Can not be. Nevertheless, it is difficult to imagine a woman who has no girlfriends. They (friends) are part of every girl's life. Only with them they discuss new and old fans, test cosmetics, admire fashionable outfits, do shopping, sit in the kitchen for hours, pour out their hearts when there is nowhere else to go. Only with girlfriends (not with mothers or sisters) do they share the most secret and intimate details of their dates, erotic fantasies or suffering for a new gentleman or a new dress. Great happiness when such friendship is really sincere, real and goes through the years. But this rarely happens: often relationships end due to everyday problems, misunderstanding, envy, meanness, etc.

If this happened, how to stop communicating with a friend, so that, for example, not to make an enemy in her face? They (enemies) are completely useless, and a smart girl, a woman, will break off relations just like that. This is the wisdom: friendship must be reduced to nothing, and at the same time part beautifully. And then you never know what happens in life? The earth is round, and the meeting can occur at the most fateful moment of life.

How to stop talking to a girlfriend: tips for girls

So, if for some reason you decide to end your friendship with another girl, then you can do it like this. For example, in an open form, inform that you no longer want to communicate with her and that in the future there can be no trusting relationship between you.

However, this must be preceded by some specific event that showed a friend not with better side. How to stop communicating with a friend if, for example, she has become overly intrusive and allows herself incorrect actions that are unpleasant for you? To begin with, you can explain to the person in a tactful manner that his behavior is slightly outside the accepted norms, that she needs to reckon with other people's needs, etc.

If this does not happen, then how to stop communicating with a girlfriend? Do this. At first, try to keep communication to a minimum: do not answer her invitations, refer to employment, avoid personal meetings with her under all sorts of pretexts. Having received 3-5 refusals, on the sixth she will understand that you clearly do not want to communicate with her. But don't answer the phone - it's just impolite. Moreover, you openly make it clear that you are ignoring the person. And this cannot be done. It is necessary to break the friendship in such a way that no one would guess that this was done intentionally. Then you will “save face” and you will not make an enemy. After you stop communicating with, think again whether it was done on emotions and whether you will regret it later.

As a conclusion

It is known that " Good friends don't roll on the road." If you are thinking how to stop communicating with a friend, then he was not such. With real comrades, I want to communicate as much as possible, meet, spend a lot of time together. Relations with them are valued, they are protected. And such a person, probably, was “neither a friend, nor an enemy, but just like that” ... In any case, breaking off any kind of relationship, it must be done while maintaining human dignity. Then you will not leave people with bad impressions about yourself, which is very important for a normal, civilized person.

Shyness in front of people and fear of communication is a common problem. Most often, introverted people and teenagers face it. It is for them that it is extremely important what impression they make on others and whether others like them.

What is shyness? In psychology, this is the state of a person and the behavior caused by it, the main features of which are uncertainty, indecision, awkwardness, stiffness in movements and manifestations of one's own personality.

Different psychological schools in their own way explain the root causes of shyness and, accordingly, offer different variants problem solving. Each person decides for himself which of them is closer to his personality, character and life experience.

1. Differential psychology. According to this theory, shyness is innate and inherited. Confidence cannot be learned. A rather pessimistic view of the problem, because an innate property of a person cannot be changed.
2. Behaviorism. According to the theory of behaviorism, any human behavior is a reaction to incoming stimuli, which, under certain circumstances and the strength of emotional involvement, becomes part of the personality. So it is with shyness - people could not master the feeling of fear on the stimuli of the social environment, which ultimately led to pathological insecurity in communicating with people.
3. Psychoanalysis. Psychoanalysts explain shyness by the presence of an unconscious conflict in the personality structure. In their opinion, this is the reaction of the unconscious to unsatisfied instinctive needs and the conflict between moral norms, reality and instincts.
4. Individual psychology. Followers of this trend have actively explored shyness and the closely related “inferiority complex” that appears in childhood when a child begins to compare himself with his peers, he often encounters his own imperfections and begins to feel embarrassed about his appearance, his abilities, his family, etc. If a child does not have enough self-confidence, he becomes fearful, withdrawn, passive. However, it is in this direction that psychology is given Special attention opportunities for personal self-development, i.e. shyness is not a predetermined problem, which means that it is possible to get rid of it through work on oneself.
5. The theory of "high reactivity". According to her, the tendency to be shy is the body's reaction to overload. In this case, the consequences of this reaction can be two options:

• the child seeks to “avoid”, does not like to communicate and get acquainted, becomes insecure and fearful in public;
• the child enters the struggle, is overly self-confident.

Shyness can be based on two causes: natural and social. Natural means character, temperament, type of nervous system. Under the social - the influence of education, environment, communication within the family.

Why is shyness dangerous?

Shyness and fear of people have common roots.

• the second is more related to personality pathologies and manifests itself in experiencing a feeling of fear in the presence of strangers and in the process of communication;
• the first - it is considered a common occurrence and does not cause concern to parents if their child is inclined to be shy in the company and avoid strangers, is afraid to get to know each other. An adult considers this quality a trait of character and the specifics of temperament, with which nothing needs to be done, but one has only to come to terms with.

Pathological fear of people is managed with medication or through sessions with a psychologist, and shyness is most often ignored. However, this is not entirely true.

In the context of life, shyness and inability to communicate can sometimes bring a person a lot of problems and missed opportunities, if you do not start working with it.

Shyness in most cases leads to:

• narrowing the circle of contacts. It is difficult for a shy person to get to know each other on their own, to communicate freely. Usually, such people are limited to interaction in the family circle. At the same time, most often they suffer because of this - because they really need diverse communication;
• shyness affects the objectivity of the perception of the situation. When a problem or a stressful situation arises - a shy person often becomes illogical, forgetful;
• a shy person can rarely speak openly and defend his opinion;
• shyness is the cause of depression and reduced emotional background, shy people tend to feel dissatisfied;
• the poor emotional and social life of a person who tends to be shy leads to physical weakness and fatigue, muscle cramps, and stoop.

Based on the consequences of shyness listed above, it becomes obvious that it must be combated.

Shyness leads not only to negative feelings of fear and insecurity, but also reduces social adaptation, significantly affects the mental and physical level of personality development.

What to do?

Psychologists have developed exercises, by performing which a person will understand how to stop being afraid of people, reduce the overall level of anxiety and the tendency to be shy in relationships with people and overcome their shyness.

1. In any communication situation, when you start to be afraid of others, remember that shyness is an ordinary feeling that has no objective reasons. It arises on the basis of a chain of thoughts that follows the feeling - I will be funny, I look ugly, I will not be able to talk decently, I am afraid to answer, etc. And all this is happening in your mind, although in reality everything may look exactly the opposite. Always keep this in mind when you start to feel shy or afraid of people.
2. Act in spite of the emerging feeling of shyness. Try to meet new people more and talk openly about your feelings.

Each time, acting overcoming your fears, you put a new positive experience into the “piggy bank” of your consciousness, on which your courage and confidence in relationships with people will subsequently be built.

1. Learn to speak and respond thinking only about your goal of communication, discarding all other thoughts. Forget all "what if". Keep in mind only your goal and the options for achieving it.
2. When communicating with people, avoid excessive politeness and a large number of introductory phrases. Build a conversation clearly and do not "mumble". Learn to speak a little, but to the point.
3. In moments of particular anxiety and fear, use breathing techniques. In yoga, they are actively used and help to manage their condition and minimize embarrassment.

How to remove shyness from your life

In addition to certain exercises that reduce situational shyness, allow you to manage your condition and not be shy in communication, psychologists have identified rules for relating to life, yourself and other people. Building your lifestyle according to them, the question of how to stop being afraid of people will be closed:

1. Understand (by yourself or with the help of a psychologist) the reasons for your shyness. Where did it come from? Why should you be shy and afraid, and what benefits do you have from this? Record your insights and refer back to them periodically.
2. Live with the understanding that people are primarily concerned with themselves, and there are no spotlights on you.
3. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Do not forget that there are no ideal people, they are not divided into “good” and “bad” and you are not alone with your problem.
4. Always find reasons to praise and thank yourself. You need to do this regularly.
5. Strive to communicate more, get acquainted with new opinions, be interested in and study others, less “digging” into your own experiences. The tendency to reflection is an important quality, but in moderation. Excessive introspection drives you in circles, moving you away from reality and interaction with others. Strive to do, not dream.
6. Exercise regularly. Movement is the basis of life. Sport allows you to release the accumulated negative energy of fear and anxiety.
7. Always be prepared to be rejected or not appreciated. Understand why this scares you and what is the worst thing that can happen? You should learn to accept the word "no", do not strive to please everyone.
8. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Perfectionism will be a bad helper for you. Remember, learning something without mistakes is impossible.

Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

1. Don't waste the opportunity to practice your social skills and communicate more. Learn from the experience of those who, in your opinion, have overcome their shyness. Go periodically to trainings in communication skills or public speaking, where you can learn not to be shy and openly talk about your feelings and desires.
2. Find comfortable societies for yourself. Don't do it like everyone else - just because most people in your circle like to have fun in clubs and chat at parties - this does not mean that you should do it too.
3. Always watch what you say and how. Notice people's reactions. Forget and get distracted from your fear. In moments of anxiety - repeat: "I am not afraid of people, they will not do anything bad to me, I should not please everyone."

Final comments

Shyness reduces our life potential and deprives us of many opportunities. This quality of personality has long been recognized as a problem in psychology and is being actively investigated. The ability to communicate is the key to success in social life.

Based on most psychological theories, shyness is not a congenital defect and not a disease.

You can deal with it on your own if you work on yourself regularly. By doing certain exercises when you need to communicate with other people, it is possible to cope with shyness here and now, and by making the above rules the basis of life, you can enjoy communication and forget about the problem of shyness.

Absolute calm is the state of our body, which is considered to be the norm. With it, a person is relaxed, can fully control himself, adequately assess the situation, comprehend what is happening and make informed decisions. Not all people have such calmness, especially in non-standard life situations, including during communication. Thus, the question arises, how to stop being nervous when communicating and learn to control yourself? Our tips will help solve this problem.

The words "no need to be nervous" are good for bringing a person into a normal state of rabies.
Stas Yankovsky

Where does nervousness come from?

Nervousness occurs when irritants appear. They can be different, but as soon as they begin to affect a person, the latter loses concentration and all his mental and physical energy is turned towards these very stimuli, which switch all attention to themselves.

At the same time, a priori, nervous excitement cannot be considered a 100% deviation from the norm. On the contrary, it is necessary for a person to recognize positive or negative situations in life and react to them or avoid them. But since it can be difficult and uncomfortable to stop being nervous in communication, it is important to be able to get rid of tension.

The response to nerve stimuli must always be adequate. If nervousness is excessive, then it already becomes a serious problem. Nervous tension turns into stress, and entails serious consequences on the mental and physiological level.

For whom is excessive nervousness dangerous?

Young people are most susceptible to nervousness, because their psyche is not yet able to cope with everyday stresses. But even at a young age, there are people who are easier and easier to endure problem situations, and there are those whose nervous system is overly vulnerable. It is this category of people who most often experiences problems in relationships with other people, communication, self-realization.

Communication is a fundamental process in the formation of a personality, a necessary condition for any development. That is why excessive nervousness and embarrassment in communicating with others is a serious problem, due to which misunderstanding arises, the inability to concentrate on the subject of discussion, the lack of satisfaction from the conversation and, as a result, the narrowing of the circle of communication.

IN early age such a situation is regarded as natural, but over time, if the problem persists, the difficulties are aggravated and a person cannot harmoniously integrate into society, realize himself, develop. That is why it is important to take care of reducing nervousness, up to completely getting rid of it.

Why do we get nervous when communicating?

The reasons for this condition may be different. Nervousness appears when we are just making an acquaintance and do not know the person with whom we are to communicate. There is a natural situation of fear of being rejected or misunderstood.

This moment of nervous excitement lasts only for a while, until we get used to a stranger and determine common interests. If for some people this slightest stress can pass completely without a trace, then people with a more vulnerable psyche continue to perceive a person with some apprehension and this becomes an obstacle in conversation.

The next reason for nervousness may be the status of the person with whom you should communicate. If we have to talk with the boss, a strict father, a man or woman for whom we do not feel sympathy. Each of them causes you certain emotions - irritants that can lead to tension, fear or embarrassment.

How to stop being nervous?

Of course, no one will give you a universal recipe for how to stop being nervous when communicating. If there is a problem, then it is necessary to deal with it comprehensively and understand the cause. Often it lies precisely in the fact that a person is afraid of being misunderstood or rejected.

A self-sufficient, self-confident person who knows how to listen and also knows how to clearly convey his thoughts to the interlocutor, no matter what he may be, will certainly never encounter the problem of nervousness during communication. That is why you need to work on yourself, be open to other people and expand your circle of acquaintances in order to gain experience in various situations in communication and be able to respond to them.

It is also important to be able to evoke positive emotions in the interlocutor and are not afraid to be misunderstood or rejected. In this case, you can safely communicate on various topics without experiencing any difficulties at all and without being subjected to any stress. Well, if any arise, then you either stop communicating with the person, or reduce it to a minimum.

It is important to understand that we cannot please everyone without exception. Some people are more active in communication, more open and interested in new acquaintances, while others are closed and prefer to discuss less.

A few rules to help reduce nervousness:

• With whomever you have to communicate, always remember the purpose of the conversation.
• Know how to listen to the interlocutor and always give him the opportunity to speak.
• Find something in common and try to show a sincere interest in the area of ​​​​the interlocutor's life that is somehow interesting to you.
• Don't be afraid to ask questions, even if you don't know what to ask.
• Be attentive to topics that are incomprehensible to you and even more unpleasant, no matter how much you want to succeed in communicating with the person you need.
• Never impose on people who do not show any initiative in communication.

Work on yourself

Always be prepared to communicate. In order to enjoy communication, you yourself must have enough interests, comprehensively developed. By reducing the number of topics you do not understand, you can easily find the subject of discussion and talk with people of different ages. This way, there will be no place for nervousness, and you will be able to calmly share your knowledge.

Do not allow empty talk, chatter and gossip. Try to share knowledge, experience, ideas. If a person is pleasant to you and your sympathy is mutual, unrest and embarrassment during communication will disappear. Take advantage of this!

Video: How to overcome fears in communication?

How to stop being shy

Shyness in one way or another is characteristic of every person. However, if your shyness is a stable character trait, and, moreover, interferes with you, then you need to immediately start fighting it. Otherwise, such increased shyness can lead to the fact that your life plans may be violated.

First of all, you need to deal with the reasons for your shyness. Think about what you don’t like about yourself, and what caused you to be embarrassed? No matter how difficult the problem is, it is solvable. If it's up to you appearance- it's easier than ever. Change your wardrobe and hairstyle.

If it is a matter of mild speech defects, then only a specialist will help you cope with this. If you consider yourself a boring conversationalist (or, worse, they tell you about it in plain text), then reading can help you - stay up to date with the news, and it will be much easier for you.

If you don’t see any direct reason for shyness, then most likely you are just used to considering yourself shy. Here a kind of psychological “fitting” on yourself the image of a self-confident person can help you. Start to lead confidently and openly at home. Practice walking. Give a speech (you can do it yourself, there are a lot of tutorials on the net). Over time, you will feel that you are able to behave just as confidently around others.

You can take for yourself as an example one of your acquaintances, if you consider his behavior to be rather relaxed. Carefully study how this person behaves in various situations, and try to copy his behavior - you certainly don’t need to be ashamed of this. This is the case when imitation will only benefit you.

Video: How to stop being nervous? 10 proven ways

There is another psychological technique. Find an even more closed person than you, and try to lead over him. That is, to become his leader, who will help him become more confident. This practice will help you to become more confident in yourself and to pull up your friend.

Another method is to imagine the most Negative consequences from their own actions (or inaction). What is so terrible that will happen if you are refused or rude? Get ready for things to go wrong and relax about it. In the end, acceptance will help you deal with resentment more easily, and you will become more confident in yourself.

Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: Decided to change your life, fix something and rethink? Look around, at those around you. Perhaps among them there are those who always pull you down, make you upset, take away positive energy. Think about how your world will change if you refuse to communicate with these people.

10 types of people you shouldn't hang out with

Have you decided to change your life, fix something and rethink? Look around, at those around you. Perhaps among them there are those who always pull you down, make you upset, take away positive energy. Think about how your world will change if you refuse to communicate with these people.

Let's single out 10 types of such people.

People who make your life more stressful

We sometimes need stress. This is a stimulus to action, a shake-up for the soul. Stress due to various situations happens and will always be - this is normal and even useful. But there are special people who, with their words or actions, deliberately put you in a state of stress, worries.

Such individuals endlessly "load" their problems. Communicating with them is listening to endless whining and complaints. Negative emotions pour over you in a stream and put you in a state of despondency. Such acquaintances try to convince you of the futility of the efforts made in some business, they demotivate you. It is better to isolate yourself from such “friends”, reduce contacts to a minimum.. They are energy vampires, except for fatigue and irritation from such communication, you will not get anything.

People using you

The duty of friends is to come to the aid, to support, if possible, mentally and materially. O. A true friend is a gift to be cherished and cherished. To come to the aid of friends at the first call, putting aside their affairs - this is what is required from a loved one, a kind of litmus test showing the level of our spiritual development.

People who don't respect you

Every person wants to be respected. Disdainful or unworthy attitude offends, offends. If among your acquaintances there are such unceremonious persons who demonstrate their disrespect for you, they are not worthy of your attention. In addition to low self-esteem, they will not bring anything into your life. Get rid of those whose words or constant jokes spoil your mood. Do not waste your time on people who do not want to see you as a person worthy of respect.

People who hurt you

All people make mistakes and do stupid things. You need to be able to forgive, especially if we are talking about relatives. Resentment against others destroys the person himself from the inside. If among your environment there are people who regularly hurt, who do not have sincere repentance for their actions, move them away from you. Do not develop masochism in yourself. It harms you first of all and negatively affects loved ones who love you.

Liar people

Almost everyone can lie, embellish something, invent. Most of the lies are harmless, we often even guess that the interlocutor is “flooding”, we love to lie ourselves. When this lie does not bring harm, one can understand, but there are people who lie all the time. Their lies can be dangerous. Such "copies" will easily let you down, they will set you up at any moment. Without trust, there is no friendship. Surround yourself with only those you can trust. Your life will become calmer, you will always feel confident in your loved ones, only such reliable people can become a support.

hypocrites people

A person who says one thing in the face and another behind his back cannot be a friend. Only cowards, hypocrites, scum act like that. They don't have the courage to be honest. Often this behavior is driven by malicious intent.: quarrel, upset, hurt. They are not just unpleasant personalities, they are dangerous creatures that can ruin a reputation, interfere with a career, even break a life. Stay away from these hypocrites, don't have any association with them. Only complete disregard for such personalities will protect you from trouble.

Selfish people

Everyone suffers from selfishness. But there are egocentric people. They know how to communicate well, they are quite fun to be around. They know how to correctly and tearfully ask for help, so it is impossible to refuse. However, you will not wait for reciprocal attention or support from them. They are not able to give, help, sacrifice. These "pseudo-friends" are especially harmful as they create the illusion of friendship. You will expect help from them, but they will disappear at the most crucial moment. After all, their own interests are above the troubles of others.

People who pull you back to the old way of life

Our lives are constantly changing. We develop, grow mentally, acquire new habits. It is quite natural and natural for new people and acquaintances to appear in the environment. Sometimes it’s time to break off relations with old comrades, especially when it comes to people who are trying to slow down your development, pull you down, and prevent the fight against bad inclinations. If a friend does not want to grow with you, no longer shares interests, it is better to disperse. Now everyone has their own way. Life is a movement, you should not stop.

People who are "a childhood friend - there's no getting away from him"

It is very rare when people are friends from school to old age. We choose our friends according to interests, worldview. It can be insulting and painful to part with those who have been around for many years, whether it be a classmate, classmate or colleagues. Of course, this does not mean at all that you should immediately and permanently end the relationship. It is quite normal to keep in touch by phone, congratulate on the holidays and just wonder how life has turned out for former friend. But deliberately torment yourself by communicating with a person with whom there are now no common topics and goals.

People who needlessly take up your time and space

Time is running fast. We always fail to do something. You don't have to waste yourself on everyone you meet. Limit the number of acquaintances. Give your time and energy to people who inspire, support, motivate you. Create high-quality, useful communication in your life. A large number of empty acquaintances and meaningless conversations only steal your time, energy and destabilize mentally.published