relationships in that it is always mutual. Even love can be "one way".

There is love for a poet or an actor who doesn't even know you exist, or for a child who has long separated and lives on his own, or for a person who has died. And friendship is a must. For example, I have two girlfriends with whom the three of us are friends.

There is a good word that helps me a lot in life - “fellow travelers”. For example, parents are fellow travelers, but only for a certain segment, and then it’s time for them to get off the train. Children are also our fellow travelers, but it is different with them. But with friends, we can be fellow travelers for a lifetime.

At the same time, it is clear that one cannot be a fellow traveler to oneself, and one cannot be a fellow traveler of the whole train. A companion is someone who sits next to you.

Where is the border in friendship

Minna Heeren, Girlfriends (19th century)

- What is more important in the ability to make friends: to give or to receive?

“There must be balance.

There is no such thing as: “This is my friend, and I am dragging him through life.” Or “this is my friend, and I only owe him,” this is an unhealthy relationship, more like an addiction, not a friendship.

We have friends who complete us. Here in my neighboring village there are people whom I can ask: “Can a child spend the night with you? It's a long way for him to get home."

I do not discuss philosophical issues with these people, we have many differences. But in some everyday things, I can rely on them, and they consult with me if they have a misunderstanding with the children.

Friends, namely friends, may well be on the network. Because everything is already possible on the Internet - to exchange "passwords", thoughts, to determine the property, to feel emotions, boundaries, to help with money .... Sometimes on the Internet this is more than in person. I have been friends with people for several years without really meeting. And then I meet, and no disappointment. And we, as a tribute to tradition, gave, touched for each other, looked, drank tea and make friends further in the network.

Are there people who don't know how to make friends?

- Yes, I have. I think it's about borders. On the one hand, they are very tough. On the other hand, it is difficult for people to understand where I am, where the other is.

For example, when I go to the city, I sometimes have to wait an hour for the bus. And there is a relative who has a large apartment and who says: “Don’t come, I’m cleaning now!” This is not even about work, but about the fear that “something will be wanted” from her.

And there is a friend who has a large family in a small apartment. And she just asks: “What time, and how many of you will be there?” That is, the conversation turns not about how uncomfortable she is, but how much soup she needs to cook.

The skill of friendship is the skill of not defending yourself with a wall. And inability is climbing beyond the personal boundaries of a person: “if you are a friend, tell, help, cheer ...”, or “let me help you, teach, correct”. There are such "friends" - rescuers, of course, such "friendship" does not last long.

The art of being friends lies precisely in the fact that a friend understands, feels where it is necessary to intervene and help, and where there is already enough.

Borders - they are not like a fortress, they are like a tree, for example. Mixing foliage is one thing, breaking branches is another ...

Friendship goes through some kind of test all the time: do we perceive things the same way? Or, conversely, a friend can give impetus to something new. When we get close to people, we "feel" them. “He loves rap, but I don’t understand this music. He reads such books, but I like others. And this is not only about acceptance, but also about development. Because it’s one thing when I just accept everything, and another when it’s not clear at first, but it’s interesting and I want to try it.

The more a person is defined, manifested, the easier it is for him to find friends. Because you are going in a particular direction.

But when you are lost and rushing about, you come into contact with people in separate incomprehensible points.

Friends need to be able to let go

Alexander Deineka, "Friends" (1962)

- Friendship ended - is it always a tragedy?

“People need to be able to let go. Friends, children, parents. And we always try to think in constants. I have must be: children, friends, etc. is a constant fantasy of some kind of stability.

Maybe this is because there is too much uncertainty in our life, but we constantly come up with something “unshakable” for ourselves. And the same thing happens with friendship: “If we are friends since childhood, then we should always be friends!” But what does "always" mean? We ourselves “not always”, we change, people change, friendships change.

If two bricks are placed side by side, they will lie for so long, but two trees cannot grow side by side forever.

Friends need to be able to let go a certain distance, and this is not at all necessary to lose. I have a friend who I haven't seen in thirty years and I don't even know if he's still alive. But our friendship with me. Distance for friendship is not so important.

It often happens: we go through life, we go out to some kind of “common” clearing and it turns out that we are going the same course, just at a distance from each other. Although whether we will go out to the next clearing, I do not know. Sometimes this happens for objective reasons - we live far away.

And sometimes you try to walk with a person through the forest, holding hands. But it’s so inconvenient, the trees get in the way, you need some distance. Moreover, with the same people, sometimes you go very tightly, and sometimes you disagree a little.

Friendship is something that remains with you as a resource, remains in your memory, even if the person has died.

The most intimate sphere is money

- Should a friend provide you with free services as a specialist? He's a friend.

- My colleagues and I once discussed what our people have the most intimate topics. And it turned out that the most intimate topic is money, very rarely anyone can speak frankly about them. If a person honestly talks to you about money, you have the highest confidence in him, he can tell you about the most difficult situations of his life.

Of course, money spoils friendship, because we still don’t know how to handle it. Therefore, you need to be careful when introducing them into relationships with friends. But we always have a fantasy, as in the fairy tale "The Flint": "If I come with a bag full of money and treat everyone, the attitude towards me is the same, and when the money then runs out, the attitude changes." And this is not because people are so bad, they are just used to this format of relationships. Therefore, in relation to money, everything must be clearly stated.

In general, I really like the European style: yes, we met and cried together in a cafe. But then there is your money, and then there is my money. That is, we can talk about intimate, but at the same time everyone pays for their coffee and their sugar.

It's like with socks: if we are friends, this does not mean that we will constantly change them. If you rubbed your leg on a hike, of course, I will let you wear your dry ones, but not every day.

Money ruins a lot of friendships, and friendships ruin a lot of businesses started with friends.

We generally like to do things with friends. But it’s good to start a business with them when there is no money, but you need to invest a lot of energy, thought, and effort. Until the first money.

Money is a very large resource, when it appears, you need to decide what to do with it. And often this is a daunting task.

Spoil, by and large, not money, spoil expectations. And here it is very important to say: I can do something, I can’t do something.

What are friends for a family man

K.E. Makovsky, "Friends-buddies" (1895)

- One of the crises of friendship is marriage or marriage. The person with whom he spent time, told the secret, is no longer so needed - there is another close one nearby. It turns out that it was not friendship, since it can be replaced?

- Of course, after marriage or marriage, all human contacts are shaken up. Relations with parents change, but with friends they change sometimes even more.

When a person is in a state of love, he has many tasks to build new relationships, and all other people fade into the background for him for some time. Good friends understand this moment and can be happy for you.

A good friend in this situation is like a man on a hike who watches over the camp: the two retired to a tent or went up the mountain, and at that time he maintains a fire and is ready, if necessary, to offer them hot tea.

Marriage or marriage is a big test for friendship, but after a while, friends, if they really were friends, will again become necessary for a person. In love, a person first dissolves, but then needs to restore identity: I am not only a wife (husband), but also a doctor, friend, athlete, etc., I can have my own relationship with God, with people.

And friends are very necessary so that a person can again slightly disconnect from feeling like “halves”.

This is a very useful, correct process. If this does not happen, perhaps there is codependency in marriage, when a person sees everything through the eyes of a partner and loses himself, his personality.

A man goes to football with friends, drinks beer, goes fishing or to the garage, a woman goes with her girlfriends to the theater and for manicures and talks about her, feminine. And this is not a situation for jealousy, because men are friends with each other under the motto "we are men", and women have their own women's conversations. And further, in a good version, everything should come to a certain balance: the friends of the spouses turn into a common company, there are friendly couples in it.

— How to find a balance between feeling and duty here? Finding yourself is great, but a person also has family responsibilities.

- Marriage is psychologically similar to a parachute jump. Here you are flying together, you are fine. But you will not fly like this all your life, at some point you will find yourself on the ground again, you will return to your entire life around you, including work and friends.

Usually one of the spouses remembers friends first. And then a situation arises: “Oh, she left with her friends, then I will go to football!” Worse, if either side says, “Oh, is he (s) with friends? I don't want that!" This is already aggression, possessiveness, so you can only damage the relationship.

On the other hand, we must understand that most of our beliefs from the series “a man should” or “a woman should” are traditions of the time when they believed that the husband should be the “breadwinner” and the shelves should be hung. We grew up in a system of musts, but such questions are the realm of love.

- But there are some inevitable agreements: I will cook the soup, and you will bring the child from school, even if you have to miss tennis ...

- Undoubtedly, we come into a new relationship with some kind of contract. Behind our backs there are parental families, and some well-established ideas about how these relationships should be built.

But you can simply say: “He went fishing with friends, I don’t understand what they are doing there, but he needs it,” and everything will be resolved more safely.

These are such subtle twitches of the lines of the joint parachute and check.

I once had such a company of hikers. People gathered, built a huge barge and rafted on it along the rivers. Men discussed men's topics in their company, women had their own conversations. All this went on for many years - children and grandchildren grew up. After all, there was already a mixed company. Someone inside her was friends crosswise, somewhere husbands were friends, but there was no wife. But it was an opportunity to get in touch with each other's world.

Often such relationships are not liked, because they are also part of your husband's life. And I want to capture this life completely, jealousy also arises for work, for books. It may just be a reluctance to share. Or the inability to build relationships.

And the donkey Eeyore can be a good friend - under certain conditions

Frame from the Soviet cartoon about Winnie the Pooh

- It happens that a person says: “Friends should have helped me and did not help!” How to avoid unjustified expectations in friendship?

- While we are alive, we have some expectations, including from friends. When something happens in our life, we, of course, expect someone to help us. If these expectations are justified, we remember it: “I didn’t even have time to think, but they took it and helped.” Plus, such situations are told in the movies. And we begin to think: "When I feel bad, my friends help me." And next time, our expectation grows stronger.

But at some point, expectations are not justified: maybe we forgot to call our friends, we thought that our needs could be heard through space. Maybe friends didn't have the opportunity. And then it hurts, it's insulting and sad. Whoever is used to being angry in such cases, he is angry; who is used to getting upset is getting upset. The one who is used to shifting responsibility to others blames everyone around, and the one who is used to taking responsibility for himself is worried: “I don’t know how to choose friends!”

Sometimes you need to turn to friends and express your expectations in plain text. Saying wishes is useful not only for friends, but also for ourselves. Because we often want something without realizing it, something like: “I feel bad now, and I want someone to help me.” And if I specifically formulate: “Now I feel bad, and I want one of my friends to buy a kilogram of oranges, get on the train and come to me,” then I can at least understand whether it is worth asking someone about it , or enough to say a couple of kind words to me on the phone.

I remember once I had a bad heart, I called my son and said: “Just in case, I’m calling to say that I love you.” He replied, "I love you too." He hung up, then called back and said: “I love - this is understandable, but what are the instructions?”

When we communicate with friends, it is very important to translate expectations into desires, because it is difficult for another person to fulfill someone's expectations.

Expectation is something vague, but a desire can be fulfilled. If you translate your expectations into desires, communication becomes easier. This helps to strengthen friendship.

Friends are always offended more. But in general, resentment is not about friendship, it is such a lifestyle. There are always people who look like Milnov's donkey Eeyore: “No one will come to me, and if they come, then they just walked by. If they bring a gift, then they themselves were not needed.

There is such a thing - a "self-justifying forecast": we always highlight in life what we expected. “If only not in the mud, if only not in the mud!” - please, in the dirt. Expectations are confirmed over and over again and favorite sayings arise: “I told you so!”, “I knew it!”

Friends of such a person, in the end, just get used to the fact that he is like that, and that taking offense is his favorite game. By the way, if such “Eeyore donkeys” have a sense of humor, they can be good friends.

Friends are the second most important people after family in the life of every person. Some of them become even closer than relatives, and it is with them that they share the most secret secrets and experiences. However, unfortunately, not everyone has such friends and acquaintances. Some are unlucky to meet those who can open their souls and completely trust, while others themselves do not know how to find a common language and maintain relationships. It is difficult to understand how to learn to be friends with others if there is no true desire to open up for this.

It is not an easy task and constant work. After all, in order to have real friends yourself, you must be worthy of it. You can't just take and give nothing in return. In any relationship with other people, it is important to understand what exactly they need, to be able to listen. This is not only a guarantee that you will be surrounded by real friends who are ready to help, but you yourself will be able to call yourself a true comrade.

How to become a worthy friend

Some people have a lot of friends, or at least they seem to. They communicate with everyone, maintain relationships, etc. However, it is hardly possible to be friends with several dozen people; most likely, they are just friends or good acquaintances. It is not enough to go to a nightclub together or talk on the phone occasionally. In order to be close friends, you need a lot of time, patience and constant maintenance of relationships, finding common topics and “common ground”. There are no established norms on how to be friends, it is individual. But there are some simple and effective tips that will help build close relationships with other people and develop them:

• You need to meet with your friends constantly. Communication on the net and on the phone is also not bad, but they can hardly be compared with a live one. In a personal conversation, people share their innermost things more easily, and from this, relationships are strengthened and become closer. For meetings, you need to find any excuse: going to the store together, to the cinema, just for a walk. If you are constantly busy with things, it is worth setting aside a day when you must definitely meet with your buddies.
• Friends do not become fast, it takes time and a lot. Often you have to go through a lot to understand that someone is truly close.
• Every person is pleased when they talk about him or listen to what he tells about himself. Therefore, it is important to be able to listen calmly and support when needed.
• Know how to ask for forgiveness if you are wrong.

These are just some tips, but if you listen to them, you can learn how to make friends correctly. Of course, there are never exactly the same friendships, simply because all people are different and everyone needs a different approach. Therefore, each path to friendship will be different from the previous ones. With someone you will find a common language from the first minutes, and someone will become close years later. The most amazing thing about friendship is that it is impossible to predict after meeting with whom it will start.

It is also important to understand that not all people have the opportunity to make friends, no matter how much you want. There can be several reasons: differences in interests or values ​​in life, different temperaments, and so on. In this case, you should not be upset, you need to look for someone with whom you will feel comfortable, and friendship will not be a heavy burden for you.

Old or new: which friends are more valuable

Some value friends who have been with them since childhood or adolescence. They believe that these relationships are the most proven and closest. Others, on the contrary, think that new friends need to be made, since a person himself is constantly changing and his environment should also be different. This is a controversial question, and only the person who asks it can answer it.

Often, especially young people, do not understand how to be friends at a distance. They leave for another city, for example, to study, and there they find new friends, forgetting those who were close to them before. This can be explained by the fact that the situation, interests and environment are changing. Therefore, past relationships are moved to the background and eventually completely disappear. Friendship needs to be maintained constantly, it does not tolerate long breaks. This requires wisdom and a desire to maintain relationships.

And yet, is it worth it all the time to find new friends, while sacrificing old ones? Friendship with people can be stopped only in the only case if it is dead, if you no longer have anything in common and your paths have diverged so much that you do not find common topics for conversation. In addition, one cannot call close relationships those in which one humiliates or insults the other. This happens too. You can't stay in a relationship if you feel uncomfortable in it.

In all other cases, friendship must be maintained by all means. No matter how far apart you are, you can always show how dear a person is to you: call, suddenly come to visit for a short time, send a package or write a message. All this is not difficult and does not take much time, but it is so important for the development and maintenance of friendly relations. And it doesn’t matter if you know a person for several years or a couple of months. After all, true kinship is determined not only by blood ties.

Some also invite comrades to be godparents of their children or witnesses at a wedding, etc. to maintain friendship. This strengthens their connection with each other, and also increases the number of reasons for meeting. It often happens that the children of such families also become friends over time.

There are no limits in friendship, it can never be such that it is impossible to develop it even more, to become closer. It is important to be able to forgive yourself and admit your guilt. You need to learn to understand the feelings of others, sympathize with them and empathize. And perhaps the most necessary thing is to be transparent to another person, to be able to open your thoughts to him, trust him and believe in his sincerity.

P friend to friend like a mirror

M you and your girlfriend are so similar, one is sick, and the other is shell-shocked

T Don't be shy girlfriend... The guy quit, don't be sorry! We girls are cool… New ones will love us!!!

C marry those friends who, after long months of separation, will come up, hug and say: "Hi, Sun, I was very bad without you!"

D ve girlfriends: one is beautiful, the other is second.

H and nothing interferes with development and self-improvement as much as the opinions of envious girlfriends.

AND female deceit is when, advising a girl to overcome depression, her friends offer her to have several lovers at once, knowing full well that with her figure she can only thump with them.

P friend pretended to be a poor sheep, but turned out to be a real sheep ...

L The best friend is not the one who, when you break up with a guy, says: you will find a better one, but calls him and says: you will not find a better one.

***

I was normal. Honestly. Until I met this psycho who I call my best friend!!

H there is such nonsense that my friend and I would not have thought of ...

D you need to fight so that later your children will be friends.

M not a mother always said: than a girlfriend, a pillow is better ...

P went to pick up a drunk friend from the guests:
Now we are sitting, waiting to be picked up.

X a good friend drinks with you when you feel bad, and the best one keeps your hair in the toilet when you really feel bad

P a friend is a person who keeps half of the things from your wardrobe in his closet

T you're my friend... you and I are friends... you're such a fool - just like me.

***

L The best friend is the one who stands up for you! Then he will take you aside and say that you were wrong!

T Only a friend can come home, climb into your refrigerator, take ice cream and say: Will you?

WITH tell everyone that you're sick. Say you're broke. Say you've lost interest in life. Take a look around - those people who are still next to you are your real friends!

P friends came. Gone ... And then I noticed that a kilogram of sweets was gone.

P friend said: “All right! Now I'll sing!" And after all, she got drunk, an infection!

P a friend is when she tells the same thing for the 3rd time in a day, and you don’t interrupt, because you understand that this is important for her.

P odruga is a news service, a liquor store and a psychological support center.

L the best friend is the one with whom you dream that you will have a big house for 2 families, great husbands, 5 children each and a bunch of small dogs ...

L The best friend is a person who doesn’t even need to be told anything, she can see in her eyes that you’ve done an idiot ...

D You can't do too much for a devoted friend.

T Only with a real friend you can walk all day, say goodbye for half an hour, and then talk to her on your mobile all the way ...

L The best friend is the one after chatting with whom you constantly have to delete your message history...

WITH The most popular phrase when walking with friends: - Well, everything is quiet, otherwise people are coming!

P There are simply “friends” who daily write: “I love you, bunny,” and there are those who silently help you when you really need it.

L best friend is like a bra... close to my heart and always supportive

D you need to think with your head. Not "girlfriends"

P correspondence in contact with my best friend - compromising evidence about my whole life

G they say best friend is mom .. yeah tell her right now. Everything in the morning will already know the second girlfriend - Dad.

L the best friend is the one who forgets about her problems because she understands that yours are much more serious

At my girlfriend and I are perfect compatibility for many years of friendship.
In most cases, our tastes and views coincide with the exception of ... men.