Can one child in the family. The only child in the family

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 8 minutes

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According to statistics, the birth rate has not only not risen in recent years, but has even declined significantly. On the scale of a huge country, this is not so noticeable, but two (and even more so three or more) children appear in families less and less. What number of children is considered optimal in our time? What do psychologists say about this?

Family without children - what is the reason for the decision of modern couples not to have children?

Why do married couples give up parenthood? Voluntary childlessness may be due to many reasons. The main ones are:

The unwillingness of one of the spouses have children.
Lack of sufficient financial resources to ensure a normal life for the child.
The desire to live for yourself.
Housing problem.
Career - Lack of time for raising children. Read:
Lack of maternal instinct.
Psychological trauma in childhood, suffering suffered at a young age, which later develop into a fear of motherhood (fatherhood).
Unstable and unfavorable environment in the country to have children.

A family with one child - the pros and cons of such a family model

Oddly enough, it is not at all a career and not even a lack of finances that today become the reason that families stop at one baby. The key reason for "small children" is the desire to devote more time to the child and give him, his beloved, all the best. And, besides, to save him from the jealousy of his sisters-brothers - that is, to give all his love only to him.

What are the advantages of a family with only one child?

The outlook of the only child in the family is wider than that of peers from large families.
Higher level of intelligence development.
All the impulses of parents (upbringing, attention, development, education) are directed to one baby.
The child receives in the optimal size everything that is required for his growth, development and, of course, a good mood.

There are many more cons:

It is more difficult for a child to join a children's team. For example, at home he is used to the fact that no one will offend him, push him, or deceive him. And in the team, children in the game are quite aggressive.
A growing child is under considerable pressure from parents who dream that he will justify their hopes and invested efforts. Which often causes serious psychological problems in a child.
A child is more likely to grow up as an egoist - from childhood he gets used to the fact that the world should revolve only around him.
The child does not have an orientation towards leadership and achievement of goals that is available in a large family.
Due to increased attention, the child often grows spoiled.
The manifestation of hyper-custody, characteristic of the parents of one baby, generates and strengthens children's fears. A child can grow up dependent, incapable of decisive action, not independent.

Family with two children - advantages of a family with two children; Should I have a second child?

Not everyone can decide on a second baby. This is usually hindered by memories of childbirth and pregnancy, difficulties with raising the first child, the just “settled down” issue with work, fear - “will we pull the second one?” etc. The thought - “whether to continue ...” - arises among those parents who have already appreciated the experience of having their first child and realized that they want to continue.

But what matters is not only the desire to continue, but also age difference in children, on which a lot depends.

Difference of 1-2 years - features

In most cases, children become friends.
It is interesting for them to play together, toys can be bought for two at once, and things from the elder immediately pass to the younger.
Jealousy is practically absent, because the elder simply did not have time to feel his exclusivity.
Mom, whose strength has not yet been replenished after the first birth, is very tired.
Children are very violent in finding out their relationship. Especially, from the moment when the younger one begins to "destroy" the space of the older one.

Difference of 4-6 years - features

Mom managed to take a break from pregnancy, diapers and night feedings.
Parents already have a solid experience of communication with the child.
The younger child can learn all the skills from the older child, so that the development of the younger one is faster.
The elder no longer requires such serious attention and help from parents. In addition, he himself helps his mother by entertaining the younger.
Relationships among growing children follow the scheme - "boss / subordinate". Often they are openly hostile.
Things and toys for the child have to be bought again (usually by this time everything has already been distributed or thrown away so that it does not take up space).
Jealousy of the elder is a frequent and painful phenomenon. He has already become accustomed to his "uniqueness".

Difference of 8-12 years - features

There is still time before the teenage crisis of the older.
The elder has fewer reasons for jealousy - he already lives for the most part outside the family (friends, school).
The elder is able to become a significant support and help to the mother - he is able not only to entertain, but also to stay with the child when parents need, for example, to urgently leave on business.
Of the minuses: with a strong infringement of the elder in attention, you can lose with him that connection of mutual understanding and closeness that was before the birth of the youngest.

A family of three or more children - the optimal number of children in a family or the stereotype "we breed poverty"?

Opponents big family no more than its supporters. Although both of them understand that three or more kids in a family is hard work without holidays and weekends.

The undoubted advantages of a large family include:

Lack of parental overprotection - that is, early development independence.
The absence of problems in communication of children with peers. Children already at home receive the first experience of "infusion into society."
Parents do not pressure their children to "justify expectations."
Availability of benefits from the state.
Lack of selfish traits in children, the habit of sharing.

Difficulties of a large family

It will take quite a lot of effort to resolve children's conflicts and maintain order in relationships and at home.
Impressive funds are needed to clothe/shoe children, feed them, provide proper medical care and education.
Mom will be very tired - she has three times as many worries.
Mom will have to forget about her career.
The jealousy of children is a constant companion of the mother. Children will fight for her attention.
Lack of silence and tranquility even when you want to hide for 15 minutes and take a break from worries.

According to psychologists, it is necessary to give birth to children without regard to stereotypes, other people's advice and the opinion of relatives. Only a self-chosen path will be correct and happy. But to overcome all the difficulties of parenthood is possible only when the choice was mature and conscious. It is clear that the desire to give birth to 8 children while living in a communal apartment and without a decent income is not supported by sufficient grounds. The “minimum” program, according to experts, is two kids. As for more children, it is necessary rely on your strength, time and opportunities.

For some, a second pregnancy is desirable and expected, and someone, as one friend of mine (who already had one child) put it: “I walked around with the ringing of bells in my head for several days.”

One way or another, having experienced the first emotions, do you wonder what to do next? Second child: easier or harder? I hope that abortion in any case will not be a way out for you. And therefore, you will have to prepare again for life metamorphoses, only now taking into account the presence of the firstborn.

A site for moms site will tell you what to expect from a second pregnancy and what you should pay special attention to.

Second child: pros and cons

Firstly, during the second pregnancy, mom (and dad too) is calmer about everything that happens, since there is no longer a novelty that was with the firstborn. And this is not bad at all: there is no fear of the unknown; a woman, as a mother, has already taken place.

Secondly, the first child helps mom to get distracted, and in the daily bustle, the time of pregnancy runs faster.

Thirdly, the birth itself is more fleeting and, as a rule, is easier.

Of the difficulties of the second pregnancy, one can name a more pronounced toxicosis, since not always the mother will have an extra hour to lie down, relax, recover. And toxicosis, as you know, does not like fuss.

How to prepare for the arrival of a second baby in your home? Our advice

1. It's time to pay increased attention to the independence of the first child and deal with the elimination of "weak spots". Let him master and consolidate in practice useful skills that will greatly simplify your life.

Does he know how to dress himself, tie his shoelaces? What about potty training on your own? These skills should be dealt with especially, because soon you will not be up to it. Does the baby know how to play calm, not noisy games? Teaching a child to be silent is also extremely important.

2. If you are still breastfeeding your first baby, decide if you will continue breastfeeding until birth, so that you can feed both of you later, or is it time to wean your first child?

If you choose the second option, then do it in the first half of pregnancy , otherwise the child may associate weaning with the appearance of a brother / sister on the horizon, which will be associated with negative emotions.

Yes, and any changes in the family regime should be carried out in advance.

For example, kindergarten. Do not start accustoming your child to kindergarten when there is nothing left before the birth. In order, again, not to combine the child's stress about the kindergarten with the appearance of a "competitor". Or moving from mother's bed to a separate "mink" - all these subtleties are best done in advance.

3. It is certainly worth preparing the first child for a family replenishment, but it is better to do this when the belly is already visible. So it will be easier for the baby to accept when everything is almost before his eyes. In addition, it is difficult for children to wait and imagine how all this will be until there are no noticeable changes.

4. You should also consider in advance all force majeure circumstances. If, God forbid, you need early hospitalization, with whom will the first-born be left? Are there reliable people who can temporarily look after him? Or is there a trusted nanny in mind, at least for a week? Well, if they are already familiar with the baby and spent time together, then the unexpected mother's absence will not be psychologically traumatic for him.

5. Pay First Child Attention to Young Children - how they play, eat, try to pronounce their first words and express emotions. Show him his childhood photos, films, pictures from magazines.

6. Teach your child not only to take, but also to share your care, love, mercy. Maybe you have small animals at home? Does the child know how to take care of them: walk, treat, feed, bathe, clean the cage, or is it exclusively the prerogative of the parents?

If he has such skills of caring for defenseless creatures, the chance of a responsible and kind attitude towards the appearance of a baby increases markedly. Teach, teach and once again teach the child to give, to open your heart to the weak! It would be nice to go with him to a shelter for homeless animals and bring humanitarian aid, even if it is very small. There can be a lot of options for “development of kindness” here, and it all depends on how ready you are to help.

7. Last but not least. If, upon discharge from the hospital, you will be met by family, relatives and your, now the eldest child, don't forget about him. Hug him and tell him how you missed him all the days of being in the hospital.

Your family and friends will certainly congratulate you on your new addition. Ask, if possible, of course, that they do not forget about the first baby. Let them pay attention to him on this day, delighting him with small amenities, toys and gifts.

This is the first step to avoid possible future jealousy and resentment of the child for the lack of constant attention to which he is used to.

Of course, these are just the most general tips and there are many pitfalls ahead in the relationship between older and younger children. Children's jealousy deserves a separate discussion. How to ensure that sisters and brothers are not only relatives, but also friends? How to make sure that there are no quarrels and even fights in subsequent years of living under one roof? We will tell you about all this in the next part of ours.

First and second child: mother's reaction

And finally, a few funny examples of how our attitude towards children changes with experience.

How does mom change diapers?

First child every hour, whether dry or not.
Second child every few hours if needed.

What does a mother do if a nipple falls to the ground while walking?

First child. He immediately puts it in his pocket and boils it when he comes home.
Second child. Turning it over in his hands, he rinses it with juice from a jar and sets it in place.

How does mom behave with the nanny?

First child. Calls home every hour to find out what and how.
Second child. Leaving the house, she discovers that she forgot to leave her phone number to the nanny.

Being the only object of parental care and love is both an honorable and rather difficult test for a baby. He gets used to privileges, likes to be constantly in the spotlight. However, adults need to strive to ensure that this isolated position does not bring him problems in the future. And here much will depend on the characteristics of upbringing and parental wisdom.

The presence of one child in a Russian family was a rarity a hundred years ago, but now it is a common thing. According to statistics, approximately 60-65% of families in Russia that have kids are families with an only child. Women in our time decide to give birth to their first children later and later, so the main obstacle to the appearance of second children is age. Continuing a career, an insufficiently high standard of living and other negative aspects often lead to the fact that having two or more kids becomes an unaffordable luxury.

In any case, the number of children is a personal decision of the spouses. If you are still not sure whether to give your unique child younger brother or sister, let's try to clarify what are the pros and cons of such a common phenomenon in modern Russia as "the only baby in the family."

pros

Parents can satisfy all the needs of their beloved child. Any toys, expensive entertainment, clothes for every taste and color - absolutely everything that the baby wants, mom and dad strive to put into practice. Also, an only child has a much greater chance of getting a good education, because studying at a prestigious university costs a lot of money.
It is believed that a baby growing up without sisters and brothers is usually more developed than their peers. A rather controversial point, but there are reasons for such an opinion. In the case of raising one child, parents immediately notice all his talents and creative inclinations. If he draws well, then he is enrolled in a drawing circle, if he has a hearing and voice - in a music school. Usually, parents support and encourage any hobby of an only child, whether it is the desire to play sports or collecting rare and expensive cars.
Due to the special position in the house, the baby receives a lot of attention, care and affection from the parents. And if you add grandparents on both sides, then such children simply "bath" in love. Experts, noting the advantages of such treatment, consider the only child in the family to be more stable emotionally. After all, he does not know the excitement and anxiety that are associated with constant competition for the attention of adults.

Perhaps there are other arguments in favor of an only child, but all of them, rest assured, will come down to the conveniences, first of all, of the parents. Yes, it's easier with one baby. And when he grows up, few mothers and fathers will risk re-plunging into the worries associated with the baby.

Minuses

Children who enjoy the love and care of their parents undividedly run the risk of growing up as "inveterate" egoists. Sometimes they don’t even realize that it is necessary to make compromises, share with someone and sacrifice their own interests. Therefore, these children often have problems with adaptation to educational institutions when they realize that they are not the most important, unlike at home.
Perhaps the most important disadvantage for such a baby is the limitation in children's communication. Many parents are afraid to let their child walk alone in the yard, and some also do not want to invite other children to visit. So often the only interlocutors and playmates are the TV and adults.
Sometimes such children strive for excellence in all activities, wanting to please mom and dad, who set excessive and unrealistic demands. Being a perfectionist, the only child gets very frustrated if he doesn't excel in school or sports.
Some parents tend to surround their treasure with excessive attention, turning into overprotectiveness. If the baby gets sick, after a few minutes, medical luminaries gather at his crib. Something did not work out in school - mom and dad go to help. The child no longer wants to make efforts to achieve the desired result.

Of course, there are many examples that such a child does not have any special behavioral problems, easily strikes up friendly relationships with peers and grows up to be a wonderful person in all respects. It all depends on the right tactics of education and family values.

How to raise an only child in the family?

Do not try to grow out of it an extension of yourself. Let the baby find his own way of development, have personal preferences and do what he likes.

In some situations, it is simply necessary to say such important words as “no” and “no”. No one wants dusty toys that no one plays with. Teach your child to appreciate what he has.

Don't try to fix his mistakes. If a child quarreled with a friend, received an unsatisfactory grade, did not clean his room, do not rush to redo it for him. The ability to solve their own problems will be useful to him in adulthood.

Expand your baby's social circle. Involve him in a busy social life (sports and creative circles) so that he does not get bored by playing only computer games and watching children on TV. Visit playgrounds (other than kindergarten) where he can easily communicate with peers. If you have friends with children of the same age, organize Sunday play sessions.

Teach him how to deal with disappointments and failures. If the kid did not get the main role in children's matinee, his team lost the competition, or he came "only" second in the competition, teach him how to deal with disappointment. Explain that he did everything possible and even impossible.

There are many reasons why couples decide to have only one baby. However loving mom with dad, they can raise an only child as a well-mannered and intelligent person. Therefore, I would like to remind once again that the most important thing for the development of children is not the presence of brothers and sisters, but reasonable and affectionate parents.

Families are complete and incomplete, one-child and two-child, nuclear and three-generation, based on the remarriage of a parent ... Today, let's look at the features of raising an only child in a complete two-generation (nuclear) family, consisting of a father, mother and child.

What are the pros and cons

One-child families have dominated Russian life (especially in big cities) for several decades now. Of course, only children can count on more attention and care, adoration, compliance and love. Parents can be closer to the child, actively develop his abilities and natural inclinations, take him to art studios, creative and sports centers, teach his only language ... But the temptation to “go too far” in terms of love and care is also great. According to experts, in a one-child family, the cult of the child is more often observed, when the whole life of adults is concentrated around a single “treasure”, and in families with only children, the mistakes and mistakes of parents leave a brighter mark on their personality.

Problems of an only child in a family

Here the child is trying to do something on his own - but help is already coming, there will always be someone who will save " little lord» from labors. Here is your only one trying to sort things out with a peer on the playground - they would have agreed, but adults are already in a hurry to help. Often, parents of only children do not allow them to make decisions and realize their intentions - in everything from the choice of food and clothes to the independent solution of regularly arising small problems. But all this helps growing people to gain the experience of "standing on their own feet."

Often, each of the parents tries to make their only child prodigy, thereby loading the child to the limit. However, overprotection does not allow the development of creativity. On the contrary - taking for granted the care and attention of others, the child can "get stuck" in the illusion that the real is only what the other guessed and insisted on. In general, "Mom knows best what I need." The result is a socially immature personality, accessible to all sorts of more or less harmless manipulations.

Practice shows that parents of only children have different attitudes towards the need to set clear boundaries for the child - “framework”. Some will never learn to say their only "no", to prevent various children's "ugliness". It is easier for an adult to clean up scattered toys after a child, wipe a soiled table, thereby voluntarily and involuntarily supporting the situation of “avoiding growing up”. As a result, parents of only children often “fall off their feet” from their beloved child as if from hard work, they feel overwhelmed and discouraged.

If an only child from birth is surrounded only by adults, he comes to kindergarten or school with a low potential for social adaptation in a society of peers. And if, besides, a little man, accustomed to his exclusivity, tries to “build” his peers, bitter disappointment can leave a serious imprint on his future “career”. Children probably instinctively anticipate something like this. Do you think that by chance the only children often persistently ask to “buy” them a brother, sister, dog? .. They often desperately lack a society of equals.

Problems of raising an only child in a family

The life of an only child is not so easy in today's world of stress and emotional stress. Often they find themselves involved in complex relationships with their own parents. As a result, the foundations of a serious emotional and psychological trauma are laid. Therefore, the wide social ties of a one-child family are so important - grandparents, cousins and second cousins and sisters, family friends to eliminate problems in raising a child ...

It is more difficult for single children to adapt to any changes in the emotional balance in the family. And here they are indispensable role-playing games- including the classic "Game of the House". By the way, with the right approach, boys build their own “family within a family” no less willingly than girls. On the tab to the next number we will place a set paper figurines- members of a "toy" family for amateur games with a child: "Family at home", "Birthday", "Vacation trip", etc. Playing with your child, you will learn a lot about his ideas about the structure of the family and family interaction.

If the child has some gaming experience, most likely he will choose the plot for the "toy" family, will try to realize his plan, create game situations with figures. An adult can become an equal partner of a child - do not hesitate, he will appreciate it!

What household chores will members of the "toy" family do? Maybe the toys will go on vacation to the sea or will prepare for the birthday? Follow the development of the storyline given by the child, and offer your ideas for the development of the plot exclusively from the playing role. For example, the family was going to visit, and the child toy, whose role you got, had a fever. The child himself will develop the course of the game in connection with new plot clues. Combine several game plots at once... and play for your health!

In recent years, families have often decided to limit themselves to one child. And not just for economic reasons. Sometimes you can hear that the only child is psychologically more comfortable: he has no reason for jealousy, he does not have to share toys with his brother or sister, and in terms of education he will receive more, because the mother can throw all her strength into teaching one child ... But are these benefits really so indisputable?

selfish children

Like it or not, but the only child in the family is much more likely to grow up as an egoist, his "exclusivity" in the family greatly affects his development. And such people, as you know, are extremely jealous, they want the whole world to revolve only around them. And since there is no objective reason for jealousy in children, they specifically look for it and find it.
A typical example: six-year-old Igor behaved perfectly at home. But when dad came home from work, the boy changed dramatically. No, it's not that he showed dissatisfaction... On the contrary, Igor seemed to be happy with his father, but this joy was expressed somehow too violently, and a surge of positive emotions quickly turned into negative ones. Igor became touchy, irritable. He did not allow his parents to talk calmly, demanded that they play with him, and did not want to understand at all that dad was tired and he wanted to rest. When the time for sleep came, jealousy manifested itself even more frankly: the boy flatly refused to fall asleep in his bed and, with childish spontaneity, tried to send his father there.
- You lie down in my bed, I have already made a bed for you, - he tenderly persuaded dad, who, as you understand, was by no means enthusiastic about such a "link".
Other "individual farmers" are jealous of their mother for work or for friends. Some women complain that they can’t even talk calmly on the phone: the son or daughter immediately starts to behave badly, defiantly interferes with communication. There are those who simply demand that the mother hangs up. So the position of "the one and only" is not at all a safe-conduct against childish jealousy. It just takes a slightly different direction.

Parenting Models

According to psychologists, the personal life of the "sole heirs" is usually a "tracing paper" from parental marriage. As experience shows, by the time their children are born, they suddenly acquire pragmatic sanity, completely “forgive” their parents for the absence of brothers and sisters, and ... give birth to a single “heir”. Why? Most likely it's habit. They do not have models of upbringing and behavior in a family where several children grow up.

From the point of view of psychoanalysis
Freud was the first of the psychiatrists to notice that "the position of the child among sisters and brothers is of the utmost importance in his entire subsequent life." So, for example, it is known that older children in the family have some general characteristics: achievement orientation, leadership qualities. In addition, the eldest child is first brought up as the only one. Then, when his privileged position has already become familiar to him, his “place” in the soul of his parents is occupied by a newborn. When the "capture" occurs before the age of five, it becomes an extremely shocking experience for the child. After five years, the elder already has a place outside the family, in society, and therefore psychologically less infringed by the newcomer.

Seven nannies...

The only child is usually surrounded by increased attention from adults. Especially reverently - due to age - the older generation treats kids. Many grandparents doted on their only grandchild. But overprotection, as you know, gives rise to children's fears. Adult anxiety is transmitted to children. They can grow dependent, dependent. Those who were too much patronized and controlled in childhood, in adulthood are not capable of bold, decisive actions.
It is generally harmful for a child to feel that he is the center of the universe, around which the satellite planets - his family - revolve.
And in single-child families, this, alas, is almost inevitable. Such “child-centrism” leads to the formation of consumer psychology: children begin to consider their relatives as their appendage, existing only to satisfy their needs and whims. This is especially evident in adolescence.
Although, if you look, “the one and only” behaves quite logically: adults brought up little prince And now the prince has grown up. Why should he serve anyone?
Psychologists and educators around the world are concerned about the infantilism of today's teenagers and young people. This, of course, is a separate and very extensive topic of conversation. I can only say that far from the last reason for teenage infantilism is the upbringing of children in families with one or two children, when the overprotection of adults does not allow the child to grow up normally. And it, being an egoist, is sure that being an adult means having a lot of rights and almost no duties.
Imagine what it will be like for an adult "little prince" when his parents grow old! After all, only children bear a huge burden of caring for older family members. It often happens that a thirty-year-old man still has elderly grandparents who need to either fix the faucet in the kitchen or dig up a vegetable garden in their summer cottage. And then there’s the mother, who lives separately, ends up in the hospital, she also has to visit. Yes, and his family needs care. And if the wife also has no brothers and sisters, then the burden on the “prince” doubles.
Of course, brought up by an egoist, such a son can say to his relatives:
- It's your problems. Settle down as best you can.
But you are unlikely to want such comfort in old age. And the person who says so will have a hard time. No matter how much he assures himself that he is right, he cannot completely drown out the voice of conscience. And this gives rise to internal conflicts, leads to mental breakdown.

Fighting stereotypes
The stereotypical idea of the psychological problems of the only child in the family today does not find confirmation. As studies by child and adolescent psychiatrists from Mannheim (Germany) have shown, only children in the family do not differ in the proportion of deviations in behavior, fears, and school failure from their peers who have a brother or sister. No significant differences were found between boys and girls. At the same time, as the specialists of the Mannheim Central Institute for Mental Health have shown, family cohesion, communication style in the family, as well as the social environment where the child grows up are of decisive importance. The only thing that clearly distinguishes the only child in the family is a higher (by 4 points) level of intelligence development.

Importance of imitation and social experience
It is believed that an only child has more opportunities for intellectual development, but this is another common misconception.
Single children play little or no role play. They have no one to learn from, no one to play with. A gap in such games adversely affects the entire development of the child, including intellectual. After all, it is this game that gives the little man a three-dimensional idea of the world.
Children from such families have a completely different social experience. When confronted with life outside the home, such a child is often psychologically traumatized. Once in kindergarten or coming to first grade, he habitually expects that he will be distinguished from those around him. And when this does not happen, it becomes neurotic. He may lose interest in learning, there is a fear of failure, and this again does not contribute to intellectual development.

First child

The first child is similar to the only one. The world of adults has a huge impact on him, and he begins to be driven by the desire to compete with the elders. The first child is usually conservative, because he is used to defending his position. He is very responsible and prefers verbal clashes to physical clashes. A sense of duty is sharply developed in him, and his whole and purposeful nature is worthy of trust.
The appearance of a brother / sister unexpectedly deprives him of power, throws him back into the world of children. And then the struggle for the return of the lost first place in the hearts of parents begins. The habit of using one's power over brothers and sisters later manifests itself in the desire to dominate others and always keep the situation under control.
He has a strong character, and pressure from his parents makes him treat himself with the utmost exactingness. He always sets the bar very high, and then he never feels that he has achieved enough. The fact that he is the first and eldest gives him a feeling of his own exclusivity for life, makes him calm and self-confident.

Your serial number and career
The researchers found that the only children in the family and, to some extent, the first children are more likely to prefer intellectual and research activities. Non-first-born children gravitate more toward careers in the arts and outside the office.
"These results are consistent with the theory that birth order influences a child's personality," said Frederick T. L. Leong, study co-author and professor of psychology at Ohio State University.
“Typically, parents have different expectations and preferences for a child depending on their birth order,” Leong continues. - For example, parents may show increased concern for an only child and worry about his physical safety. Perhaps that is why the only children in the family are more likely to show interest in intellectual work than in physical activity. In addition, the only child in the family receives more time and attention than those who have brothers and sisters.”
In addition, parents can direct the attention of an only or first child to areas where a prestigious career is possible, such as medicine or law. Perhaps that is why children born later are more likely to show interest in professions in the field of art.

We all walk under God...
Parents who prefer to limit themselves to one child do not think about other important consequences of their decision. Here is what Professor Sinelnikov, a prominent Russian demographer, writes: “Of course, it is easier for parents of an only child, but they do not know how much chance they have of becoming childless in old age. According to our calculations, based on Goskomstat data for 1995, the probability that a mother will outlive her son is 32%!Only parents of two or three or more children have a sufficiently reliable guarantee against the loss of all of them.
And they lose a child now, as a rule, not in infancy - infant mortality in recent years, thank God, has increased slightly. Lose, alas, in adolescence, when it is too late for parents to think about another baby. But since this “can happen to anyone, but not to us,” people live in a world of illusions. Regardless of statistics.

If there is only one child in the family

If for some reason, and very serious ones, the child will remain your only one, try to mitigate the negative consequences of raising one child in the family and translate them into a positive one. How? First, everywhere and always develop and encourage altruism. Let the child learn from childhood to help others, to do something for others: for grandma, grandpa, godfather...
A good magic wand in this case ... summer cottage. Work in the garden and garden is usually more than enough, and the activity is just aimed at the benefit of the whole family.
In a family where one baby is growing up, it is very important to keep in touch with relatives. An only child needs a big “relatives”. Then he will practically not suffer from loneliness.
Of course, you can try to make up for the lack of brothers or sisters with friends, but family ties are something special. This is much deeper than just a commonality of tastes and interests. Let the child have no brothers or sisters, but there will be cousins, second cousins, fourth cousins ... yes, at least the seventh water on jelly! The second part of the word is especially significant here - “relatives”.
There is another opportunity to “give” a brother and sister to a child: become a godmother for someone. It is wonderful when a godbrother or sister is perceived by a child as close relatives. But for this, of course, you also need to consider your godson a member of your family.