When you get hit on the forehead with a different rake - this is an experience. When the same is the diagnosis. Although ... the bumps are exactly the same!

I do not step on the same rake. No, I'm jumping on them.
With a run and with all my heart ...

Everyone has their favorite "rake". And they shy away on the nose with enviable regularity. And for some reason they remain “invisible” until the return becomes so strong that it can no longer be ignored. The person seems to “wake up”, look around and finally “get it” that he again “stumbled” into the same situation that was a month or a year or two or three ago. And this is always a revelation for a person, accompanied by a depressed emotional state, feelings of guilt and shame, self-sniffing and reproaches against oneself.

But if you think about it, then these “rakes” always appear as a certain process, once consciously chosen and later simply implemented in different life situations.

Moreover, the more often implemented, the better remembered, smoothly turning into a habit.

And that's right, we start this process ourselves, CONSCIOUSLY making a decision, which then launches a chain of thoughts, actions, deeds, which further lead to undesirable results for us.

And this decision - whatever it may be - is always associated with the suppression of one's Ego, the rejection of one's interests and desires, and violent attempts to "justify" this refusal on a conscious level.

Often the "rake" is clearly manifested in some particular area of ​​​​life, for example, in love relationships, in relationships with money or people, and is ignored, or simply not perceived in other areas of life.

As it usually happens in life - “all men are goats”, “they threw me again with money”, “I am an eternal loser”, “everyone constantly rides me, sat on my neck”, “I work like an ox, but she doesn’t So".

And if you look and track all such situations, you can clearly see PROCESS depreciation of oneself, betrayal of oneself and one's interests, and, characteristically, this process will be different actors, scenery, nuances, but not its essence. Moreover, this process is always emotional and energetic and is connected with the ego.

And everyone can deal with their "rake" by simply thinking and decomposing this process into stages, naming the stages and tracking the feelings and emotions inherent in each stage.

I also have such “rakes” that are clearly manifested in one area of ​​my life, namely with work, and are implicitly present in other areas. When I caught this process and sorted it out, somehow everything immediately fell into place, and allowed me to change the situation.

So, the Rake process.

With the work did not work from my very first place of work "for my uncle." Since then, I have changed jobs more than once, and each time this change was quite painful for me. Every time I was looking for a new job, I had to explain it with external reasons, such as low salary or inconvenient schedule, sometimes I had to “attract” these very external causes, because the “psychological” nuances of my inner self-perception do not bother employers. Although in fact, I quickly reached the salary cap, I felt that my potential far exceeded the offered functionality, but I had to do boring routine work and keep quiet. Employers could not offer anything else, but I simply could not go out at work. Therefore, I explained the change of work with a low salary.

Although, in fact, the constant change of jobs is my "rake", because the emotional-energetic process (EEP) at each place of work proceeded the same way.

I once worked in a construction company, which at that time confidently entered the real estate market and developed at an accelerated pace at the city level. The director is adequate, the salary is good, the potential is in demand, the relations in the team are evenly indifferent, but without squabbles, intrigues and scandals, the company is developing, the schedule is normalized, in general everything is strictly according to the Labor Code of the Russian Federation without any frills. Sit down and rejoice (by the way, this is the only job that I still regret losing).

But it so happened that I met the director of another large enterprise, which was already known at the regional level. In the process of communication, he receives an offer to work in his enterprise in a pretty good position. A high salary is announced, a company car, compensation for cellular communications, training for an MBA degree, as well as various other “nishtyaks” are a bonus. In the "zero" years, these were very good conditions. Having succumbed to such a “profitable” offer, I decided that my ambitions would be more in demand in a new place, I quit the construction company and come to get a new job. The head office is in another city, but the branch in which I have to work is located in the city of my residence.

Emotionally - energy process is started, and already passed the first stage. For me, it is characterized by an interest in a new job, inflated expectations about salary, in the hope of showing my hitherto unclaimed qualities. It seems that in a new place you will certainly be able to realize your ambitions, move up the social ladder, build a career, earn all the money and become an indispensable employee. Then I called this stage - "The trumpet is calling." At this stage, the decision is made to get involved in the "battle". But this is not yet a "rake".

On the energy plane, there is a self-winding, a swinging of the pendulum of emotions and an exit from an even state. There are already expectations about the new work, there is an anticipation of how great and wonderful everything will be.

So, I come to get a new job, go through all the necessary procedures in the personnel department, and then they tell me, they say, I need to go to the utility block, get a padded jacket and felt boots .... WHAT?? What quilt? What boots? For what? To which they answer me that you will work in winter in unheated construction trailers, and in winter you can’t go anywhere without a padded jacket and felt boots. Yes, and the toilet is outside, no office, you, girl, didn’t you know?

Crap! What wagons? Felt boots? Vatnichek? Why am I hearing about this for the first time? They promised an office, a car, and MBA training, but no one said a word about working in the field with a windswept "Bodka" toilet outside. Emotions rage, complete confusion and misunderstanding of further actions. While I am conducting internal monologues with myself and the same director, in the warehouse they give me the same quilted jacket and felt boots. I take.

And this second stage of the EEP, let's call it "Kyachok". At this stage, the first discrepancy between reality and expectations occurs, accompanied by the first disappointment from reality.

Realizing that they didn’t even deceive me, but simply didn’t announce all the working conditions, I start FIND EXCUSES on a conscious level to everything that happens. Reasoning roughly in the spirit of: “What to do, what to do, what to do? I already quit there, and they won’t take it back, and how can I come and ask for it back? How will they look at me? There is some garbage here .. felt boots .. sheepskin coat ... and she promised to work for this, God forgive me, director, he is counting on me. And they promised a good salary, and already submitted all the documents. Now what? Go back, say that I changed my mind about getting a job? How then to return home? What will they tell me, what a fool, you didn’t sit at a good job, went I don’t know where?

Thoughts like frisky horses rush through the head, all the pluses and minuses are weighed, and, despite the internal resistance, a decision is made - since I arrived at a new job - to work, despite all the "buts". That is, despite the "Junk", the internal resistance, which is simply no longer taken into account, the discrepancy between reality and the promises of the leadership, I decide to work at a new job. This is the third stage of the EEP- call him "Forward, regardless of..."

On the energy plane, at that moment there was a betrayal of my Ego, my interests, to adjust to circumstances that were unfavorable for me, to “muzzle” my inner voice, which told me that if everything starts like this, it will not end with anything good. This is always a very energy-intensive process that requires colossal energy investments, because no one has yet been able to betray one's Self without consequences. But I dismissed all this as irrelevant, and my Ego did not “forgive” me for this.

Actually, from this decision, the “Rake” process itself is launched. Everything that happened before that was acceleration, prelude.

So, all my fears about a new job, formed on the first day in a new place, are slowly beginning to be justified. I really had to work in a cold construction trailer, the enterprise turned out to have an extensive system of fines, which, of course, no one told me about, the work was associated with a traveling nature, but they did not provide a company car, so I had to go to clients by public transport. Studying was paid for not just like that, but with the signing of an agreement that I undertake to either work at the enterprise for many years or pay for it in case of dismissal. In general, many conditions and requirements for work at the stage of the device were hushed up, not voiced, and this was a normal practice for this organization.

But, despite all this, I worked conscientiously, put a lot of strength and energy into my work, everything was interesting to me, I wanted to learn and achieve, fulfill indicators and plans, communicate with clients and get new ones, I am proud of my successes, receive adequate compensation for this. salary and live in peace with yourself. And she worked, and attracted, and traveled by public transport for clients. And all this within the framework of irregular working hours.

Meanwhile, the company was grinding the employee (that is, me) for themselves. There was a stage the fourth stage - "Shoals".

Salary fines began for an unfulfilled plan, “studying” me on the “carpet” with the boss, salary delays, and then its reduction. My dissatisfaction with working conditions grew, the lack of clear prospects for getting a car for trips to clients. Customers constantly complained about the quality of products and their price, pouring out all their emotions on me. The management preferred not to hear the employees, not to pay attention to proposals for improving working conditions and product quality.

Every working day became a source of negativity and dissatisfaction with oneself and the world around.

So the world compensated me for the aggression accumulated in me in relation to this work. My Ego stubbornly “told” me that if there is discontent and irritation, negativity and anger, any negative feelings and emotions, the source of this must be removed. But I resisted just as stubbornly, again and again finding excuses for my being at this place of work. And the world just as stubbornly "punished" me.

All this caused repeated aggression, which immediately "flew" back to me, such is the cycle of aggression in nature. Every day I wanted to go to work less and less.

This - sixth stage of EEP "Rake" - "Rebel"."Rebel" is a part of the process with the characteristics: indignation, struggle, militancy, resistance, rebuff, anger, hatred. This is a reaction to blows from outside. An outburst of energy, rather negative, on "injustice."

About a year later, I realized that I could no longer resist the pressure of management, the constant negativity from customers who present me with all their claims, for which I cannot be responsible, because I sell the product, but do not produce it, constant salary delays and in general, the complete discrepancy between the declared and the real. Tired of the sugary speeches of the authorities that we are a “team”, that “we have a mission” and we must bring “light” to clients. Tired of the high requirements for the sales plan, with the low quality of the product, of the whole moral and psychological situation in general.

The "Loser" stage is coming - the seventh stage of the EEP, which always proceeds the same for me. I again make the wrong decision - to surrender in the "battle". My “Fighter”, indignant and waving sticks, simply surrenders in the “battle”. It’s easier and easier for me, by this stage I’m so mentally and physically tired that it’s less energetically costly for me to simply surrender to the mercy of the “winner”. There is an outflow of energy, the stage is characterized by emptiness, a feeling of uselessness, abandonment, a feeling that I was used, resentment and a sense of injustice. How can it be, I put so much effort and energy into this work, I tried to make my clients and bosses happy, hunchbacked in the evenings and weekends, and as a result I get a small salary, constant hassle, an inadequate boss, wild fatigue and irritation.

There is a constant outflow of energy, there is no pleasure from work, the Ego rebels, demanding to urgently remove this situation, common sense tries to “put on the true path”, arguing in favor of “be patient, everything will settle down”. All this is transformed into the eighth stage of the EEP is "Dohlyak". I have no strength for anything, apathy, dead end, loneliness, emptiness, relatives do not understand, attributing everything to my "nasty character". And you can’t explain that this is all just a consequence of the betrayal of your Ego, the rejection of your interests. How then could not explain why she suddenly changed her mind about getting a job promising work with a car, a good salary and an MBA study. Although I already understand now that all my “frills” would be written off anyway as “my difficult character”.

On the emotional-energetic level - burnout, self-sabotage, now the absence of all sorts of arguments "for" this work.

The next, ninth, stage is "Death"- I live like a robot, mechanically, nothing pleases me, there is no one who makes decisions. The whole "leaked" at the stage "Loser" and "Dead". So some time passes and at the same stage, energy slowly begins to recover. There are forces to make a decision to dismiss, as the only way out of an oppressive situation. I quit.

The tenth stage of the EEP is "Self-healing". Sometimes this period falls already at a new place of work, sometimes between, but it goes quite quickly, and is characterized by the restoration of energy and a taste for life.

Dance with a rake we dance without rehearsals - V. Gubarev

And this “rake” process is different for everyone, and the stages can be different, and named differently.

But the emotional-energetic process of the "Rake" proceeds in the same way for everyone.

1. There is always some kind of “bait”, a deep root cause, an unmet need that provokes the first stage of this process.

The desire to be loved, in demand, needed, necessary. The desire to start a family, to get some thing, to be the first in the chosen field, to satisfy the need for security, and so on - this is the root cause. Look for it and you will see that every time this reason is the same.

2. A decision is made that is contrary to the interests of the ego and the person himself.

To agree to unacceptable working conditions, to humiliate and insult a loved one, to a relationship that does not bring joy - this is the solution. And also in the hope that if you are a “good boy / girl”, then everything will be as it should.

3. A person, despite all the negative emotions and "warnings", finds "justifications" for this.

So a woman can always find excuses for a man who raises his hand or drinks or sits on her neck until the Ego finds a way to eliminate this humiliating situation. So it turns out "all men are goats."

This is how a man finds an excuse for his inner licentiousness, his inability to make decisions and bear responsibility for them, and most importantly, his unwillingness to change, so it’s easier and easier to say “I’m a loser, I’m unlucky in life.”

4. Thoughts, feelings and emotions are subject to this decision. The world begins to reflect your inner resistance to this decision, which was made against the interests of the Ego.

Usually all this is accompanied by negative emotions, hassle, depressed mood, aggression.

5. By volitional efforts, a person “justifies” this decision, pushing the arguments of the inner voice to hell.

But since the Ego is always on the side of a person, the negative from this decision becomes more and more. The goal of the ego is to remove a traumatic situation. In my case, it is to remove the work in which I only lose strength and energy, without receiving an adequate return (not necessarily material in the form of a salary).

6. As soon as the Ego achieves this, through external situations and other people, the person climbs into the same situation again.

Because it is familiar and familiar. And unfamiliar and unusual - it's scary. And scary no one loves.

This is how people get their permanent "Favorite Rake".

In general, awareness of this process and putting it on the shelves already gives a huge advantage. So this process can and should be controlled. Which will ultimately allow you to remove this process from life.

There are two options to "get off" from your favorite "Rake":

1. Change the basic characteristics of the personality, becoming a lucky and winner from a victim and a loser.

The problem here is that, as a rule, the “Rake” process is a very familiar process that proceeds according to already known laws, energetically understandable and, by and large, not fraught with danger. A person, having once gone through this process, and without dying, will go through it again and again. It is already written on the subcortex that this does not threaten death (I do not take borderline cases here). The basic characteristics are basic because you can’t change them so easily, although if you set a goal, everything is possible.

2. Change the stages of the process, preferably the initial ones, catching the moment that here they are - “Favorite Rakes”

As soon as the Ego starts to rage, as soon as you understand that you are forced to go against your interests, that someone else’s will is being imposed on you, you need to stop and think about what you don’t like in a particular situation. Do not react in the way you have already learned, do not get involved again in the “Rake” process, but think about how to turn the situation in your direction, or even get out of it at the initial stage.

Usually people run OT. I was running FROM misunderstanding of my place and role in the organization, FROM low wages, FROM the cardinal inconsistency with reality and the speeches of the authorities.

Understand what you are running from. A woman can run FROM loneliness, from a feeling of unattractiveness, from a lack of love and tenderness, and she runs to a man, anyone who is ready to spend time with her, and whose antics she meekly endures.

Many run FROM lack of demand at work and in life, FROM feelings of dissatisfaction with themselves, FROM emptiness and loneliness, FROM the lack of something. And this flight from OT leads to the miraculous “Rake”, which a person will not put aside and which hit and hit him on the forehead. In the hope that he will finally come to his senses and stop pushing his true interests into the background, but will listen to himself, not trying to find "excuses" for other people.

If you catch and decompose this process into stages once, you will see that not only in one area you constantly step on them, but in others too.

And constantly run, run OT. From lack of love, attention, money, health, motivation, strength.

And you need to run.

Run To money, love, health, hobbies, travel, wealth, whatever you want. But this is a completely different emotional-energetic process.

Agree, we often make the same mistakes in life, in other words, we step on the same rake. The amazing thing is that each person does it in their own way. Astrologers say that a person makes all the mistakes and mistakes as dictated by his Zodiac Sign. Is it true? Let's test this hypothesis in a comic horoscope!

Aries

Aries will step on a rake, realize that he made a mistake and break them in a fit of rage. However, in the process, he will receive another 10 on the head with them.

Taurus

Taurus is a stubborn nature. According to the comic horoscope, this Zodiac Sign is simply a champion in rake walking. The true Taurus will step on the rake until they break. Although, when they break, Taurus can buy another one and start all over again.

Twins

The twins simply need to try all the rakes, only after that they will understand what they want and in which direction they need to move. Experience for Gemini comes not with years, but with the number of rakes in their lives.

Cancer

According to the comic horoscope according to the Sign of the Zodiac, Cancer cannot do without a rake. He will constantly step on them, but this is what will give him strength. Only by making a mistake, Cancer will understand what he really needs from life.

a lion

Leo is optimistic about stepping on the same rake a couple more times. The representative of this Sign does not just step on a rake, he cheerfully jumps on them, while waving his hands to his friends and calling them to join.

Virgo

Virgo steps on the rake carefully, trying to calculate the force of impact and the degree of pain caused. Virgo believes that it is possible to step on the same rake if you correctly predict and plan everything.

Scales

Libra will long and stubbornly avoid meeting with a rake. They will begin to doubt, think for a long time and calculate the moves, but when they make a decision, they will definitely step on the biggest and sharpest rake.

Scorpion

Scorpio steps on a rake and is not afraid of it. And all because the representative of this Zodiac Sign simply does not notice anything! And if he notices, then he won’t even think about the fact that this still happened.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius does not teach life at all. If Sagittarius steps on a rake and realizes that he made a big mistake, then this will not stop him from reaching his goal. After a while, he will decide to step on the same rake again.

Capricorn

Capricorn, stepping on a rake, behaves very strangely: he analyzes, thinks and estimates for a long time. But in the end he will understand that it is not worth his thoughts and will forget his oversight, which in the end will again push him to the mistake.

Aquarius

According to the comic horoscope, Aquarius is very good at gardening tools. He will step on the most attractive and original, in his opinion, rake and will be proud that no one else but him has thought of doing this.

Fish

If Pisces steps on a rake at least once, then they will remember and regret it all their lives. Until a very old age, Pisces will keep already rusty, but still quite usable rakes in their closet and sigh heavily, looking at them.

We hope this humorous zodiac sign horoscope made you smile! We wish you good luck and don't forget to press and

13.03.2014 12:40

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Aries

Aries steps on a rake every time unexpectedly for himself. Well, the lawn was clean, for sure! And suddenly - khryas! This angers Aries so much that he gives the rake three kicks, then picks it up, scrutinizes it, and destroys it violently to avoid re-contact. In this process, there are three more rakes. With the same consequences.

Taurus

Taurus steps on the rake carefully, having previously studied the trajectory of the handle and made a supply of bandages. Having received on the forehead, he states with satisfaction: everything is exactly as he expected. He repeats the experiment one hundred and three times, fixes the stability of the result and notes with satisfaction that the rake did break. Looking for the next.

Twins

Twins don't walk on rakes. They dance on them, and so elegantly and professionally that, at first, those around them have a desire to close their eyes, because now ... but no, with elegant movements, the Twins move from one rake to another, managing to remain unharmed. Talent.

Cancer goes to the rake with an open visor and in full confidence that he will give them a powerful rebuff. Raking on the forehead, Cancer takes the fight and hits the rake in response until they are left as miserable dust. Having defeated one rake, Cancer is inspired and begins to actively look for the next one to consolidate the skill of defeating the rake. Sometimes rakes get scared and hide. But rarely.

The lion jumps merrily on a rake, inviting everyone to join in the exciting fun. If Leo sees how friends and acquaintances get hit on the forehead, he is sincerely surprised what prevented them from jumping higher with feline grace? A rake that accidentally hits Leo usually falls on Aries or Taurus. Someone has to break them, after all.

Virgo

Virgo approaches the rake from the side and examines them carefully. He touches his foot, sits down next to the notebook and begins to calculate the flight path of the pen. Then he throws some Aquarius on the rake, what will happen to him, and checks the calculations. Making sure everything is correct, with a light heart walks off to tell everyone how stupid your rake is. And what idiots all those who step on them.

Scales

Libra long and thoughtfully study the manuscript "how to avoid meeting with a rake", buy night vision devices, binoculars and a rifle with a telescopic sight. Stepping slowly across the lawn, Libra carefully examines the route centimeter by centimeter, and two steps from the finish line, they step on the heftiest rake that lay in plain sight and looked, well, absolutely not like a rake. More like a hoe. Or forks. In the manuscript about this, in general, it was not.

Scorpion

Scorpio steps on a rake consciously. He is convinced that until you step on a rake, you will not have any life experience, and you need to learn from your mistakes. Hryas. Hryas. Hryas. Cone. Cone. Cone. Okay, we need to get a helmet, hard hat, painkillers and wine, note. The idea to get around the rake of Scorpio will never come, but traumatization due to high-quality training will be minimal.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius steps on a rake doomedly, because everyone steps on a rake. And so, this is how the world works. Having passed through the forest of pens flying at the head, having pierced the legs with teeth, Sagittarius will sit down in a cozy bar and drag out the Tale of Walking on the Rake. Summary: Sagittarius walked and left, albeit without one eye, and you still have to go and go.

Capricorn

Having received a rake between the eyes, Capricorn becomes numb. What was it? No, he heard about the rake, and that some individuals… But like this, without declaring war? Can't be. Therefore, Capricorn will quietly crawl to the side, come up with a plausible explanation for the fact that he has a bump and a hematoma on his forehead, but he will never admit that it was THEY.

Aquarius

Aquarius will see the rake from afar and pretty quickly come to the conclusion that stepping on the rake is indispensable. He will choose the most elegant way to do this, consider different rake formations and step on them so masterfully that the Virgin will gently rub her hands: that's who you need to train on.

Fish

The fish stepped on the rake a long time ago. Don't ask. A long time ago. Yes, everything has already healed, but mental trauma! Therefore, Pisces will not go anywhere. There are robberies. Everywhere. No, do not persuade, go yourself and bring everything you need. Zahar, Zahaaaaar!

Stop dancing on the rake! We love to step on a rake, about which we ourselves and millions of other people have already bruised their foreheads. It's time to be a little far-sighted and think a few steps ahead. What will you regret in a year, in five years, or before you die?

Stop fooling around and making bitter mistakes. How to improve your life today, so that in a year, five years or on your deathbed you will not regret missed opportunities and mistakes made?

Save a hopeless relationship

The rake of relationships and love is the most beloved by people. Trying to save a relationship that is falling apart at the seams? Trying to fix a broken mug? Do you think you can stop noticing the gap between you? Are you thinking of forgiving indifference or betrayal? Do you tolerate unsuccessful relationships, constant brain drain, jealousy, whims, manipulation and moral pressure? Sometimes cutting the Gordian knot is much better. Break up now, and not in five years, when these relationships completely tire you out, when you have to share an apartment, pay elements, share children and suffer. Break up now while you're young and still ahead.

Go to a job you hate

You can spend your whole life complaining about an unloved and low-paid job. But these rakes are easy to avoid if you decide to change everything. Get new knowledge and find your dream job. Nobody says it will be easy. But whining and going to a job you hate every day is much worse. Try to understand what you want to do and move forward.

Pay no attention to health

It's stupid to eat fast food, follow bad habits, do not monitor your health and avoid doctors. Being fat or frail all your life is disgusting. Go in for sports healthy lifestyle life and take care of yourself. Spend your way to a beautiful, athletic and healthy body. You will never regret it.

suffer forever

The rake of suffering can hit a stupid forehead for years. Suffering from past relationships, lost friends and missed opportunities? Are you tired of feeling sorry for yourself? Stop being a rag and deliberately spoil your life with stupid experiences. It is normal to suffer some time. But stupid experiences for more than a couple of months indicate weakness and lack of masculinity. I've been worried and that's enough. It's time to go ahead. How much can you wipe away tears and hang snot? Learn to get up off your knees and move on.

To work a lot

Not a single person before his death regretted that he did not work enough. Everyone regretted that they traveled little, loved little, rested little, communicated little with friends and friends. Life is like traveling by car around the world, where gasoline is money. But this is not a path from gas station to gas station. Find time for yourself, relaxation and loved ones.

Don't risk

This is the most offensive rake. We have stopped taking risks and prefer safe havens. We are afraid to love, to trust, to try, to leave for other countries, to change the field of activity. We do not take risks and miss the sea of ​​​​wonderful opportunities. We have grown old and turned into boring old people ahead of time. Youth is given for exploration, travel, risk, adrenaline and love. Take risks and don't be afraid. Be afraid later to regret your cowardice and indecision.

And what is your favorite rake?

DON'T STEP ON THE SAME RAKE! STEP ON OTHERS!

If I had a chance to live again, I would make the same mistakes, but faster.

Tallulah Bankhead

In this book, I will not describe in detail how to behave with guys. I already have books on this topic, besides, I am finishing the encyclopedia “A Girl Becomes a Woman”, where everything will be described in detail: how to get to know each other, how to attract, captivate and keep, how to part with virginity, how to build psychological and sexual relationships , and in general - how to become a screenwriter of your own life. And here I want to bring to your attention the opinion of the representative of the stronger sex. When he found out that I was writing a book for girls, he sent me this letter, in which the main mistakes of the weaker sex are briefly and clearly noted. Here is the letter: Hello Dilya Derdovna! I consider it my duty to say about a few "rakes", from the point of view of a guy, which, oddly enough, most girls step on. I called precisely on this occasion, afraid to forget to write. The first rake is an attempt to remain silent or lie in response to, perhaps, unpleasant questions. Almost all men regard this as insincerity and disrespect for them personally. Moreover, the more decent (in my understanding) the guy, the more it annoys him. A direct answer is much more respected by men and do not be afraid to give it. Moreover, it just guarantees respect. Moreover, there is almost nothing secret that after a while will not become apparent. Therefore, there is no need to be shy to directly tell men what is needed from them. Normal people will understand, and even more so they will not be offended ... But a normal, delicate form can always be found even for the most unpleasant things. In an extreme case, you can say, for example, "I'm sorry, it's so unpleasant for me that I don't want to stir it up ..." Or, if there really are no feelings, who bothers to hint directly so that the guy does not bother her? Indeed, in fact, this is not “delicacy”, this is precisely a lack of respect ... The second rake is resourcefulness, such as “I didn’t say this”, “you came up with it”, “it seemed to you”. Again, this is repulsive, and just the most adult and responsible. Why do you need a rag? The third rake is a misunderstanding that if a guy does not call every 10 minutes, this does not mean at all that he does not have tender feelings. Simple, it would seem, "on duty" praise, a postcard, or even just a look from another person means much more than hours of flattery and idle chatter from idlers. And most, in principle, not bad, girls simply do not want to understand this ... The fourth rake is a misunderstanding that any real guy, except for a girl, also has a Cause to which he devotes a lot of effort and which is significant for him - after all, this is - in fact what nature creates so many men for. Disrespect for the business that a man is engaged in practically guarantees damage to relationships. The fifth rake is the immoderate use of euphemisms, such as "I gave you, and you ...". Again, a guy with self-esteem will think to himself: "What is it, she thinks that she gave me alms, but I'm a fool, I imagined that they sincerely love me." Another stupid expression - "fuck." True, I have nothing to offer in return, except perhaps a "holiday of the body." The literary Russian is poor in this part ... I myself witnessed the collapse of relations with my friend, a very decent guy. And precisely because of all these (and a bunch of others, but he is to blame) "rake". Best regards,

Women are just as capable of making mistakes. Lawrence Peter

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