Smart people see their mistakes as a good opportunity to learn something. In his article, Dr. Travis Bradberry shares ten mistakes that should not be repeated twice. That is, these are the very cases when the lesson must be learned the first time.
Everyone makes mistakes - this is natural, but not always useful. Some people step on the same rake over and over again, lag behind the rest and do not understand what is wrong with them.
"Mistakes are always forgivable if you have the courage to accept them", –
Bruce Lee.
When a person makes a mistake, he can hardly admit it, because it is so unpleasant and uncomfortable. However, in this way we only drive ourselves into a dead end, counteracting our nature. According to psychologists, full recognition and acceptance of one's mistakes is the only way to avoid repeating them.
Yet, for some reason, many of us still struggle to confront ourselves.
Psychologists at the University of Michigan have found that there are two types of thinking about failure: the first is fixed thinking (“Better give it all up, it still won’t work”). The second is a growth mindset (“Something’s wrong here! Let’s see where I could be wrong so that this doesn’t happen again in the future”).
“When we notice mistakes, we spend a lot of time and effort to fix them. Jason Moser says and as a result, errors accrue to us.”
People with a growth mindset become better and more successful by admitting their mistakes. Conversely, fixed-minded individuals do everything to ignore their failures, and then, without even understanding why, they always stop at obstacles.
Smart people are not immune to mistakes, but they are willing to learn from them. In other words, they find the cause of their own miscalculations and do not allow a similar situation to be repeated twice.
“If you repeat a mistake, it is no longer a mistake, but your decision.”
Paulo Coelho.
Smart people learn from their mistakes and don't repeat them twice.
1. Believe in things that are too good to be true.
We are fascinated by charismatic and self-confident individuals. They all talk about their glorious deeds, about how cool they are, but, in fact, they offer a “pig in a poke”. But even smart people cannot distinguish them from truly successful advisers until one day they themselves fall into a trap.
Smart people ask serious questions before making a decision, because they understand that no one is as good as they try to look. Even they themselves!
2. Expect better results by doing the same thing.
Albert Einstein said it was crazy to do the same thing and expect a different result. But still, there are many people among us who seem to think that 2+2=5.
Smart people need only once experience disappointment due to unfulfilled expectations. In other words: don't expect change if you stick to one path. The result will be the same. To get something new, you need to step over yourself and change your approach, even if it is unpleasant for you.
3. Wait for lightning-fast results.
Smart people know that there is no quick result, one way or another, hard work precedes victory.
No wonder there is a chain "motivation → action → result". Smart people know how to use motivation at every step of the complex process that leads to success.
4. Spending money recklessly.
You cannot be financially free while you are dependent on money. Attachment to them forces you to make a choice between what you want and what you can afford.
The solution is simple: carefully consider the details of the family budget before you get into debt and live "pay to pay." If you understand where the money you earn goes, you will have no problem prioritizing your purchases. You can, for example, refuse a second latte in the morning, if you calculate how much money accumulates in a year.
When you have a clear budget, you will not miss the chance to invest your money in the right direction. Budget is the basis of order, order is the basis of quality work.
5. Lose understanding of the big picture.
It is easy to bury yourself in papers, work tirelessly and lose the big picture of what is happening. Smart people learn to keep everything under steadfast control: set daily goals, weeding out false motives.
Do not act recklessly with small tasks, on the contrary, structure them so coherently that you can gradually reach your goal.
6. Don't do "homework".
At some point, an installation may occur, which is quite normal to write off from a friend homework biology class or showing up unprepared for an important meeting. Smart people understand that sometimes they get lucky and this tactic works, but it does not give them a chance to reach their full potential. And only when they make every effort to complete a certain task do they achieve results.
7. Hiding behind a mask.
Sometimes it's tempting to make a special impression on others, but in fact - no one likes hypocrites. It's a bad habit to conform to other people's standards. Smart people know they lose their true self by trying to give someone the wrong impression.
Many simply do not understand that others feel their deceit. They do not admit that they are gradually losing relationships with loved ones, jobs and opportunities they love just because they are trying to be something they are not.
Be yourself when you interact with other people, because happiness and success require sincerity.
8. Trying to please everyone.
You can't be good to everyone, and yet almost everyone makes this mistake. To become more successful and effective, you need to develop confidence in your beliefs and do in time what it is you, and not someone else, sees fit.
9. Play the victim.
Smart people quickly realize that this is a form of manipulation, and its benefits will wear off once others realize it's just a ruse. There is one more inconspicuous, at first glance, detail: portraying the victim, you stop believing in your strength and begin to underestimate yourself.
10. Trying to change someone.
People change only if they are willing and ready to change. Despite this, many people really want to retrain someone, to prove their authority. Some even look for people with "breakdowns" to "repair" them! But a smart person does not need to poke his nose into his mistakes, he himself sees them and knows that he is able to change!
On the contrary, start with yourself, build your life, and then inspire those around you and try to avoid those who drag you down.
By nature, intelligent people are always successful because they never stop learning new things. They learn from their experience and their mistakes, and if they change, then only for the better.
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Agree, we often make the same mistakes in life, in other words, we step on the same rake. The amazing thing is that each person does it in their own way. Astrologers say that a person makes all the mistakes and mistakes as dictated by his Zodiac Sign. Is it true? Let's test this hypothesis in a comic horoscope!
Aries
Aries will step on a rake, realize that he made a mistake and break them in a fit of rage. However, in the process, he will receive another 10 on the head with them.
Taurus
Taurus is a stubborn nature. According to the comic horoscope, this Zodiac Sign is simply a champion in rake walking. The true Taurus will step on the rake until they break. Although, when they break, Taurus can buy another one and start all over again.
Twins
The twins simply need to try all the rakes, only after that they will understand what they want and in which direction they need to move. Experience for Gemini comes not with years, but with the number of rakes in their lives.
Cancer
According to the comic horoscope according to the Sign of the Zodiac, Cancer cannot do without a rake. He will constantly step on them, but this is what will give him strength. Only by making a mistake, Cancer will understand what he really needs from life.
a lion
Leo is optimistic about stepping on the same rake a couple more times. The representative of this Sign does not just step on a rake, he cheerfully jumps on them, while waving his hands to his friends and calling them to join.
Virgo
Virgo steps on the rake carefully, trying to calculate the force of impact and the degree of pain caused. Virgo believes that it is possible to step on the same rake if you correctly predict and plan everything.
Scales
Libra will long and stubbornly avoid meeting with a rake. They will begin to doubt, think for a long time and calculate the moves, but when they make a decision, they will definitely step on the biggest and sharpest rake.
Scorpion
Scorpio steps on a rake and is not afraid of it. And all because the representative of this Zodiac Sign simply does not notice anything! And if he notices, then he won’t even think about the fact that this still happened.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius does not teach life at all. If Sagittarius steps on a rake and realizes that he made a big mistake, then this will not stop him from reaching his goal. After a while, he will decide to step on the same rake again.
Capricorn
Capricorn, stepping on a rake, behaves very strangely: he analyzes, thinks and estimates for a long time. But in the end he will understand that it is not worth his thoughts and will forget his oversight, which in the end will again push him to the mistake.
Aquarius
According to the comic horoscope, Aquarius is very good at gardening tools. He will step on the most attractive and original, in his opinion, rake and will be proud that no one else but him has thought of doing this.
Fish
If Pisces steps on a rake at least once, then they will remember and regret it all their lives. Until a very old age, Pisces will keep already rusty, but still quite usable rakes in their closet and sigh heavily, looking at them.
We hope this humorous zodiac sign horoscope made you smile! We wish you good luck and don't forget to press and
13.03.2014 12:40
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Everyone has their favorite "rake". And they shy away on the nose with enviable regularity. And for some reason they remain “invisible” until the return becomes so strong that it can no longer be ignored. The person seems to “wake up”, look around and finally “get it” that he again “stumbled” into the same situation that was a month or a year or two or three ago. And this is always a revelation for a person, accompanied by a depressed emotional state, feelings of guilt and shame, self-sniffing and reproaches against oneself.
But if you think about it, then these “rakes” always appear as a certain process, once consciously chosen and later simply implemented in different life situations.
Moreover, the more often implemented, the better remembered, smoothly turning into a habit.
And that's right, we start this process ourselves, CONSCIOUSLY making a decision, which then launches a chain of thoughts, actions, deeds, which further lead to undesirable results for us.
And this decision - whatever it may be - is always associated with the suppression of one's Ego, the rejection of one's interests and desires, and violent attempts to "justify" this refusal on a conscious level.
Often the "rake" is clearly manifested in some particular area of life, for example, in love relationships, in relationships with money or people, and is ignored, or simply not perceived in other areas of life.
As it usually happens in life - “all men are goats”, “they threw me again with money”, “I am an eternal loser”, “everyone constantly rides me, sat on my neck”, “I work like an ox, but she doesn’t So".
And if you look and track all such situations, you can clearly see PROCESS depreciation of oneself, betrayal of oneself and one's interests, and, characteristically, this process will be different actors, scenery, nuances, but not its essence. Moreover, this process is always emotional and energetic and is connected with the ego.
And everyone can deal with their "rake" by simply thinking and decomposing this process into stages, naming the stages and tracking the feelings and emotions inherent in each stage.
I also have such “rakes” that are clearly manifested in one area of my life, namely with work, and are implicitly present in other areas. When I caught this process and sorted it out, somehow everything immediately fell into place, and allowed me to change the situation.
So, the Rake process.
With the work did not work from my very first place of work "for my uncle." Since then, I have changed jobs more than once, and each time this change was quite painful for me. Every time I was looking for a new job, I had to explain it with external reasons, such as low salary or inconvenient schedule, sometimes I had to “attract” these very external causes, because the “psychological” nuances of my inner self-perception do not bother employers. Although in fact, I quickly reached the salary cap, I felt that my potential far exceeded the offered functionality, but I had to do boring routine work and keep quiet. Employers could not offer anything else, but I simply could not go out at work. Therefore, I explained the change of work with a low salary.
Although, in fact, the constant change of jobs is my "rake", because the emotional-energetic process (EEP) at each place of work proceeded the same way.
I once worked in a construction company, which at that time confidently entered the real estate market and developed at an accelerated pace at the city level. The director is adequate, the salary is good, the potential is in demand, the relations in the team are evenly indifferent, but without squabbles, intrigues and scandals, the company is developing, the schedule is normalized, in general everything is strictly according to the Labor Code of the Russian Federation without any frills. Sit down and rejoice (by the way, this is the only job that I still regret losing).
But it so happened that I met the director of another large enterprise, which was already known at the regional level. In the process of communication, he receives an offer to work in his enterprise in a pretty good position. A high salary is announced, a company car, compensation for cellular communications, training for an MBA degree, as well as various other “nishtyaks” are a bonus. In the "zero" years, these were very good conditions. Having succumbed to such a “profitable” offer, I decided that my ambitions would be more in demand in a new place, I quit the construction company and come to get a new job. The head office is in another city, but the branch in which I have to work is located in the city of my residence.
Emotionally - energy process is started, and already passed the first stage. For me, it is characterized by an interest in a new job, inflated expectations about salary, in the hope of showing my hitherto unclaimed qualities. It seems that in a new place you will certainly be able to realize your ambitions, move up the social ladder, build a career, earn all the money and become an indispensable employee. Then I called this stage - "The trumpet is calling." At this stage, the decision is made to get involved in the "battle". But this is not yet a "rake".
On the energy plane, there is a self-winding, a swinging of the pendulum of emotions and an exit from an even state. There are already expectations about the new work, there is an anticipation of how great and wonderful everything will be.
So, I come to get a new job, go through all the necessary procedures in the personnel department, and then they tell me, they say, I need to go to the utility block, get a padded jacket and felt boots .... WHAT?? What quilt? What boots? For what? To which they answer me that you will work in winter in unheated construction trailers, and in winter you can’t go anywhere without a padded jacket and felt boots. Yes, and the toilet is outside, no office, you, girl, didn’t you know?
Crap! What wagons? Felt boots? Vatnichek? Why am I hearing about this for the first time? They promised an office, a car, and MBA training, but no one said a word about working in the field with a windswept "Bodka" toilet outside. Emotions rage, complete confusion and misunderstanding of further actions. While I am conducting internal monologues with myself and the same director, in the warehouse they give me the same quilted jacket and felt boots. I take.
And this second stage of the EEP, let's call it "Kyachok". At this stage, the first discrepancy between reality and expectations occurs, accompanied by the first disappointment from reality.
Realizing that they didn’t even deceive me, but simply didn’t announce all the working conditions, I start FIND EXCUSES on a conscious level to everything that happens. Reasoning roughly in the spirit of: “What to do, what to do, what to do? I already quit there, and they won’t take it back, and how can I come and ask for it back? How will they look at me? There is some garbage here .. felt boots .. sheepskin coat ... and she promised to work for this, God forgive me, director, he is counting on me. And they promised a good salary, and already submitted all the documents. Now what? Go back, say that I changed my mind about getting a job? How then to return home? What will they tell me, what a fool, you didn’t sit at a good job, went I don’t know where?
Thoughts like frisky horses rush through the head, all the pluses and minuses are weighed, and, despite the internal resistance, a decision is made - since I arrived at a new job - to work, despite all the "buts". That is, despite the "Junk", the internal resistance, which is simply no longer taken into account, the discrepancy between reality and the promises of the leadership, I decide to work at a new job. This is the third stage of the EEP- call him "Forward, regardless of..."
On the energy plane, at that moment there was a betrayal of my Ego, my interests, to adjust to circumstances that were unfavorable for me, to “muzzle” my inner voice, which told me that if everything starts like this, it will not end with anything good. This is always a very energy-intensive process that requires colossal energy investments, because no one has yet been able to betray one's Self without consequences. But I dismissed all this as irrelevant, and my Ego did not “forgive” me for this.
Actually, from this decision, the “Rake” process itself is launched. Everything that happened before that was acceleration, prelude.
So, all my fears about a new job, formed on the first day in a new place, are slowly beginning to be justified. I really had to work in a cold construction trailer, the enterprise turned out to have an extensive system of fines, which, of course, no one told me about, the work was associated with a traveling nature, but they did not provide a company car, so I had to go to clients by public transport. Studying was paid for not just like that, but with the signing of an agreement that I undertake to either work at the enterprise for many years or pay for it in case of dismissal. In general, many conditions and requirements for work at the stage of the device were hushed up, not voiced, and this was a normal practice for this organization.
But, despite all this, I worked conscientiously, put a lot of strength and energy into my work, everything was interesting to me, I wanted to learn and achieve, fulfill indicators and plans, communicate with clients and get new ones, I am proud of my successes, receive adequate compensation for this. salary and live in peace with yourself. And she worked, and attracted, and traveled by public transport for clients. And all this within the framework of irregular working hours.
Meanwhile, the company was grinding the employee (that is, me) for themselves. There was a stage the fourth stage - "Shoals".
Salary fines began for an unfulfilled plan, “studying” me on the “carpet” with the boss, salary delays, and then its reduction. My dissatisfaction with working conditions grew, the lack of clear prospects for getting a car for trips to clients. Customers constantly complained about the quality of products and their price, pouring out all their emotions on me. The management preferred not to hear the employees, not to pay attention to proposals for improving working conditions and product quality.
Every working day became a source of negativity and dissatisfaction with oneself and the world around.
So the world compensated me for the aggression accumulated in me in relation to this work. My Ego stubbornly “told” me that if there is discontent and irritation, negativity and anger, any negative feelings and emotions, the source of this must be removed. But I resisted just as stubbornly, again and again finding excuses for my being at this place of work. And the world just as stubbornly "punished" me.
All this caused repeated aggression, which immediately "flew" back to me, such is the cycle of aggression in nature. Every day I wanted to go to work less and less.
This - sixth stage of EEP "Rake" - "Rebel"."Rebel" is a part of the process with the characteristics: indignation, struggle, militancy, resistance, rebuff, anger, hatred. This is a reaction to blows from outside. An outburst of energy, rather negative, on "injustice."
About a year later, I realized that I could no longer resist the pressure of management, the constant negativity from customers who present me with all their claims, for which I cannot be responsible, because I sell the product, but do not produce it, constant salary delays and in general, the complete discrepancy between the declared and the real. Tired of the sugary speeches of the authorities that we are a “team”, that “we have a mission” and we must bring “light” to clients. Tired of the high requirements for the sales plan, with the low quality of the product, of the whole moral and psychological situation in general.
The "Loser" stage is coming - the seventh stage of the EEP, which always proceeds the same for me. I again make the wrong decision - to surrender in the "battle". My “Fighter”, indignant and waving sticks, simply surrenders in the “battle”. It’s easier and easier for me, by this stage I’m so mentally and physically tired that it’s less energetically costly for me to simply surrender to the mercy of the “winner”. There is an outflow of energy, the stage is characterized by emptiness, a feeling of uselessness, abandonment, a feeling that I was used, resentment and a sense of injustice. How can it be, I put so much effort and energy into this work, I tried to make my clients and bosses happy, hunchbacked in the evenings and weekends, and as a result I get a small salary, constant hassle, an inadequate boss, wild fatigue and irritation.
There is a constant outflow of energy, there is no pleasure from work, the Ego rebels, demanding to urgently remove this situation, common sense tries to “put on the true path”, arguing in favor of “be patient, everything will settle down”. All this is transformed into the eighth stage of the EEP is "Dohlyak". I have no strength for anything, apathy, dead end, loneliness, emptiness, relatives do not understand, attributing everything to my "nasty character". And you can’t explain that this is all just a consequence of the betrayal of your Ego, the rejection of your interests. How then could not explain why she suddenly changed her mind about getting a job promising work with a car, a good salary and an MBA study. Although I already understand now that all my “frills” would be written off anyway as “my difficult character”.
On the emotional-energetic level - burnout, self-sabotage, now the absence of all sorts of arguments "for" this work.
The next, ninth, stage is "Death"- I live like a robot, mechanically, nothing pleases me, there is no one who makes decisions. The whole "leaked" at the stage "Loser" and "Dead". So some time passes and at the same stage, energy slowly begins to recover. There are forces to make a decision to dismiss, as the only way out of an oppressive situation. I quit.
The tenth stage of the EEP is "Self-healing". Sometimes this period falls already at a new place of work, sometimes between, but it goes quite quickly, and is characterized by the restoration of energy and a taste for life.
Dance with a rake we dance without rehearsals - V. Gubarev
And this “rake” process is different for everyone, and the stages can be different, and named differently.
But the emotional-energetic process of the "Rake" proceeds in the same way for everyone.
1. There is always some kind of “bait”, a deep root cause, an unmet need that provokes the first stage of this process.
The desire to be loved, in demand, needed, necessary. The desire to start a family, to get some thing, to be the first in the chosen field, to satisfy the need for security, and so on - this is the root cause. Look for it and you will see that every time this reason is the same.
2. A decision is made that is contrary to the interests of the ego and the person himself.
To agree to unacceptable working conditions, to humiliate and insult a loved one, to a relationship that does not bring joy - this is the solution. And also in the hope that if you are a “good boy / girl”, then everything will be as it should.
3. A person, despite all the negative emotions and "warnings", finds "justifications" for this.
So a woman can always find excuses for a man who raises his hand or drinks or sits on her neck until the Ego finds a way to eliminate this humiliating situation. So it turns out "all men are goats."
This is how a man finds an excuse for his inner licentiousness, his inability to make decisions and bear responsibility for them, and most importantly, his unwillingness to change, so it’s easier and easier to say “I’m a loser, I’m unlucky in life.”
4. Thoughts, feelings and emotions are subject to this decision. The world begins to reflect your inner resistance to this decision, which was made against the interests of the Ego.
Usually all this is accompanied by negative emotions, hassle, depressed mood, aggression.
5. By volitional efforts, a person “justifies” this decision, pushing the arguments of the inner voice to hell.
But since the Ego is always on the side of a person, the negative from this decision becomes more and more. The goal of the ego is to remove a traumatic situation. In my case, it is to remove the work in which I only lose strength and energy, without receiving an adequate return (not necessarily material in the form of a salary).
6. As soon as the Ego achieves this, through external situations and other people, the person climbs into the same situation again.
Because it is familiar and familiar. And unfamiliar and unusual - it's scary. And scary no one loves.
This is how people get their permanent "Favorite Rake".
In general, awareness of this process and putting it on the shelves already gives a huge advantage. So this process can and should be controlled. Which will ultimately allow you to remove this process from life.
There are two options to "get off" from your favorite "Rake":
1. Change the basic characteristics of the personality, becoming a lucky and winner from a victim and a loser.
The problem here is that, as a rule, the “Rake” process is a very familiar process that proceeds according to already known laws, energetically understandable and, by and large, not fraught with danger. A person, having once gone through this process, and without dying, will go through it again and again. It is already written on the subcortex that this does not threaten death (I do not take borderline cases here). The basic characteristics are basic because you can’t change them so easily, although if you set a goal, everything is possible.
2. Change the stages of the process, preferably the initial ones, catching the moment that here they are - “Favorite Rakes”
As soon as the Ego starts to rage, as soon as you understand that you are forced to go against your interests, that someone else’s will is being imposed on you, you need to stop and think about what you don’t like in a particular situation. Do not react in the way you have already learned, do not get involved again in the “Rake” process, but think about how to turn the situation in your direction, or even get out of it at the initial stage.
Usually people run OT. I was running FROM misunderstanding of my place and role in the organization, FROM low wages, FROM the cardinal inconsistency with reality and the speeches of the authorities.
Understand what you are running from. A woman can run FROM loneliness, from a feeling of unattractiveness, from a lack of love and tenderness, and she runs to a man, anyone who is ready to spend time with her, and whose antics she meekly endures.
Many run FROM lack of demand at work and in life, FROM feelings of dissatisfaction with themselves, FROM emptiness and loneliness, FROM the lack of something. And this flight from OT leads to the miraculous “Rake”, which a person will not put aside and which hit and hit him on the forehead. In the hope that he will finally come to his senses and stop pushing his true interests into the background, but will listen to himself, not trying to find "excuses" for other people.
If you catch and decompose this process into stages once, you will see that not only in one area you constantly step on them, but in others too.
And constantly run, run OT. From lack of love, attention, money, health, motivation, strength.
And you need to run.
Run To money, love, health, hobbies, travel, wealth, whatever you want. But this is a completely different emotional-energetic process.
To repeat the same mistake, not to draw conclusions from previous mistakes, not to take advantage of the sad experience of others.
- ⚜ Only the dead don't make mistakes
- ⚜ Mistake teaches people wisdom
- ⚜ Stepped on the teeth - with a rake in the forehead
This is usually said to a person who, not for the first time, makes the same mistake. Similar English proverbs:
- ⚜ Only a fool steps on the same rake twice
- ⚜ Stupid is the fish that catches the same bait twice
The expression is used figuratively, not literally. Like a man, having placed a rake in a corner, stumbles over them all the time, grumbling, but there is nowhere to put them, and he stumbles over them again and again.
So in life, you can find out identical situations when a person, having made a mistake or oversight, has not learned anything, but everything does the same. Then this situation repeats itself again and again.
How many times can you step on the same rake? An infinite number of times, if this rake lies on the Möbius strip. Remember this one from high school?
Mokienko Valery Mikhailovich, "Why do we say so?"
STEP ON THE SAME RAKE
To repeat the same mistake, not to draw conclusions from previous mistakes, not to take advantage of the sad experience of others.
❀ ❀ ❀There is nothing to lose, so you can ask. Honest answers will open your eyes to many things and relationships in general. It's time to stop stomping on the same rake and start a new relationship, without distortions and critical mistakes.
The former are not just people who have remained in the past, but those who gave us invaluable experience. With the right attitude towards him, you can build stronger relationships, though not with this person, but with another, but these are trifles. Before you burn any bridges, ask your ex-partner to answer a few honest questions. It will benefit both of you, so the game is worth the candle and the time spent.
Did you love (love) me?
A trite question from the category of vanilla, can help you avoid toxic relationships in the future. If your ex-partner answers (we hope that he or she will not come to this, of course) that nothing in the whole relationship has stirred up the fire of love in his heart, then things are bad. It is sad, of course, to listen to such criticism, but then you will understand how a person who loves only himself in a relationship can behave.
Why did you decide (decided) to leave?
Even if you were the initiator of the break, the ex-partner agreed, which means he was ready for this crucial step. So ask why. This question will help you understand what was really hiding behind your serene behavior and to what point of no return your relationship has reached.
What did (did) I do wrong?
If you broke up as friends, or at least peacefully, without sacrifice, then ask your ex-lover what exactly irritated him or her in the relationship, maybe there was something wrong with you? Thanks to this feedback, you will be able to work on the bugs and build more happy relationship in future.
Do you think our love could be saved?
This is a question that should be asked if you've been dumped. There is a high probability that your unbearable behavior in certain situations was the cause of the collapse. Knowing where the breakdown occurred, it is easier to prevent it in the future.
Did you cheat (cheat) on me?
Yes, an unpleasant question, and even a purely personal one. Digging through dirty laundry is a so-so undertaking, but sometimes it is useful to turn it around. So, if the answer is yes (although it is difficult to call it positive), you will understand exactly when you ignored your friends, relatives, intuition and other signals. By the way, do not forget to ask your "ex" what was the reason that he still turned left.
Do you remember me?
There is no need to harbor empty hopes, even if a person remembers you after the end of the relationship, this does not mean anything. It's not a fact that he loves you and wants to return, maybe you are just a wonderful person who deserves to never be forgotten.
Did you like my parents?
We all want to meet a person who will love not only our soul torn to shreds, but also our loved ones. What's there, it is not necessary to love them, but it is desirable to respect them. Mutual understanding in the family is based on understanding with all members of this family. So if your former passion frankly admitted that all this time she quietly hated your relatives, do not worry. It’s better to think about how this can be fixed so that they don’t run away from you and your relatives at breakneck speed.
What does your new partner think of me?
The purpose of the question is to satisfy your curiosity. Let's not lie, we are all interested in someone else's opinion, even though we are trying to resist it. This question will help you understand if your love story was cited as an example, as well as understand in what way you were remembered. Just don't compare yourself, even if the answer is disappointing. You are a different, unique individual.
Have you planned (planned) a wedding with me?
Through this question, you will find out if people consider you a person created for Serious relationships whether they want to connect their lives with you, build a family and have children. This is an important step and not everyone, even looking at their current partner, is ready to cross this line. So if the answer is "yes" - you make a good impression, but if "no", then consider your breakup happiness. Otherwise, they would be wasting time on a person who is not ready to share the best moments of his life with you.
In the love story of any couple, there are moments when the relationship begins to ominously burst at the seams. People react differently to such a thing - some run away, others glue everything with adhesive tape, others recklessly tear the broken ones. Former relationships should be taken as an experience, and life lessons should be learned from this experience to the maximum. Do not be sad if your boat of love went like a stone to the bottom, escape from a sinking ship, I help each other find a rescue boat. We wish you good mood good luck in loveand don't forget to press the buttons and
