It is quite natural and understandable that a man and a woman begin to live together, but this is not yet a family. The family includes three generations. The family lives not only in the present. Habits, manners of behavior, ways of responding to good and bad, characters live in the family. There is love in the family. There must be a "head of the family" in the family.
Love acts as the highest value in the family. Based on the principle of “turning on love”, the concept of a good parent means:
1). good son your parents;
2). Good brother/sister/friend;
3). Loyal and loving husband/wife;
4). Parent of your children.
All this together makes up the character of the master in the house, the head of the family. The nobility of love. The head of state, for example, has no right to lose his dignity, both before his people and before the world, he is the face of his country. The head of state must combine courage and honor. The head is responsible for the peace and well-being of his people, otherwise he is not the head. Likewise, the head of the family is responsible for the peace and well-being of all family members.
Authority. Authority rests on honesty, reliability, "integrity" of the individual. True authority rests not on physical strength and not on a strict tone, but on the respect of others. If a person does not deserve it, then his authority means nothing. One who is really an authority does not need to resort to authoritarianism. Such a person does not have to lose his temper so that family members begin to listen to him, because his loved ones want to be near him.
4. Continuity of generations. Traditions of love, values of altruism, kindness, care, decency are adopted and assimilated by the next generation. If this continuity is preserved for three generations, then the values, traditions, norms of this family turn into the spiritual roots of the clan, dynasty.
The family consists of three times: past, present and future, three dimensions of life, each of which has its own “head of the family”. Grandparents represent the history of past years, parents represent the present, and children represent the future.
Grandparents should be considered the head of the family. Grandparents are needed not only to take care of them in their old age during periods of indisposition. Their potential opportunities to introduce young people to spiritual values are immeasurably higher compared to working parents. They know life in all its diversity and could save you from many mistakes with timely advice, suggest how to and how not to act. With age, people perceive their national identity, values more acutely. national culture. They know the history of the country on the basis of their own observations, they are participants in many historical events, about which no writer will tell in such detail and interestingly as they do. They also know the geography of the country, because they had to live and visit different parts of it. The information gleaned from the stories of grandparents and other relatives is indispensable and irreplaceable for children. Thanks to love and respect for grandparents, a young person adopts the experience of the past and learns from it.
Father and mother stand in the position of the head of the family of the present time. They create the general tone of the intra-family atmosphere, maintain family comfort, home, organize a materially comfortable lifestyle, take care of the health of family members, work outside the family, providing contact with society, teach and educate children.
To be a parent worthy of being called “head of the family,” you must:
Exterminate in yourself bad habits destroying physical and moral health.
Work on your character, win the respect of others.
To show selfless service to relatives, friends, acquaintances, society, because a good example for children convinces much better than conversations and exhortations.
Children inherit the lineage of their grandparents, as well as their parents. They will continue the fate of their grandparents and their parents, and one day also become the "head of the family." For example, the heirs of royal dynasties already in early age understood their special position, their vocation. They were taught to certain manners, rules of conduct. For example, in adolescence, they were inaccessible to their peers of the opposite sex, since frivolous acts in this area of \u200b\u200brelationships can tarnish the honor of the royal family. Through education, sport, military service they cultivated in themselves a courageous and noble character, corresponding to their future destiny. Realizing their special origin and vocation, young princes and princesses look at life differently than ordinary children. Parents, in turn, try to give them the best upbringing and education so that they can become leaders of their people.
The moral values of the family are authoritative and supported by the memory of those who taught them, and how it was established in the family of parents, in the family of grandparents. But this is how it should be in every family. Parents want their children to achieve more than themselves. It is not for nothing that they say: “descendants are smarter than their ancestors”, “a bird remembers a nest, and a person remembers his ancestors”. Modern tendencies of weakening the influence of grandparents on grandchildren bear a lot of losses. The losses are not in money, but in the humanity and moral health of the younger generation.
From year to year, crime in Russia is getting younger, the proportion of crime among young people is growing. For the "modernization" of the family, one has to pay dearly. There is a tendency to blame the government and material troubles for everything, however, according to sociological sources, in prosperous America, the number of crimes among teenagers per capita is no less than in Russia. So, an increase in material well-being can and will eliminate one of the accompanying factors of juvenile delinquency, but not its causes. According to research data, in the structure of needs of people with deviant behavior, vital needs predominate, while spiritual needs are extremely poor. Therefore, the responsibility of the family is especially important, because in the family there is an assimilation of both positive and negative experience, ideas, and behavior patterns of parents.
Moral principles need to be given time to take root, being cultivated over the course of many generations without interruption. It takes three generations, at least, for a family tradition to survive. For example, the Israelites consider Abraham to be their ancestor. According to tradition, the values and beliefs of Abraham's family crystallized over the three generations of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The trials that befell each of the generations forced them to hold on tighter to the traditions of their ancestors, became the roots of the tradition of the Jewish people. Later they were systematized in ten commandments, among which were “honor your father and mother”, “do not kill”, “do not steal”, “do not commit adultery”, etc. Such postulates testify to the great wisdom of life, unusual for that time , which is becoming less and less common today. The chronicle contains information, partially confirmed by historical science, about the traditions of this historical family - they included faith in God, virtue, reverence for ancestors, forgiveness to brothers. Subsequently, the children of Jacob, although they acted vilely towards their own brother Joseph, suffered all their lives because of this, sincerely loved their old father, observed honesty in money calculations, and when their other brother, Benjamin, was threatened by slavery, they decided to share his bitter fate and showed the greatest selflessness. Joseph, the one who was sold into slavery, remaining faithful to the laws of his family, overcame the temptations of the treacherous wife of his boss Potiphar, served honestly, forgave his brothers, always honored his father Jacob, and besides all this, he made a brilliant career at the court of the pharaoh.
In the East, there has always been a cult of veneration of ancestors, a respectful attitude towards their culture, therefore the culture of the East itself has retained its originality and has remained virtually unchanged for centuries. A person in a family is much more protected from both political and social influence. The stronger his adherence to the traditions and values of his ancestors, the stronger his moral immunity against influences that are inconsistent with the spirit of his culture.
If the connection between generations is not strong enough and is not able to withstand social cataclysms that bring discord into the internal family relationships, That moral values of one generation do not take root in the next and can be irretrievably lost. Then at some point you will have to vaccinate them again. For example, a retrospective analysis of the Russian family allows us to see the causes of the modern moral crisis. Pagan traditions were swept away by the adoption of Christianity. The Tatar-Mongol invasion suspended and mothballed the process of creating a new, moral Christian image of the family. Then Peter's reforms. The collapse of ethno-cultural ties between generations occurred as a result of the "cultural revolution" after 1917. New traditions and new values of socialist construction began to be created. The methods of political influence cut off all the "harmful" influences of the "petty-bourgeois" family: traditions, beliefs, values. The Pavlik Morozovs began to appear. The family has practically ceased to exist as a place in which a person is bound by the most strong bonds with the culture and values of their ancestors and where their spiritual and moral development takes place. This role was now to be played labor collective. Political attitudes were planted in the minds of the Soviet people, becoming motivational factors. This is all in the past, of course. Now the institution of the family is gradually beginning to acquire its own value. Many see family as important to them. But from that family, in which the continuity of values is carried out by the vertical connection of three generations, there is practically no trace left.
Now the ethno-cultural situation is completely different. In "post-perestroika" Russia, there are three times - the past, represented by the older generation, brought up in the spirit of the communist era, not inclined to overestimate events and values; the present - a critical generation of adults, which is characterized by a personality-oriented model of justice, and the future - young people who are determined to rely only on their own strengths, not to trust anyone but themselves and to equip, first of all, their personal lives. It will take three generations to overcome this disunited state of society and lay firm spiritual and moral foundations. Therefore, the future depends on what value orientations will be chosen by today's youth, the so-called "NEXT generation".
True love in a family is not only a feeling, it is the will of a person who makes a decision to love, take responsibility, obligations, accept another person and share difficulties and concerns together. Family relationships are multiple obligations, as they are built not with one person, but with many: children, parents, spouses...
The main thing is respect
Feelings that push us to take such a responsible step as creating a family, over time, transform into others. In place of passion comes a deep understanding of each other, mutual respect and tenderness, which is so necessary for young parents.
So what is family love? These are obligations, daily work of all family members, bringing joy and pleasure. It's common holiday - holiday unity, where there is no place for anger, resentment, deceit and violence. Happiness is when everyone feels their importance and security. Love in the family is a shield, a fortress that no one can destroy.
It is a strong family built on respect and understanding that becomes a model of education for the younger generation. Children who grew up in an environment of peace and harmony, as a rule, are talented and successful. They are endowed with the energy of creation, warmth and kindness. Relations with parents are trusting and tender. They will carry the experience gained further in their lives and pass it on to their descendants as a family heirloom.
Don't look for recipes
Many people often ask themselves the question, what is love in a family and how to keep it and carry it all your life? First of all, it is worth understanding that this is not at all the feeling of passion that is so vividly and intrusively broadcast from television screens. This combination best qualities and the most serious attitude to each other, to the needs and desires of the spouse, to his weaknesses and fears. Tenderness and reverent attitude are much more complex feelings than the blind love that accompanies the first year. life together.
No matter how much a person reads literature on the topic “everything about love in the family”, there was and is no exact recipe suitable for everyone. Everyone determines the measure of responsibility, the degree of affection and the level of trust.
If, nevertheless, a person managed to meet love in life, nurture it and save it, then life has not been lived in vain. This means that a fortress built by joint efforts will withstand any assault, and a reliable shield of mutual understanding will protect against all adversity.
Every person has the right to happiness and has everything necessary to create it. Preserving and preserving this value is the most difficult, but quite realizable task. The desire to love and be loved, to find happiness and give it to others inspires a person; the impossible becomes possible and easily attainable. Just a bit of understanding and help is enough, which the specialists of the M.S. Center will gladly provide you with. Norbekova on the course "My happy family". By signing up for, you will receive answers to all your questions and find your way to family happiness.
How nice to hear about it, but even more pleasant to watch it. What can be expected from long-suffering and merciful husbands and wives? http://shedevriki.ru/op/go/alappo/p/d043
What can happen when spouses are too preoccupied with their own feelings?
Why can't we ever have dinner on time?" - says with annoyance exhausted after a hard day's husband, who is tired of waiting.
“Stop grumbling. It's almost done," she gives an angry reply. She also had a difficult day.
“But you are always ready this late. Why can't you ever be punctual?"
"It is not true!" she screams. “If you ever looked after children at all, you wouldn’t grumble so much. After all, they are your children!”
So a husband and wife grow an elephant out of a fly and, angry, part without saying more friend with a friend. Each contradicted the other's remarks until both were offended and offended. The evening was ruined. Each of them could have averted this development of the matter.
However, both were too preoccupied with their own feelings and did not pay attention to the feelings of the other. Their frustrated nerves failed.
Such problems can arise in many areas, for example, in connection with money. Or the husband may have the impression that the wife wants him excessively for herself, not wanting him to enjoy company with others.
She may feel neglected or taken for granted.
The cause of tension can be either one big problem or several small problems. Regardless of the reason, we are now interested in how to approach such a situation.
Everyone, husband and wife, can prevent such trouble from developing by being willing to “turn the other cheek” and not “return evil for evil,” but “overcome evil with good” (Matthew 5:39; Romans 12:17, 21).
To do so requires restraint and maturity, as does Christian love.
What does love really mean?
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is the God-inspired definition of love: , NM], does not seek his own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; covers everything [endures, NM], believes everything, hopes everything, endures everything [endures, NM]. Love never stops [doesn't fail, NM]."
Love can be based on various grounds: on physical attraction, on a family bond, or on mutual pleasure in communicating with each other.
However, the Bible shows that true love must transcend affection or mutual attraction and must be guided by concern for the supreme well-being of the loved one.
Such love can sometimes even rebuke or rebuke, as parents do with their children or Jehovah does with his worshippers.—Hebrews 12:6. Of course, feelings and emotions play a role, but in dealing with others they must not be allowed to override reason or right principles. Such love motivates us to treat everyone according to the good principles of mindfulness and nobility.
To further understand the benefits that love can bring to our family life, let's take a closer look at the definition given in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
"Love is long-suffering, merciful." Are you long-suffering with your marriage partner? Do you show restraint even in an annoying situation or when you are perhaps unfairly accused? Jehovah God is patient with all of us.
Love does not approve of transgressions, but still it does not find fault with everything petty. She is not impatient. It takes into account extenuating circumstances (1 Peter 4:8; Psalm 103:14; 129:3, 4). Even in serious matters, she is ready to forgive.
The apostle Peter certainly thought of himself that he was patient enough when he asked Jesus, “How many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? up to seven times? Jesus answered, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21, 22; Luke 17:3, 4). Love forgives repeatedly, it is infinitely kind. Are you like that too?
"Love does not envy [not jealous, NM]." It's hard to live with a person who is jealous for no real reason. Such jealousy is distrustful and overly desires to possess the other. She is childish, and deprives her partner of the freedom to behave naturally and affably in the presence of others. It is more blessed to give from the heart than to satisfy the demands of jealousy.
"Who can resist jealousy?" the Bible asks. Jealousy refers to the deeds of imperfect flesh (Proverbs 27:4; Galatians 5:19, 20). Can you detect signs of jealousy in yourself, caused by feelings of insecurity and fueled by fantasy? Usually it is not difficult to see the mistakes of another person, but it is more useful for us to examine ourselves. “Where envy [jealousy] and strife are, there is confusion and every evil thing” (James 3:16).
Jealousy can ruin a marriage. The affection of a husband or wife is not achieved by jealous restraints, but rather by loving care, consideration, and trust.
"Love does not exalt itself [not boasting, NM], does not pride itself." Many people brag, but few people like to hear bragging. In fact, the one who
knows the braggart well, is sometimes embarrassed by it. While some brag about their own merits in their conversations, others achieve the same in other ways. They criticize others and talk about them with disdain, so that they themselves seem to rise in comparison with their victims.
Thus, someone can exalt himself by humiliating others. To belittle your husband or your wife is actually a kind of boasting.
Have you ever spoken in front of others about the mistakes of your husband or your wife? How do you think he or she felt about it? How would you feel if your mistakes were exposed? Would you have the impression that the other loves you? No, for “love does not exalt itself” either by praising itself or humiliating others. If you are talking about your husband or your wife, then try to say something positive.
This will strengthen the bonds between you. And regarding your own personality, follow the wise counsel found in Proverbs 27:2: "Let another praise you, and not your mouth; a stranger, and not your tongue."
Love "does not act outrageous [does not behave indecently, NM]". Many things are clearly obscene, such as adultery, drunkenness, and outbursts of rage (Romans 13:13). In contrast to love, all this harms the marriage bond. Rudeness, vulgar expressions or actions, and also neglect of cleanliness are signs of lack of decency.
Do you carefully avoid anything that might offend the feelings of your husband or your wife? Do you treat him or her with care, with good manners and with respect? All this contributes to a happy and lasting marriage.
Love "does not seek its own, is not irritated." She is not self-centered. How much better it would be if the couple mentioned at the beginning of this chapter were distinguished by such love. A husband would not be angry with his wife because dinner was not served on time, and she would not flare up when answering him.
If the wife noticed that he was somewhat annoyed due to being tired, instead of getting angry, she could reply: “Dinner is almost ready. You must have had a tough day at work. I'll give you a glass of cold juice to drink, and in the meantime I'll set the table." And if the husband were more sensitive and did not think only about himself, he could ask her how he could help her.
Are you easily annoyed by what another says or does, or do you try to find the intention behind a word or deed? It is possible that no one wanted to offend you, but everything was harmless, just thoughtless. If you have love, then “let not the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26).
But what if the other was upset about something and intentionally expressed or acted in such a way as to offend you? Can you wait until you both calm down and talk about it later?
Approach the matter with your common interests in mind, and you will find the right words. "The heart of a wise man makes his tongue wise." “The one who covers a transgression seeks love,” not a continuation of the quarrel (Proverbs 16:23; 17:9).
If you curb the tendency to keep arguing to prove you're right, you can win in favor of love.
True love "does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth." She does not consider it "smart" to deceive another about the use of time,
spending money or your communication. She doesn't use half-truths to appear fair. Dishonesty destroys trust.
To be able to exist real love, both of you should have prepared the joy of telling each other the truth.
True love is strong and patient.
Love in the family “covers everything [endures, NM], believes everything, hopes everything, endures everything [endures, NM].” She holds her own under the strains and strains of marriage until both members of this close connection learn to be compliant and apply to each other.
She believes all the counsel in God's Word and applies it seriously, even when circumstances seem to be unfavorable. She is not gullible towards persons who are prone to dishonesty, but at the same time, she is not overly distrustful. She shows more confidence. Besides, she hopes for the best.
This hope is based on the firm conviction that the application of biblical counsel leads to the best results. Therefore, love can be positive, optimistic and looking forward. It is also not changeable and is not a temporary passionate love.
True love endures hard times and faces hardships with courage. She is resilient. She is strong, but nevertheless kind, affectionate, compliant and courteous. Such "love never fails [doesn't fail, NM]." What happens if a couple has financial difficulties during hard times?
Instead of dreaming of an easier life somewhere else, a wife who shows such love remains loyal to her husband and tries to save money or perhaps earn extra money in addition to her husband’s.—Proverbs 31:18, 24.
But what if the wife falls ill and the illness continues for years? A husband who has this kind of love does his best to give his wife the care she needs, to help her with household chores that she cannot do, and to make her feel that he still loves her.
What problems in general can overcome such love? Does it exist in your marriage? Do you show this love?
How does love flourish?
Love in the family, like a muscle, is strengthened by use. On the other hand, love, like faith, is dead without works. It is said that the words and deeds we are motivated to do by our deepest feelings come from the heart, which represents our inner motivation.
“Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. A good man out of a good treasure brings forth good things.” But if our feelings are evil, then “from the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies” (Matthew 12:34, 35; 15:19; James 2:14-17).
What thoughts and feelings do you have in your heart? If you reflect daily on how Jehovah has shown us love and try to imitate
His example will strengthen your good intentions.
The more you show this love, the more you will act and speak in harmony with it, and the more it will take root in your heart.
If you show love in small things every day, it will become a habit. This deep-rooted love will help you deal with the sometimes great challenges that come up (Luke 16:10).
Do you notice anything worthy of praise in a husband or wife? Tell it to him or her! Do you feel the urge to be kind to others?
Follow this wish! We ourselves must give love in order to reap it. Applying all of these will bring you closer to each other, unite you and allow love to flourish between you.
Share love so it grows. The first man, Adam, lived in Paradise. All his physical needs were abundantly satisfied. From the very beginning, all kinds of charms were around him. Not only meadows, flowers, forests and rivers, but also a variety of animals, birds, subordinate to him as the ruler of the earth. Having all this, Adam nevertheless needed something: he had no one with whom he could share this beautiful paradise.
Have you ever watched in amazement a spectacular sunset and, being alone, wished that you had a loved one with whom you could share this experience? Or have you ever had good news, but there was no one to tell it to?
Jehovah God saw this need of Adam and gave him a wife with whom he could share his thoughts and feelings. Mutual participation in something brings two people together and helps love to take root and flourish.
Marriage is a community. Sometimes a gentle look, a touch, a gentle word is enough, yes, just sitting together without words. Every action can
expressing love: making the bed, washing the dishes, saving money to buy the thing that the wife would like to have, but which she did not ask for because of the family budget, or help another when he does not have time with his work.
Love means to share with another work and play, troubles and joys, successes and failures, thoughts of the mind and feelings of the heart. We must have common goals and work together to achieve them. All this unites spouses and allows love to flourish.
Services rendered to the spouse or spouse contribute to the maturation of love. A wife usually serves by preparing meals, cleaning beds and apartments, washing linen, shopping, and so on.
The services of the husband usually consist in taking care of the means for the food she prepares, for the beds and the apartment which she cleans, and for the linen which she launders. This service, this giving, brings happiness and serves the growth of love.
According to Jesus, it is more blessed to give than to receive. It is also more blessed to serve than to be served (Acts 20:35). He told his disciples, “Let the greatest of you be your servant” (Matthew 23:11). This service attitude removes competitive spirit and promotes happiness.
When we serve, we feel that we are needed, that we have a purpose in life, and this gives us self-respect and satisfies us. Marriage gives husband and wife enough opportunities to serve each other and find that contentment. Thus, marriage will be even stronger bonded in love.
Love does not wait for dramatic circumstances to manifest itself. In some ways, love can be compared to clothes. How is a garment held together by a few large rope knots, or by thousands of small thread stitches? Of course, in thousands of small stitches, it doesn't matter whether we are talking about literal clothing or spiritual "clothes".
The constant accumulation of daily simple words and actions "dresses" us and shows us who we are. Such spiritual "clothes" do not wear out and fall in value like literal clothes. She is, according to the Bible, “incorruptible beauty” (1 Peter 3:4).
Do you want your marriage to be held by “perfect bonds of unity”? Then do what is recommended in Colossians 3:9, 10, 12, 14: “Putting off the old man with his deeds, and putting on the new, ... put on ... mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, ... put on love, which is the totality of perfection [perfect bonds of unity, NM].”
Coincidence or design?
Amazing interaction in the soil
The amazing union of plants and bacteria contributes to the biological processes in the soil that make life possible.
note
Nitrogen is essential for plant growth and reproduction. However, for plants to absorb it, this gas must be converted into compounds such as ammonia. Legumes solve this problem by working closely with bacteria called rhizobia. This mutually beneficial cooperation between dissimilar organisms is called symbiosis.
By means of a special chemical substance, legumes attract bacteria to their root system, which penetrate into the roots. According to one
According to a scientific journal, bacteria and plants, although belonging to different kingdoms, are collaborating "in creating what, in fact, can be called a new organ, an autonomously acting nitrogen-fixing root nodule" (Natural History).
Inside the nodule - their new home and workshop - the bacteria get to work. Their main tool is a special enzyme, which is a form of a protein called nitrogenase.
With its help, bacteria fix nitrogen, which they absorb from the air contained in the soil.
As noted in the same magazine, “all the nitrogenase on the planet… would fit in one big bucket.” Therefore, each molecule is precious! But there is a problem.
This enzyme is destroyed by oxygen. Where is the way out? Legumes produce a special substance that removes
potentially dangerous oxygen penetrating the nodules.
The nodules are surrounded by a membrane that regulates the exchange of ammonia, sugars and other nutrients between the bacteria and the plant. Legumes, like all plants, eventually die. In this case, ammonia remains in the soil. Therefore, legumes are rightly called "green manure".
What do you think?
Could microorganisms and their plant partners have "invented" such an amazing, incredibly complex life-support system?
Or is this yet another piece of evidence of creative design in nature?
Useful video
Family is not what is usually considered a family. What is a family, few people know now
Almost all of us grew up in families, although not always in full families. It would seem that everyone should know what it is - a family. However, our psychologists, who work with various family crises, argue that, in fact, almost no one from today knows what a family really is. And this is what prevents people from creating strong, happy families.
We do not pretend to fully disclose such an area as family psychology, family relations, but we will try to reveal the most important thing in this area - what is a family, what is the root of the difficulties of family relations, which is the basis of a happy family, marriage.
Since a happy family is possible only between a real man and a real woman, read on the Realists website:
Responsibility and acceptance - the roles of men and women in the family
Courage is responsibility. The man is responsible for the end result. Not for explaining why it didn’t work, despite the fact that he did everything right. No, the man is responsible for making it work in the end. And if it didn't work, then he did something wrong. A responsible man won't say, "You raised your child wrong." Where have you been? Have worked? So, you went to ensure that your wife raised the child, as she knows how, as she sees fit. Answer now for it yourself, do not blame her. Read more
The ship of the family crashes on the ice of selfishness
Family is not a toy. The family has its own laws. Even carpenters who make wooden stools have their own rules. And the laws of creating a happy family are much more complicated ... And what happens when you create modern families? Two people met, liked each other, dreamed and decided to create a good and beautiful house. They didn’t make calculations, sketches, there is no foundation, but there is only a desire to live beautifully ... Read more
The family needs hierarchy
Family relationships involve a high degree of trust. My husband or my wife is the person I can rely on. No wonder there is such an understanding: "A husband is a stone wall." But a wife is also a helper to her husband. This means that there must be a high degree of trust and responsibility of one person for another. I think that the family begins from the moment of the wedding. The formation of a family is a great mystery. Even unbelieving people at the time of the wedding suddenly begin to understand that some kind of sacrament has happened in their life, which really made them a single being, completely inseparable. At this moment, great help is given to them, in addition to the efforts that they themselves make to build a family. Read more
Commitment keeps people together
What is a family when it is formed? The moment of registration unites two people, first of all, by the fact that they give obligations to each other. Whether we realize it or not, we give each other both obligations and rights over ourselves. (Even if we treat the procedure itself with a share of irony, which, indeed, is a parody of the sacrament of a wedding.) After all, since ancient times there have been such terrible things as an oath and a vow. People were very afraid to swear something false or break this vow. Because they understood that words have a great mystical meaning. And the stamp only reminds that these words were actually spoken. Commitment is what keeps people together. In everything together. From the moment of registration, it is no longer “I” and “you”, but “we”. In the early years of a family relationship, this notion of “we” must take root. Read more
Marriage: the end and the beginning of freedom
Family psychology. You can often hear that family relationships are a prison for love with its freedom. This is true - but only if you put love and romance at the forefront. When people live together, they have to dive into unromantic things: where to get money, how to survive a visit from a spouse's relatives, or what to do with dirty socks. Yes, all living people get dirty socks from somewhere, and it is impossible to ignore this problem when living together. A purely romantic relationship requires a special setting - a luxurious palace or seashore - where the "unsightly" aspects of being can be hidden from each other. In addition, romantic love tends to oppose the whole world and society with its institutions, including marriage. How many novels and films about happy families do we know, and even without treason? Read more
Does a family need a hierarchy?
IN modern world It so happened that each person tries to be on his own, to catch "his own wave", but not a single organization can exist without a leader. If there is no good "master" (this applies to any organization), anarchy occurs, the structure ceases to function, and simple slippage begins. Eventually, the structure simply ceases to exist... Read more
If you create a family, then for life
We understand that family relationships are the main thing, we think sensibly. Everything here suits me, everything is smooth, everything is smooth, I am absolutely not nervous here, I don’t need anything else! After having the first child, I do not need anything! Children greatly strengthen the family, one might say, by 90%. And when the second child appeared, it is such happiness that it is difficult to explain! You can't break such a happy family. Read more
Family country is a great country
From my point of view, people have created a family from the moment they crossed the line of comradeship - when they entered into family relationships, that is, close relationships. Another question is what kind of family they created and how they will have to pay for it. Very often, unfortunately, in this cohabitation, on someone's part, there is genuine love, an attempt to realize it, and on the part of the other person there is a desire to use their partner. This happens very often, and this is a very big mistake. From a spiritual point of view, the true family is the union that first asked for blessings from their parents, from society, from God. Because love is a big deal, which, like a sea passage, is associated with storms, with difficulties ... Read more
The meaning of the family is the pursuit of happiness
What do people look for in marriage? They are looking for happiness. If any person who goes to the registry office or down the aisle is asked what a person expects from a family, he, of course, will answer: happiness. And do not be ashamed of this, because a person should really strive for happiness. And he hopes that when another person appears next to him, who will love him and whom he will love, then this will be happiness. Are these people right or not? I think that, by and large, they are right. It is really happiness if you meet a person who will be the completion of you, who will be the closest and dearest person. Because a person is such a creature that cannot be alone, who strives for communication, and the highest fullness of communication is realized in marriage. Therefore, of course, family is happiness. Read more
Relationship problems in a young family
Distortions of family psychology begin already at the wedding and long before it. A lot of women who get married behave the same way at a wedding, when the newlyweds are supposed to bite off a piece of the loaf. They try so hard to bite off more. They shout to her: “Bite more!” And the woman tries to swallow to the maximum. According to the Moscow proverb: "The wider you open your mouth, the more you bite off." So they try to open their mouth wider, up to a dislocation. They do not even know that a family tragedy begins here. This is the beginning of family pain in several generations. Read more
Apologia for marriage
Why a happy family is happiness? Because the family helps us constantly, daily feel that there is someone we love more than ourselves. It is known, for example, that parents, as a rule, love their children more than the children of their parents. But that doesn't make parents any less happy. For children are able to give them much more joy, Have a good mood than we im. Maybe it will sound a little pathetic, but I will say that the balance of the forces of good and evil in the world depends on whether there is peace in each particular family or whether sin and evil reign there. It's easier than ever to scold the government, reformers, oligarchs, and cheat on your wives, have abortions or abandon children in maternity hospitals. Or even with constant quarrels and conflicts, poison the life of yourself and your loved ones. Read more
Building a strong family needs to be learned
Family psychology. Close stable relationships between people, especially in a family, are a complex system, one can even say that a family is a living organism. It has its own mechanisms of interaction, principles of functioning, which allow this system to work efficiently and for a long time. You can also go the way of stuffing "bumps", but only this is a very painful, hard way, which is associated with many unnecessary suffering. And at the same time there is no guarantee that the experience will still be gained. More often, the cones are stuffed, but there is no sense. Read more
How can a wife help her husband be a worthy head of the family. 12 Postulates for Women (Part 1)
For any real man, without exception, the opinion of a woman is very important. Moreover, a man is ready, taking into account this opinion, to perform truly heroic deeds and even to undertake to work on himself. I often quote a joking but very true statement: "A man remains for a long time under the impression that he made on a woman." Read more
How can a wife help her husband be a worthy head of the family. 12 Postulates for Women (Part 2)
Sometimes the wife, in fact, clearly exercises power and is proud of it and boasts in front of her friends who admire her. It is better to step back modestly, under the husband's wing and use for the good of the family his competence, abilities, hidden energy, which is released when a man is given the opportunity to prove himself. If a man loses even the illusion that he is the head of the family, then he begins to function simply badly, if not tragically... Read more
How can a wife help her husband be a worthy head of the family. 12 Postulates for Women (Part 3)
The house simply needs a man. The husband must exercise power, and regard his wife as the most important adviser, without discussing issues with her, not to make a single serious decision. Up to the point that his wife should be an expert for him, with whose opinion on some issues he will reckon more than with his own. Recognition, for example, of a wife's greater competence in matters relating to the functioning of the home is a manifestation of wisdom, not weakness of a man ... Read more
Family well-being is one of the most important tasks of a person. It is the atmosphere that reigns in the family that allows the wife to be loved and happy, the husband to become more successful and more confident in his abilities, and the children to be brought up by responsible and conscientious people. Therefore, any person, both a man and a woman, needs to remember special rules that allow you to maintain love in the family and harmonize your relationships.
9 rules will help keep love in the family:
1. Do not look for your father in your husband, your mother in your wife
Studies have shown that a person, on a subconscious level, is looking for that image of his soulmate, which was formed in childhood. And often this way is his parent of the opposite sex. However, if you do not want to be disappointed and lose family well-being, stop looking in your (your) spouse for an image from your own childhood.
2. Maintain your differences
It is believed that the differences between the sexes are only worthy of condemnation. However, it was these very differences that led to the fact that you fell in love with each other. Therefore, these differences, which are complements of both of you, should be helped and greatly strengthened. Drop social conditioning and your prejudices for the sake of love.
3. Don't be ashamed of intimacy
Unfortunately, many couples continue the game of "Sex is a sin" even in family life. However, consider that even before the expulsion of Adam and Eve from Eden, they had sex, like the rest of its inhabitants. As you can see, there is no sin in intimacy, it's all just fiction.
4. Don't treat each other like things
By reducing your partner to the level of a thing (that is, consumerism), you lower yourself to such a level. After all, only like can communicate with its own kind: cats with cats, birds with birds, a tree with a tree.
5. Don't make long-term promises to each other.
Any promise for the future is a lie, because how can you be sure that you will really be together for the rest of your life, help every minute or protect your partner? In addition, you yourself earlier, making promises, did not always fulfill them, because you were lazy, there was no time, or the desire disappeared. Stop reassuring your spouse with false promises.
6. Know how to be happy apart!
If two people are unhappy alone, then when they reunite, they become even more unhappy. How can you give a person happiness if you cannot be happy alone without him? Forget the “romantic” patterns “I’ll die without you”, “I miss you”, because these are the expressions that say that you are a slacker, you have nothing to do, you have no interests of your own and you need a “clown” who will entertain and relieve boredom. Stop being bored and take the time to make your family life more harmonious and prosperous even when you are not next to each other.
7. Love Unconditionally
When your feelings are not motivated towards each other, then you can say that you love. If you have an explanation for your feelings, then you are close to a person because of some kind of self-interest (money, sex, getting rid of the status of "single" and something else). The first love lesson is to give your love! Become a giver, because most people now act differently: they give love, while expecting no less love in return. And if they don't get it, then they stop loving themselves. But in fact, this is not love, but deceit. When you love, you want to present it as a gift, not as a win-win contract.
8. Family is no place for fears.
If you are afraid of something, then by doing so, you are gradually destroying your relationship, because where fear dwells, doubts, manipulations, innuendo and secrets also dwell. You will not be able to fully open up to your spouse if you are afraid of something. Your feelings will not be able to spill like a stream, but will be like a “faucet” that either closes or opens. In fear, you will lose your time to calculate everything, plan everything, because only then will you be at least a little sure of something. Live here and now, and many problems will go away simply because you do not create them yourself.
9. Always look for fault in yourself
When relationships do not develop as we would like, then often the spouses begin to blame each other. However, it is in this way that marriage is destroyed and love disappears in the family. While you are blaming someone else, that person has to defend himself by blaming you. Therefore, in any conflict situation look, first of all, for your mistakes, then your partner will begin to look for and correct their own shortcomings without any claims against you.
These are so light and at the same time very important rules are able to keep love in your family, make everyone happy and responsible, and most importantly, the atmosphere of the family will always attract only positive events and success.
